Blog: friends
Posted: September 8, 2024
The single mom and I sat on the beach in our chairs, with our feet dangling in the warm lake water. The setting was glorious but the conversation was hard and I knew my friend needed some practical advice. As I listened and prayed (in my mind while she was speaking) I asked God to give me some words to give her hope. Immediately I remembered the five simple words that helped me through my darkest journey. Everything in life is temporary. As soon as I said these words her shoulders relaxed and I could see peace invade her heart. When we’re in the middle of suffering everything feels dark and hopeless and often we can’t see how that will ever change. We feel lost, alone and weak. Often times we feel stuck. Our difficult circumstances overwhelm us and darkness is all we can see. It drains the life and…
Posted in: a time for everything under the Heaven, adversity, alone, anxiety, anxious, ask for help, circumstances, Conflict, crisis, darkness, death, disappointments, Encouragement, Everything in life is temporary, Expectations, friends, gift of peace, grief, happy, Making Wise Choices, momentary trouble, one-another, Overcoming Struggles, Peace, Prayer, relationships, seasons of darkness, show up, temporary, troubles, waiting, we need each other
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Posted: August 4, 2024
Disappointments are part of every day life. We didn’t get that parking spot, the food didn’t match up to the price, and your flight was delayed or cancelled. The new outfit doesn’t look as great as you thought and the summer company you were excited about ended up causing chaos. Often we glibly say: “We need to just get over it.” But disappointments can leave us mildly irritated or they can crush our soul. Because there are disappointments that are life changing. They may not be a death but it actually feels like it. The Doctor told you it was multiple myeloma or brain tumour, you find out your grandchild is addicted to drugs or gambling, you discover your business is going bankrupt and you will lose the house you love. Your spouse tells you he/she don’t love you anymore. Those disappointments are like a death. I’ve talked to many…
Posted in: anxiety, chaos, crisis, cry, darkness, death, decisions, depression, despair, disappointments, empathy, empty soul, Expectations, feeling bad, Finding Truth, focus, friends, grief, lamenting, listen, mourn, Overcoming Struggles, relationships, seasons of darkness, sympathy, thankful, trouble, weeping
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Posted: June 13, 2021
It’s time to laugh again. We’ve toughed it out, physical distanced and stayed indoors too long. It’s time to get the limbic brain dancing. The limbic system in our brain is the seat of emotions, memories and is responsible for our well-being. In fact, if you place the limbic brain under an MRI when you’ re happy and energized, it displays beautiful colours and dances. It’s time for some colourful dancing and fresh joy. Yes, a chocolate bar or bowl of ice cream will help. But, therapists tell us that one of the best ways to help our brain do the limbic dance is to get out into God’s creation. We’ve been so caught up in the latest Covid reports, politics, vaccines, and homeschooling that many have forgotten the power of creation. God is the master creator. God is the master creator. He created thousands of orchid species and butterflies,…
Posted in: be creative, beauty, beauty and joy, Covid-19, disappointments, fresh joy, friends, girlfriends, God's creation, happiness needs to be shared, hiking, Laughter, limbic dance, limbic sytem, lower than the angels, mountain top, nature, physical distancing, rainbows, sweat a little, troubles, waterfalls, worry
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Posted: August 30, 2020
It was time for me to grab my gardening gloves, water bottle and hat and give back to my church and community. My beloved home church, Trinity Church Kelowna, was gifted 23 acres of land that has been transformed into magnificent vegetable gardens to supply food for our Food Bank and many other organizations. Volunteers do most of the immense work and I knew it was time for me giddy-up and get out there to help. Giddy-up and get out there. Yes I was on my knees for almost two hours, and it’s tedious work, but when I was done I felt satisfied and fulfilled. I wanted to be a blessing but a double portion of blessing came back to me. Here’s what happened: I “got to” spend almost two hours with a friend, across from each other picking tomatoes and having the most delightful conversations. As we finished, we…
Posted in: alone, anger, blessings, community gardens, Expectations, Forgiveness, Freedom, fresh joy, friends, happy, joy, marriage, Overcoming Struggles, sowing and reaping, thankful, what goes around comes around
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Posted: April 19, 2020
In the last month Amazon has run out of bread makers, we’ve pulled puzzles out of our closets and even stopped scoffing at paint by number projects. In my own family my granddaughter has taken to painting rocks, we’re learning German, canning pickles and there’s heated bread-baking competitions. During this harshly imposed isolation I am left to live alone. I’m an extrovert and I love being involved with people and events, and within a week all my speaking and travelling events were cancelled. My calendar was wiped clean. After gasping for air and realizing none of this was a joke I made a deliberate choice. This Covid-19 would not wreck me. First, I had to settle some truth and facts. In our family when there is an unexpected or unpleasant turn of events we use this phrase, “accept and allow.” To “accept” the Covid situation I had to be real…
Posted in: accept and allow, adversity, all alone, alone, anxiety, ask for help, be creative, Christ, companionship, Covid-19, crisis, decisions, Encouragement, Expectations, Faith, Families, Finding Truth, friends, heart of God, homes, isolation, Jesus, loneliness, love, make your bed, Making Wise Choices, Overcoming Struggles, temporary, trouble, trust, trust Good, we need each other
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Posted: October 7, 2019
Living alone is hard, especially if you’ve always had someone by your side for a long time. Your body is jarred when your heart is exploding with joy and no one at home to share it with. Or, an unexpected bill arrives in the mail and now it’s up to you to handle it. You need to turn on the irrigation but don’t know where the knobs are, or you need to learn how to barbecue or change the filter in the furnace. In the almost three years of living alone, I’ve overcome all those frustrations and solitary adventures, but the aloneness is always there. I’m facilitating a group called Grief Share, where once again I’m confronted with the reality of people learning how to live alone. Some for the first time after fifty or sixty years. I ache for them and cry for them because this is hard. Now…
Posted in: alone, ask God, Christ, companionship, decisions, empty chair, Encouragement, Expectations, feeling good, friends, Friendship, happiness, havens, homes, hospitality, laughter, loneliness, Overcoming Struggles, pray, recapture your joy, relationships
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Posted: July 7, 2019
I’ve earned the “School of Hard Knocks” degree of being a Grief Expert through no choice of my own. After being widowed twice, losing my dad through ALS, my mother through myelodysplasia plus a myriad of other loses; I’ve heard every encouraging, and not so, encouraging word. After reading that wonderful article by Celeste Headlee in her Huffpost article, I wanted to add a few of my personal favourites. Please don’t berate yourself if you find your words in any of the following scripts. Grief is the most painful feeling we encounter while we walk this earth. It’s outrageously personal. It’s love with no place to go. It’s awkward. It’s the walking wounded and nothing you say is right or wrong or will make it better. I love it when people try to say something, instead of not making eye contact or walking away. I’ve been one of the fortunate…
Posted in: alone, Christ, cry, death, Encouragement, friends, God's love, grief, Heavenly Father, honesty, joy, Kindness, laugh, listen, love never fails, pain, pray, relationships, smile, suffering
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Posted: November 13, 2017
These are the dark days of remembering. The paramedics revived my beloved Jack’s heart on November 11, but then he died November 15th. Yesterday (November 11th) one of my children asked, “Mom, what did you think about when you first work up this morning? I responded, “My house full of paramedics, machines, frenzied and hushed conversations and a lot of thumping.” But as the day evolved, the images changed from the horror of that day, to the beauty found in the valley of pain. My two words for 2017 are hope and healing. For the past year those two words were on my prayer sheet, and the lenses through which I sought God to birth fruit to meaningless words on paper. However, those words became alive through my faith, family and friends. Faith: Faith is my top spiritual gift, but it didn’t feel like it during the dark and lonely…
Posted in: Faith, Families, friends, happiness, healing, Hope, joy, laughter, love, pain, pray
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Posted: September 11, 2017
I’m not prone to worry or struggle with anxiety. The only times I’ve felt anxious is moments before I step onto a platform with a large audience or waiting for biopsy reports. For thirty years I’ve taught people to find “the peace that surpasses all unde rstanding” (Phil. 4:6,7) by changing their worry words into prayer words. It looks something like this. Instead of worrying about a huge problem at work, change your words into a prayer: “Heavenly Father, You know that by tomorrow I have to resolve (the problem). I confess that I don’t know what to do. I ask that when I wake up tomorrow you will guide me to the right people, the necessary paperwork and give me wisdom to resolve the issue. I thank you in advance for how You will work this out. Thank You, Amen.” In the last thirty years God answered this prayer…
Posted in: counsellor, Faith, friends, isolated, Jesus, joy, Peace, pray, Prayer, trust, unanswered prayer
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Posted: May 28, 2017
Imagine a room filled with gift boxes of every shape, colour and size. What would you hope to find that would make you happy beyond reason? Perhaps a new car, the latest TV screen, latest version of I-phone, a promotion, a new puppy or a luxury vacation? Or maybe you need a good night’s sleep, less stress, be able to get pregnant or stop the neighbour’s dog from barking late at night. I know those are all good desires that would bring a smile to your face and ease in your life. As Christians we have access to a room filled with gift boxes that hold everything we need to feel rich and fulfilled. But we won’t recognize our need for different boxes until a phone call, conversation or tragic incident throws our world out of balance. How do we find the kind of gifts we need during this dark…
Posted in: ask God, desires, friends, happy, Hope, i-phone, joy, Laughter, Making Wise Choices, Overcoming Struggles, pain, Prayer, purpose, rest, trauma
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