Blog: Kindness

Chasing Sunshine-by Heidi McLaughlin

Posted: November 28, 2021

Bursts of joy immerse my heart when the sun breaks through the clouds and sunglasses glide onto my face. Add to that my favourite flip-flops and a linen top and I’m on my way to a good day. I live in a beautiful vineyard valley with lots of sunshine, which is perfect for nourishing the grapes and sweeting the wine. But it’s not all sunshine. A heavy blanket of grey seems content to sit on top of the mountains from the middle of November to February. These are the months I have to get up and actually chase the sunshine. We have to chase the sunshine. If I don’t make a concerted effort to seek sunshine, the gloomy clouds will suffocate my soul. So I have to remember that clouds can be deceptive.  Their puffed up, dark stories lie to us. This is your life right now, dark, gloomy without…

Posted in: alone, ask God, beauty and joy, bitterness, chasing sunshine, do the right thing, Encouragement, Forgiveness, fresh joy, gloomy days, God's goodness, Kindness, Making Wise Choices, Patience, temporary

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Locking Horns-by Heidi McLaughlin

Posted: October 7, 2021

There are vineyards all around me, plus the bonus of a ready-made family of 15 deer. Male, female and many adorable bambis and they’ve taught me a lot.  They love most flowers including rose bushes, cedars, and almost anything with green leaves. They’ve made me want to pull my hair out when I’ve had to replant my front flower bed for the third time and stare at me through the window while I’m watching TV. But last week they gave me a two-hour teachable moment. Two of the males locked horns. It was heartbreaking to watch. The clicking-clacking of the interlocked horns. The pushing, shoving and writhing backwards and sideways. Their grunting expressed their agony and I was unable to help them. Both were in pain but could not get away from each other.  They were stuck! They were stuck! It became a “God moment “ where the Holy Spirit…

Posted in: accept and allow, betrayal, break free, Conflict, Control, deer head locks, Differences, fighting, forgive one another, Forgiveness, Freedom, Friendship, head lock, Heavenly Father, Intimacy, Kindness, relationships, set free, unlock

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We Need Each Other-by Heidi McLaughlin

Posted: February 9, 2020

Twice in this last week I’ve needed help and was gutsy enough to ask for it. One big “ask” was for gift items for a Boys Home in Colombia. I am part of a huge Women’s ministry in my beloved church in Kelowna, British Columbia and I bravely asked for help. I asked for gifts of LEGO, soccer balls, games and puzzles that I could take with me on my upcoming trip to visit three cities in Colombia. I was overwhelmed with the outpouring of love and generosity of the women to lavish elaborate gifts on boys they’ve never met. My second big ask was on Facebook. I need help with the subtitle for my new book called IRRESISTIBLE JOY launching October 10, 2020. The subtitle of any book is a vital piece for the reader to know what’s actually inside the book. So I posted three sub-title options on…

Posted in: alone, ask for help, blessings, Colombia, Encouragement, Friendship, isolation, joy, Kindness, loneliness, needs, thankful, we need each other

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What NOT to say to a Grieving Friend-by Heidi McLaughlin

Posted: July 7, 2019

I’ve earned the “School of Hard Knocks” degree of being a Grief Expert through no choice of my own. After being widowed twice, losing my dad through ALS, my mother through myelodysplasia plus a myriad of other loses; I’ve heard every encouraging, and not so, encouraging word. After reading that wonderful article by Celeste Headlee in her Huffpost article, I wanted to add a few of my personal favourites. Please don’t berate yourself if you find your words in any of the following scripts. Grief is the most painful feeling we encounter while we walk this earth.  It’s outrageously personal. It’s love with no place to go. It’s awkward. It’s the walking wounded and nothing you say is right or wrong or will make it better. I love it when people try to say something, instead of not making eye contact or walking away.  I’ve been one of the fortunate…

Posted in: alone, Christ, cry, death, Encouragement, friends, God's love, grief, Heavenly Father, honesty, joy, Kindness, laugh, listen, love never fails, pain, pray, relationships, smile, suffering

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11 Habits that turn Adversity into Advantages-by Heidi McLaughlin

Posted: July 9, 2018

If you only had 30 days to live what would you do differently? I’m quite certain the first thing you would do is quit your job and lean into people and things that are most important to you. Many people are not really willing to live fully alive, until they know they’re going to lose what they already have. So why not start living full out, not stuck in the “if only’s”, letting go of resentment and past hurts and using your past adversity as a springboard into your very best life? Our world is infatuated with comfort and well-being. But we need to embrace our adversity. Each and every form of our trials brings a great opportunity to be seized for something much better. You and I, with the transforming power of the Holy Spirit, can turn every affliction and pain into a new advantage and lasting joy in…

Posted in: adversity, ask God, Balancing life, Beauty from the Inside Out, Christ, companionship, God's love, happiness, happy, honesty, joy, Kindness, Making Wise Choices, Prayer, relationships, resilient, self worth, trouble, trust, victory

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Love Never Fails-Heidi McLaughlin

Posted: December 3, 2017

Since I’ve come back from Romania many people have presented a valuable question. “So Heidi, what difference do you think you made over in Romania?” Initially this question caught me off guard and I responded with the most obvious answers, “Well, we helped clean a church, put on Ladies Teas and handed out gift bags, and helped create an atmosphere for a Canadian Thanksgiving.” Upon reflection I realize I did not change the world with those helpful gestures. I simply took two weeks out of my luxurious life to try to show God’s love to an impoverished country through acts and words of love and kindness. In the last three days I’ve taken long walks and asked God this puzzling question, “God, how did I make a difference?” Today the answer came as clear as though it was written on a banner in front of my eyes. “LOVE NEVER FAILS”…

Posted in: Encouragement, generosity, God' Love, Kindness, love, relationships, Romania

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When Hope and Grit Collide

Posted: May 8, 2017

Hope gets us up in the morning. We can get through the rough stuff when we believe that something good is going to happen. But sometimes, out of the blue, grit shows up and stops us dead in our tracks. It may be a call from your Doctor’s office, an accident, divorce, bankruptcy, death or other bad news that changes everything and time stands still. That is what happened to me three months ago. Grit showed up in the way of a panic attack. I’ve only had two panic attacks (after the death of my first husband) so I was familiar with the sensations and breathing my way out of it. But it was a panic attack that would not stop and days later I was diagnosed with PTSD. I knew Jack’s (my second husband) death was traumatic and I thought I was dealing with that deep pain during the…

Posted in: alone, community, death, Families, friends, grief, grit, happy, Hope, Kindness, panic attacks, trauma, trust

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RESTLESS-Surviving Overabundance

Posted: July 25, 2016

  Lately I spent a lot of time with “little people” who love a packed fun filled day. Halfway through a swim, card game or mini golf expedition they become restless and the question of the hour is always, “So nana, what are we going to do next?” Grownups are not much different. We’re always talking about the “next best golf game, next vacation, next big pay cheque” and on and on. We are living in an era of over-abundance and it is hurting us. When we allow over-abundance for little people, we instil selfishness, narcissism and an attitude of entitlement. Who wants to be around that type of whiney, unhappy children? Unfortunately as grown-ups we continue to have that restless nature. Sadly, those character traits don’t bode well in a marriage relationship. Our wedding vows did not say, “Love, cherish and honour until we become restless and look for…

Posted in: Christ, Commitment, companionship, Control, Expectations, Friendship, fulfillment, Good Marriage, happiness, Kindness, Life of Jesus, marriagechallenge, narcissistic, restless, selfish, true love

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A K.I.S.S. MARRIAGE-“It’s About Time”

Posted: February 13, 2015

How can we bulletproof our marriages in a culture that is too busy to spend intimate time with the people we love? Rick Warren in his best selling book, “What on Earth Am I Here For?” says that the way to spell LOVE is T.I.M.E. I totally agree! Last weekend I had the privilege and JOY to speak to a group of families with young children about taking TIME to re-connect with our spouses and children. Let me share my points: T. TAKE TIME TO LOOK UP AND DIG DOWN It’s time to lay down our technology; look into each other’s eyes and engage in intimate, honest and meaningful conversation. We also need to dig down behind the words and our emotions to find out what the other person is really saying. For example, when a wife says: “Don’t touch me”, it could mean: “You said you would take out…

Posted in: Balancing life, Communication, companionship, Differences, Encouragement, Expectations, Faith, Finding Truth, Freedom, Freedom from Busyness, Friendship, fUN, God' Love, Good Marriage, Harmony, Intimacy, Kindness, Laughter, Life of Jesus, Listening, love, Making Wise Choices, Pain Pleasure, Patience, Peace, Pleasure, power of words, Resentment, self gratification

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THE K.I.S.S. MARRIAGE – A Place of Refuge

Posted: December 20, 2014

The world can be a harsh place these days. Take a few minutes to browse the CNN news and I know when you walk away your heart will be wrecked and sad. There is so much anger and hatred in our world, yet I know that we all long for a place of beauty, safety and comfort.  Besides the local spa I am not sure how many other places you will find this refuge.  So it has to be our marriages and our homes. This last year has been an extremely challenging year in my workplace and grieving the loss of my mother. Not to mention the day to day struggles that all of us encounter.  Yet I am so blessed to be able to walk through our door each evening and run into my husband Jack’s arms. He is a safe place of refuge by listening to my rambling,…

Posted in: Balancing life, Beauty Unleashed, Communication, companionship, Encouragement, Friendship, Good Marriage, Harmony, Kindness, love, Making Wise Choices, Pleasure, Uncategorized, Understanding each other, Valued

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