Blog: anxiety

THE RESENTMENT BOX-by Heidi McLaughlin

Posted: June 10, 2024

We want to be nice girls so we stuff our feelings, paste on a plastic smile and carry on. Inwardly the heart churns and toxic fumes accumulate as we drink our own poison hoping the other person will die.  Resentment is the number one killer of relationships, especially marriages. I consider myself an expert on this topic as I learned how to recognize and survive this toxic crisis in my first marriage.  I recall how each time I felt resentment, I wanted to pick up a rock and throw it toward my enemy.  But because I tried to have harmony in the home I hid the rock (my anger) and put it into a pretty little imaginary box where it would be nice and safe. I was clueless about the dangers of ultimate explosions. I did not know that resentment was: Feeling heartbroken after exerting a great deal of effort…

Posted in: accusations, adversity, angry, Anticipation, anxiety, ask God, Assumptions, betrayal, confront conflict, disappointments, do the hard work, don't give up, Expectations, faulty thinking, Finding Truth, forgive one another, frustrations, grit, healing, honest, Hope, messes, Offenses, Overcoming Struggles, power of words, relationships, Resentment, set free, shame, take care of your heart, Tension, trouble, Understanding each other, worry

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A PRICELESS GIFT-by Heidi McLaughlin

Posted: April 1, 2024

With the world swirling in chaos all around us we need something real and meaningful to hold onto. Something that really works. Before someone dies they have no reason to hold back words of love and wisdom. After all the heard earned wisdom they’ve gleaned in this life, now is the time to say what really works and matters. Before Jesus went to the cross to die for our sins He gave us a priceless gift: “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you: (John 14:27). “My peace I give you.” After Jesus’ resurrection and when He met his disciples behind locked doors, He frightened and startled them, thinking He was a ghost. The first words to them out of Jesus’ mouth were: “Peace be with you” (Luke 24:26). There it is again, the gift of peace. That gives me goose bumps, Why is peace such a powerful…

Posted in: anxiety, ask God, chaos, Christ in us, Finding Truth, gift of peace, Overcoming Struggles, pain, Peace, Prayer, priceless gift of peace, take care of your heart, troubles, worry

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Is That a “Should” on your “Shoulder?”-by Heidi McLaughlin

Posted: August 21, 2023

If you knew you only had thirty days to live, what is one thing in your life that you would stop right now?” This provoking question started a lively discussion amongst my group of friends. After much animated banter, one main theme came into focus; stop the life-sucking “shoulds”out of our daily activities. We agreed that many of us cave into guilt-induced obligations. We are afraid that we will disappoint people or they might not like us. The discussion became livelier as we tried to determine the obligations we needed to let go so that we could enjoy the vibrant, fulfilling life that Jesus came to model for us. There is one prevailing statement I hear these days: “I am so tired!”It is a proven statistic that today we sleep 1-1/2 hours less that we did one hundred years ago.[i] More motor vehicle accidents are being reported because both men…

Posted in: anxiety, ask for help, ask God, chaos, Conflict, each day has enough troubles of its own, Encouragement, Expectations, Freedom from Busyness, frustrations, grace, live one day at a time, Making Wise Choices, Overcoming Struggles, perfectionism, re-evaluate, Say no, should, trust God for today

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Surviving the Christmas Fatigue-by Heidi McLaughlin

Posted: December 11, 2022

It’s not always the big stuff that can push us over the Christmas edge; sometimes it’s an accumulation of multiple little things that cause fatigue. For example: Saturday I was going to start my Christmas baking of cookies and my never fail butter tarts. But I didn’t check my flour supply and forgot about the corn syrup for the filling. So in the middle of a big mess, with no makeup and without brushing my hair, I’m driving down snowy, slippery roads to my closest store; Wal-Mart. But they were out of corn syrup. So were two other stores.  By the time I navigated all the parking, ran up and down a zillion aisles, stood in line to pay for one item, I’m struggling to keep smiling. Not to mention cancelled events, (for which I prepared) and wall-to-wall people in the mall. Each year I am determined to have a…

Posted in: anger, Anticipation, anxiety, Christmas fatigue, Christmas joy, disappointments, Exit plans, Expectations, Freedom from Busyness, frustrations, Move on, relationships, Resentment, rest, Say no, Simple, Solitude, take care of your heart

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COME TO ME-by Heidi McLaughlin

Posted: July 11, 2022

 Are you getting into a good “post Covid” rhythm or are you struggling to find your new normal? If you’re not doing as well as you thought you would you are not alone. I’ve been advised that since Covid introverts are more introverted and extroverts are less extroverted. So whether we realize it or not, the two years of Covid has changed many of our rhythms and coping mechanisms. Many have jumped into the post Covid with both feet and are feeling exhausted, overwhelmed and frustrated. Anxiety and depression has peaked and often times we don’t understand why. It shouldn’t be this way. Why am I feeling like this? God knows us better than we know ourselves and He sees our struggles. That is why He says…COME! “COME to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and i will give you rest.” (Matthew 11:28) “COME! Whoever is thirsty, let…

Posted in: anxiety, anxious, Balancing life, becoming, care, Christ in us, Come to Jesus, Covid-19, disappointments, extrovert, fresh joy, frustrations, happy heart, introvert, Jesus, new normal, rhythm, troubled hearts

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When Weariness Sets In-by Heidi McLaughlin

Posted: May 15, 2022

An article on weariness is what brought me to tears. Whoa…what brought on those tears? I don’t think I feel weary why did this impact me so profoundly? I realized this article hit a trigger and I recognized my spirit was weary. Anyone knowing me would quickly respond by: “Well Heidi, you have too much on your plate, you’re always on the move, no wonder weariness has set in.” But that’s not it. My personality and passions do propel me to add many wonderful things to my calendar, but this is not a physical weariness. But this is not a physical weariness. For two years we’ve hung on by our fingernails waiting for Covid to be over. And yes for the most part we’re back to normal but there is underlying and lingering angst and anger.  Too many of my friends are sick right now from Covid and stress.  Angry…

Posted in: anxiety, ask God, circumstances, Conflict, Covid-19, cry, disappointments, do the right thing, don't give up, Encouragement, focus, God's creation, Hearing God, hiking, listen, Making Wise Choices, Overcoming Struggles, re-evaluate, resilience, rest, tender soul care, weariness

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SIGHTS AND SIGHS-by Heidi McLaughlin

Posted: January 9, 2022

Apparently I sigh a lot. My daughter Michelle informed me of this as I huddled over a very difficult 1000 piece COKE puzzle during the Christmas holidays.  Of course I was sighing, this was a seemingly impossible task. But my sighing turned into joy when another piece found its place. Eventually, by asking for help and calling in the troops, the puzzle was completed and we cheered and clapped. I know puzzles are a frivolous example, but there are a lot of hardships to sigh about right now. Reading the heartbreaking news of over 1000 homes burnt to the ground in Colorado, the new Omicron variant, harsh winter where I live and tragedy everywhere. Just this week I’ve received news of two more dear people graduating into Heaven. So much sadness. So much sighing.  I love the comfort of the verses in Psalm 5:1 “Give ear to my words, O LORD,…

Posted in: adversity, anxiety, ask for help, ask God, breathing, disappointments, disasters, Expectations, feeling good, God's promises, grief, hurting world, mourn, Omicron, Overcoming Struggles, pray, Prayer, sighing, sighs, waiting

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Breaking Out-by Heidi McLaughlin

Posted: July 11, 2021

People are breaking out of their confined Covid spaces and it’s sheer, delicious craziness. My first international flight after a year and a half was a mixture of absolute delight and madness. When I flew to visit my daughter Michelle’s family at Easter, I was the only person going through security. This time, in the Kelowna airport the line-up for security went all the way back to Baggage Claim. Physical distancing at the Seattle airport was out of the window, and Starbucks line-ups made it impossible to grab a cup before the boarding gate closed. In the normal quiet, laid back mentally of Montana, the hidden jewel of the Northwest, we couldn’t get a dinner or National Park reservation. Coffee shop line-ups are out the door and kayak rentals are almost non-existent. All this to say that people are bursting out of their homes to once again experience all the…

Posted in: anxiety, boundaries, break free, Christ, Covid-19, Fear, Freedom, fresh joy, Friendship, isolation, live one day at a time, loneliness epidemic, momentary trouble, nature, Overcoming Fear, physical distancing, recapture your joy, trouble

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Hugs Do More Than BringJoy-by Heidi McLaughlin

Posted: November 22, 2020

I had not had a hug or human touch for almost two months. It was now the middle of May 2020 in the thrust of Covid when I agreed to meet up with a friend to do some volunteer work. As I got out of my car, my friend walked toward me, looked around to make sure no one was watching and gave me a big hug. Not realizing how deprived I was for human touch-I hung on and cried. We are made for human connection.  Covid is disconnecting us in ways that are emotionally and spiritually harmful. Physical distancing is also causing relationship break-ups, family neglect and pain and for those who live alone-loneliness and horror. I know we need to be wise and follow the rules of our country, but somehow, we have to find ways to reach out and hug. A month ago I met another friend…

Posted in: all alone, anxiety, cortisol, Covid-19, Families, Friendship, hugs, loneliness, one-another, oxytocin, physical distancing, social distancing, we need each other

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Covid-19 Will Not Wreck Me-by Heidi McLaughlin

Posted: April 19, 2020

In the last month Amazon has run out of bread makers, we’ve pulled puzzles out of our closets and even stopped scoffing at paint by number projects. In my own family my granddaughter has taken to painting rocks, we’re learning German, canning pickles and there’s heated bread-baking competitions. During this harshly imposed isolation I am left to live alone.  I’m an extrovert and I love being involved with people and events, and within a week all my speaking and travelling events were cancelled.  My calendar was wiped clean.  After gasping for air and realizing none of this was a joke I made a deliberate choice. This Covid-19 would not wreck me. First, I had to settle some truth and facts. In our family when there is an unexpected or unpleasant turn of events we use this phrase, “accept and allow.” To “accept” the Covid situation I had to be real…

Posted in: accept and allow, adversity, all alone, alone, anxiety, ask for help, be creative, Christ, companionship, Covid-19, crisis, decisions, Encouragement, Expectations, Faith, Families, Finding Truth, friends, heart of God, homes, isolation, Jesus, loneliness, love, make your bed, Making Wise Choices, Overcoming Struggles, temporary, trouble, trust, trust Good, we need each other

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