Blog: we need each other

ALONE ON MOTHERS DAY-by Heidi McLaughlin

Posted: May 10, 2024

I’m not telling you I’m alone on Mother’s Day to feel sorry for myself, or for you to take pity on me. I’m alone and that’s just a fact. None of my children, step-children or grandchildren live near me and sometimes that really wounds.  Mother’s Day is a big Hallmark moment with flowers and cards, and many women suffer silently knowing they are alone. This blog is for women who have to put on a brave face for Mother’s Day. “Above all else protect your heart”. (Proverbs 4:23)  Since my husband’s death I’ve had to learn how to get through these lonely Hallmark moments. I prepare ahead of time. I’ve already booked myself in as a single on a golf course, and I’m already looking forward to it. Why not do the same…not golf but perhaps lunch or a hike with a friend? Maybe your way of overcoming loneliness is…

Posted in: all alone, alone, companionship, empathy, Encouragement, grit, hiking, loneliness, loneliness epidemic, make time for each other, Mothers Day, our children, Overcoming Struggles, relationships, take care of your heart, we need each other

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HOW DO WE SPELL LOVE?-by Heidi McLaughlin

Posted: February 10, 2024

It’s the love month and I wonder how many of us are getting it right. I love what Rick Warren says in best selling book, “What on Earth Am I Here For?” He gets it right by quoting that the way to spell love is T.I.M.E. We can always earn more stuff, but we can never earn more time. One of life’s greatest regrets is: I wish I had spent more time with the people I love. Our restless nature craves to be understood, accepted and loved. But many have lost their way and are looking for fulfillment in all the wrong places. Here are 4 ways to recapture and recalibrate our precious time. T – TAKE TIME TO LOOK UP AND DIG DOWN It’s time to lay down our technology, look into each other’s eyes and engage in intimate, honest and meaningful conversations.  We must dig behind words and…

Posted in: Best friends, Boring marriage, Communication, companionship, expect the best, Expectations, Friendship, happiness, honesty, Intimacy, joy, love, make time for each other, Power of the Tongue, relationships, we need each other

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The Beauty of Hugs-by Heidi McLaughlin

Posted: December 10, 2023

It was May 2020 and three months had gone by without me receiving any human connection or a hug. The isolation of Covid did that to us. We were saving lives by locking ourselves up in our homes; so they said. Being single, an extrovert and someone who thrives on the companionship and joy of being with other people, I was slowly dying inside. It was the end of May and I agreed to meet my friend Joanne to remove rocks in preparation of a horse compound. We arrived together, got out of our cars, looked both ways  (to make sure nobody was watching us hug) and hugged like crazy. It felt so good and right, and tears flowed down my cheeks. Oh the power of a loving hug. When we’re thrown in jail for a crime we’ve committed, the biggest punishment is being put into solitary confinement. Society knows…

Posted in: alone, alone at Christmas, Christmas, companionship, Covid-19, failure to thrive, happiness needs to be shared, hugs, isolation, loneliness epidemic, power of hugs, singleness at Christmas, suffering, we need each other

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Be a “Lifter Upper” – by Heidi McLaughlin

Posted: September 17, 2023

Beware of the deadly 3 “D’s”. It starts with discouragement, catapults into despair and may end up in depression. Some how you’ve ventured into a dark cave and found there was no light to guide you out. Your aching body feels heavy and fatigued. Your mind is ruminating, you can’t focus and you keep chewing over the scene of your mess, failure, loss or disappointment. I know every one of you reading this has experienced at least one of the deadly “D’s”.  It’s a horrible place to be in, and we need to help one another getting out of our cave. That’s where you come in. We all need to take part in being God’s hands and feet on earth to lift up those going through one of the 3 “D’s”. If you are the one going through one of the “D”s right now, I pray that someone reading this…

Posted in: adversity, ask for help, ask God, be a blessing, caves, companionship, cover each other's backs, darkness, depression, despair, disappointment, don't give up, Encouragement, failures, faulty thinking, feeling bad, Finding Truth, Friendship, Making Wise Choices, one-another, Overcoming Struggles, power of words, Prayer, rescue, seasons of darkness, self worth, show up, we need each other

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ACCOMPLISHMENTS-by Heidi McLaughlin

Posted: June 12, 2023

It’s true. As we get older we accumulate more experience and wisdom and see life through different lenses. Clearer insight comes after years of struggling, disappointments, victories, success and failures. We work so hard to get to that place of “we did it”. Everything we’ve worked for so hard has finally come to fruition. That should ultimately satisfy us. But there’s always more isn’t there? I’ll finally be happy when I pay off the mortgage, get my children into a good school, get that promotion at work, have a hefty retirement fund and the granite countertops. As an author and speaker it’s always about the next big speaking engagement, next book contract, next trip and writer’s conference. It’s about making the right connections, social media numbers and book sales. This has been my life for over 20 years and it’s been a super, exciting ride of hard work but also…

Posted in: accomplishments, accumulate experiences, achievements, Best friends, community, do the hard work, Families, homes, joy, our children, Pleasure, Prayer, thankful, we need each other

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Spiritual Friendships-by Heidi McLaughlin

Posted: February 12, 2023

We crave connections and knowing we belong.  The kinds of relationships that make us feel seen, heard and safe. Life refuses to be predictable and we all need spiritual friendships to help us navigate the crazy uncertainties of life these days.  Trustworthy and spiritual friendships lovingly share their wisdom and guide us into places we’ve never been before. But it takes more than just one friend. We all want that BFF that “gets us” and we hope they will complete us in all ways. My pastor, Scott Lanigan, last weekend made it very clear that no one on this planet can complete us fully. That’s God’s job and He loves to do it! So our spiritual friendships are here to be the hands and feet of Jesus to help us be better, stronger, wiser and more loving. But we can’t expect one friend to fulfill all those roles. You probably…

Posted in:  Ecclesiastes, a time for everything under the Heaven, adventure, ask for help, beauty and joy, Best friends, Bible Study, companionship, Encouragement, Friendship, girlfriends, God's love, happy heart, joy, Laughter, relationships, spiritual friendships, triple braided cord, we need each other

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Accumulate Experiences-by Heidi McLaughlin

Posted: November 7, 2021

Pumpkins are put away, and in Canada, the Christmas wreaths will soon be adorning the front doors. Quite frankly November is one of those in between, dreary months.  And with the oncoming time change it will soon be dark when we get up in the morning and dark while eating supper. One of my least favourite times of the year. The trees are almost bare, the vineyards have lost their colour and I can smell the oncoming snowflakes.  Not enticing for a fun loving, outdoor energetic person. f I’ve learned anything in the past 21 months it’s that life can evaporate without meaning if I don’t intentionally embrace it.  And with Covid still lurking and hovering in the sidelines, let’s spur each other on to ignore fear and NOT become “lazy-boy Christians.” I’ve decided I’d rather accumulate memories than accumulate more possessions. I’ve needed so little in the last 20…

Posted in: accumulate experiences, ask God, beauty and joy, don't be fools, Encouragement, fresh joy, Friendship, God's creation, hiking, joy, pray, we need each other

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Hugs Do More Than BringJoy-by Heidi McLaughlin

Posted: November 22, 2020

I had not had a hug or human touch for almost two months. It was now the middle of May 2020 in the thrust of Covid when I agreed to meet up with a friend to do some volunteer work. As I got out of my car, my friend walked toward me, looked around to make sure no one was watching and gave me a big hug. Not realizing how deprived I was for human touch-I hung on and cried. We are made for human connection.  Covid is disconnecting us in ways that are emotionally and spiritually harmful. Physical distancing is also causing relationship break-ups, family neglect and pain and for those who live alone-loneliness and horror. I know we need to be wise and follow the rules of our country, but somehow, we have to find ways to reach out and hug. A month ago I met another friend…

Posted in: all alone, anxiety, cortisol, Covid-19, Families, Friendship, hugs, loneliness, one-another, oxytocin, physical distancing, social distancing, we need each other

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Covid-19 Will Not Wreck Me-by Heidi McLaughlin

Posted: April 19, 2020

In the last month Amazon has run out of bread makers, we’ve pulled puzzles out of our closets and even stopped scoffing at paint by number projects. In my own family my granddaughter has taken to painting rocks, we’re learning German, canning pickles and there’s heated bread-baking competitions. During this harshly imposed isolation I am left to live alone.  I’m an extrovert and I love being involved with people and events, and within a week all my speaking and travelling events were cancelled.  My calendar was wiped clean.  After gasping for air and realizing none of this was a joke I made a deliberate choice. This Covid-19 would not wreck me. First, I had to settle some truth and facts. In our family when there is an unexpected or unpleasant turn of events we use this phrase, “accept and allow.” To “accept” the Covid situation I had to be real…

Posted in: accept and allow, adversity, all alone, alone, anxiety, ask for help, be creative, Christ, companionship, Covid-19, crisis, decisions, Encouragement, Expectations, Faith, Families, Finding Truth, friends, heart of God, homes, isolation, Jesus, loneliness, love, make your bed, Making Wise Choices, Overcoming Struggles, temporary, trouble, trust, trust Good, we need each other

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We Need Each Other-by Heidi McLaughlin

Posted: February 9, 2020

Twice in this last week I’ve needed help and was gutsy enough to ask for it. One big “ask” was for gift items for a Boys Home in Colombia. I am part of a huge Women’s ministry in my beloved church in Kelowna, British Columbia and I bravely asked for help. I asked for gifts of LEGO, soccer balls, games and puzzles that I could take with me on my upcoming trip to visit three cities in Colombia. I was overwhelmed with the outpouring of love and generosity of the women to lavish elaborate gifts on boys they’ve never met. My second big ask was on Facebook. I need help with the subtitle for my new book called IRRESISTIBLE JOY launching October 10, 2020. The subtitle of any book is a vital piece for the reader to know what’s actually inside the book. So I posted three sub-title options on…

Posted in: alone, ask for help, blessings, Colombia, Encouragement, Friendship, isolation, joy, Kindness, loneliness, needs, thankful, we need each other

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