Blog: Forgiveness

UNLEASHING THE K.I.S.S. MARRIAGE- “Checkin In”

Posted: August 8, 2011

Dentists remind us of our checks ups so that we don’t get rotten teeth; we go to the doctor so that he can find diseases before they kill us, and girls; we need to have regular mammograms. If we don’t schedule these assessments, one day we may find our bodies in need of serious medical care. It’s no different with our cars or pets; so why would we overlook the most valuable part of our lives on this planet…our husbands? I did a check-in with my husband on our vineyard walk this week, and realized we had been missing a fun component that got lost in the distractions and demands of life; our trips to Seattle for the Washington Huskies football games.  As soon as I mentioned this forgotten dream, his face lit up like a socket; and the minute we walked in the door of our home he got…

Posted in: Balancing life, Beauty from the Inside Out, Beauty Unleashed, Communication, Encouragement, Expectations, Finding Truth, Forgiveness, Freedom from Busyness, Friendship, Good Marriage, Hope, Intimacy, Kindness, Making Wise Choices, Overcoming Struggles, Tension, Understanding each other, Valued

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UNLEASHING THE K.I.S.S. MARRIAGE- “Playing Second Fiddle”

Posted: July 30, 2011

I learn everything the hard way and this time is was from burning baby back ribs.  My intentions were honorable, but it ended up all wrong.  I made a huge batch of baby back ribs; one serving for neighbors that were going through a difficult family circumstance, and one portion for our family. The ribs had cooked too long and so the outside sections were burned. I separated the ribs; the burnt ones for our family, and the succulent, perfect ribs for our neighbors. My husband Dick watched me separate the ribs and with a hurt, horrified look on his face, he quietly commented, “So we get the burnt ones?” My self-righteous, good neighborly reply was, “Yup!” I thought I was doing a good, Godly, neighborly act of love, but in the meantime I destroyed my husband and family’s valuable place in my life.  I realized I had placed more significance…

Posted in: Balancing life, Beauty from the Inside Out, Encouragement, Expectations, Finding Truth, Forgiveness, Friendship, Good Marriage, Intimacy, Kindness, Life of Jesus, Making Wise Choices, Pain Pleasure, Resentment, Understanding each other, Valued

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UNLEASHING THE K.I.S.S. MARRIAGE- “The Female Wikipedia”

Posted: July 20, 2011

I have also been doing the radical 30 day “hands off” challenge and at least twice I have failed miserably. No doubt about it; it’s a tough one especially if we are trying to break established patterns and bad habits.  Throw in some jet lag, heat, writing deadlines, a house full of company and fatigue, and those are deadly ingredients for caving in and throwing away all good intentions. I always say that fatigue makes cowards out of us and makes us want to give up, but tomorrow is a new day and we have the blessings of a new beginning. So don’t give up. Amongst all of the summer activity I have become acutely aware (again) how most women are the family Wikipedia; a wealth of knowledge for activities, social functions, grocery lists, birthdays, gift buying and having answers for continuous questions.  Here is how I see it. Imagine…

Posted in: Balancing life, Beauty from the Inside Out, Beauty Unleashed, Encouragement, Expectations, Finding Truth, Forgiveness, Good Marriage, Intimacy

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UNLEASHING THE K.I.S.S. MARRIAGE – “Hands Off”

Posted: July 2, 2011

I’m going to give you a radical challenge that just may change the dynamics of your marriage. For the next 30 days, let’s agree to do this: “Hands off” your spouse. Here are some examples of what I mean. If your husband forgot to put out the garbage, don’t berate him. Let it go and take it out yourself.  You may say something like this, “Honey, I saw that you forgot to put out the garbage, but don’t fret; I took it out for you.” Your husband is watching sports but he should be helping you bathe the children or clean up the kitchen. Remember I said radical!  Go over to him and say, “Sweetheart, I am more than happy to clean up the kitchen myself and bathe the children. You enjoy your football game. By the way, can I bring you a cold drink?” Don’t manipulate him to come…

Posted in: Balancing life, Beauty through Boldness, Communication, Encouragement, Finding Truth, Forgiveness, Good Marriage, Hope, Intimacy, Kindness, Life of Jesus, Making Wise Choices, Overcoming Struggles, Pain Pleasure, Resentment, Uncategorized, Understanding each other, Valued

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UNLEASHING THE K.I.S.S. MARRIAGE-“Cutting down the Male Species”

Posted: June 25, 2011

This was one of the most bizarre stories I ever heard. My son-in-law Tim was telling me how he grows hybrid canola. This is what he told me, “Hybrid canola is grown in rows with the ‘females’ in one row, and the ‘males’ in adjacent rows.  Then they import honey bees and leafcutter bees to pollinate the canola.  After pollination is complete, the ‘male’ rows are mowed out, since they do not produce the desired type of seed.”  This seems to be the sequence of events in many marriages. Man and woman fall in love, they pollinate (have babies) and once the male is no longer useful, he is being mowed down. I don’t believe I am being to brazen by saying this so bluntly, because I have heard women “mowing down men” in various, cutting ways. Once men no longer meet our expectations, we can cut them down by…

Posted in: Balancing life, Beauty from the Inside Out, Communication, Encouragement, Expectations, Finding Truth, Forgiveness, Good Marriage, Intimacy, Kindness, Making Wise Choices, Pain Pleasure, Resentment, Understanding each other, Valued

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UNLEASHING THE K.I.S.S. MARRIAGE-Pay Attention to the Tension

Posted: June 10, 2011

Tension in a marriage can be good. But by the time some people finish reading this blog about tension they may be shouting, “Get rid of the jerk, he/she’s not worth it.” Apparently they were worth it at one time; the day you were both all dressed up in your finest attire, surrounded by family and friends and declaring your love for each other for the “rest of your lives.”  Our modern day lifestyle plays havoc with our marriages; especially during the years where we are cultivating our careers, nurturing our children, trying to stay in the black in our bank accounts and carving out some fun recreational activities. I believe that much of the tension arises by both spouses feeling exhausted, overwhelmed, frustrated and then angry. Instead of throwing in the towel and saying, “I don’t love you anymore, and I’m leaving”…see the tension as a golden opportunity for…

Posted in: Balancing life, Beauty from the Inside Out, Beauty through Boldness, Communication, Expectations, Finding Truth, Forgiveness, Good Marriage, Intimacy, Kindness, Overcoming Struggles, Overwhelmed and Undervalued, Tension, Uncategorized, Understanding each other, Valued

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UNLEASHING THE K.I.S.S. MARRIAGE – Expectations

Posted: June 4, 2011

 Every one of us is a minefield full of treasures. Most of those minefields are pain, frustration, disappointment, bitterness and anger because of unmet expectations. So how does that turn into a treasure?  Follow me along on a treasure hunt. To do that I need to tell you a little story.  There was a man who ran across American, coast to coast. When he completed this arduous, compelling and harsh task, he was met by the news media, with TV cameras and microphones being shoved into his face. The reporters asked him, “What was the hardest part of this year long trek? Was it the heat in the summer? Was it the fatigue? Was it the loneliness? Was it the relentless distance?” The runner replied without any hesitation, “No, it was the sand in my shoes.”  Ok what does that have to do with expectations?  Everything! When we have expectations,…

Posted in: Balancing life, Beauty from the Inside Out, Beauty through Boldness, Beauty Unleashed, Communication, Encouragement, Expectations, Fear, Finding Truth, Forgiveness, Friendship, Good Marriage, Hope, Intimacy, Kindness, Life of Jesus, Making Wise Choices, Pain Pleasure, Resentment

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UNLEASHING THE K.I.S.S. MARRIAGE-The Deceptive Gucci Luggage

Posted: May 24, 2011

“Have you left your luggage unattended at any time?” This is one of the questions the girl at the airline check-in counter asks before she allows me to plunk my luggage onto her conveyer belt.  I know this simple, ridiculous question is for my safety; to protect me from terrorism or any other harm.   Yet so many of us, before we say our “I do’s” and get ready to fly into our marriage; don’t ask each other that straightforward, life saving question.  We arrive at the marriage alter dragging our gorgeous, deceptive Gucci luggage which holds all of our garbage and secrets. There probably has not been any reason to unzip the baggage; after all you have both been in a magical, endorphin induced courtship. Now the day to day routine of life begins with its challenges and obstacles, and before you know it you are pulling the luggage zipper…

Posted in: Balancing life, Beauty from the Inside Out, Beauty Unleashed, Communication, Encouragement, Expectations, False Belief Systems, Finding Truth, Forgiveness, Friendship, Good Marriage, Hope, Intimacy, Making Wise Choices, Pain Pleasure, Resentment, Understanding each other

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UNLEASHING THE K.I.S.S. MARRIAGE – “Think Again”

Posted: May 6, 2011

For over twenty-five years I have been the only woman in the Boardroom and in Manager’s Meetings.  You would think that by now I would know how to phrase my questions and conversations so that I can engage men in productive and meaningful conversations. Think again. Apparently not;I am constantly learning. This week my question was, “Hey guys, I need to order a cake for the Retirement Party; should we get fancy or funny?” They looked at me as though I was Neanderthal woman, turned away from me and broke into animated conversation with each other about the hockey play-offs. That ended the conversation. If the majority of men are interested in talking about cakes; think again. In all my blogs about marriage, please know there is always a disclaimer. Keep in mind that I am writing about men in general. There are certain men that if you asked them…

Posted in: Beauty through Boldness, Encouragement, Expectations, Expectations, Finding Truth, Forgiveness, Good Marriage, Hope, Intimacy, Kindness, Making Wise Choices, Overcoming Struggles, Pain Pleasure, Resentment, Uncategorized, Understanding each other

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BEAUTY TIP #38 – CHOOSE…and Your Feelings Will Follow

Posted: March 26, 2011

We are obsessed with knowledge.  Then why, to recapture an old phrase, are we “going to hell in a hand basket?” I won’t list all the statistics and atrocities; but you know from your own area of influence what I’m talking about. We seem to be getting smarter but yet insensible. The answer is really quite simple. Knowledge without action = zero.  When we come to an intersection in life that begs action, simply knowing the right answer but not doing anything about it perpetuates more pain, rejection, disappointment, anger, and resentment. As Albert Einstein said, “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.” You can talk about writing a book year after year, but if you don’t hit the SEND button on your computer, you will never know if you will be a published author. You can speak endlessly about being a better mother,…

Posted in: Beauty through Boldness, Encouragement, Fear, Finding Truth, Forgiveness, Friendship, Hope, Making Wise Choices, Overcoming Struggles, Resentment

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