Blog
Posted: June 10, 2024
We want to be nice girls so we stuff our feelings, paste on a plastic smile and carry on. Inwardly the heart churns and toxic fumes accumulate as we drink our own poison hoping the other person will die. Resentment is the number one killer of relationships, especially marriages. I consider myself an expert on this topic as I learned how to recognize and survive this toxic crisis in my first marriage. I recall how each time I felt resentment, I wanted to pick up a rock and throw it toward my enemy. But because I tried to have harmony in the home I hid the rock (my anger) and put it into a pretty little imaginary box where it would be nice and safe. I was clueless about the dangers of ultimate explosions. I did not know that resentment was: Feeling heartbroken after exerting a great deal of effort…
Posted in: accusations, adversity, angry, Anticipation, anxiety, ask God, Assumptions, betrayal, confront conflict, disappointments, do the hard work, don't give up, Expectations, faulty thinking, Finding Truth, forgive one another, frustrations, grit, healing, honest, Hope, messes, Offenses, Overcoming Struggles, power of words, relationships, Resentment, set free, shame, take care of your heart, Tension, trouble, Understanding each other, worry
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Posted: May 10, 2024
I’m not telling you I’m alone on Mother’s Day to feel sorry for myself, or for you to take pity on me. I’m alone and that’s just a fact. None of my children, step-children or grandchildren live near me and sometimes that really wounds. Mother’s Day is a big Hallmark moment with flowers and cards, and many women suffer silently knowing they are alone. This blog is for women who have to put on a brave face for Mother’s Day. “Above all else protect your heart”. (Proverbs 4:23) Since my husband’s death I’ve had to learn how to get through these lonely Hallmark moments. I prepare ahead of time. I’ve already booked myself in as a single on a golf course, and I’m already looking forward to it. Why not do the same…not golf but perhaps lunch or a hike with a friend? Maybe your way of overcoming loneliness is…
Posted in: all alone, alone, companionship, empathy, Encouragement, grit, hiking, loneliness, loneliness epidemic, make time for each other, Mothers Day, our children, Overcoming Struggles, relationships, take care of your heart, we need each other
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Posted: April 1, 2024
With the world swirling in chaos all around us we need something real and meaningful to hold onto. Something that really works. Before someone dies they have no reason to hold back words of love and wisdom. After all the heard earned wisdom they’ve gleaned in this life, now is the time to say what really works and matters. Before Jesus went to the cross to die for our sins He gave us a priceless gift: “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you: (John 14:27). “My peace I give you.” After Jesus’ resurrection and when He met his disciples behind locked doors, He frightened and startled them, thinking He was a ghost. The first words to them out of Jesus’ mouth were: “Peace be with you” (Luke 24:26). There it is again, the gift of peace. That gives me goose bumps, Why is peace such a powerful…
Posted in: anxiety, ask God, chaos, Christ in us, Finding Truth, gift of peace, Overcoming Struggles, pain, Peace, Prayer, priceless gift of peace, take care of your heart, troubles, worry
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Posted: February 10, 2024
It’s the love month and I wonder how many of us are getting it right. I love what Rick Warren says in best selling book, “What on Earth Am I Here For?” He gets it right by quoting that the way to spell love is T.I.M.E. We can always earn more stuff, but we can never earn more time. One of life’s greatest regrets is: I wish I had spent more time with the people I love. Our restless nature craves to be understood, accepted and loved. But many have lost their way and are looking for fulfillment in all the wrong places. Here are 4 ways to recapture and recalibrate our precious time. T – TAKE TIME TO LOOK UP AND DIG DOWN It’s time to lay down our technology, look into each other’s eyes and engage in intimate, honest and meaningful conversations. We must dig behind words and…
Posted in: Best friends, Boring marriage, Communication, companionship, expect the best, Expectations, Friendship, happiness, honesty, Intimacy, joy, love, make time for each other, Power of the Tongue, relationships, we need each other
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Posted: January 12, 2024
Over Christmas I fed my body a little too much and it grew. You know what I’m saying. Maybe yours did too? Because what we feed grows. When we water and feed our houseplants, they grow rich and beautiful. When we feed our children they grow up to be big beautiful human beings. What we feed grows. So we have to ask ourselves, “What I am feeding?” I have to be honest; there are hard days with big problems that I can’t solve. As a result I feed self-pity. There are times when I look at my circumstances and I feel like I might drown. What do I feed? Self-defeat, I’m not smart enough to solve my problems. Sometimes I feel like somebody is disappointed in me and doesn’t like me. Maybe I’ve done something wrong. What do I feed? I feed unworthiness. I’m not good enough, not likeable. So what do…
Posted in: beauty and joy, beauty in God's creation, desires, disappointments, Eat God's word, empty soul, feeling good, God's creation, God's promises are true, happy heart, Heavenly Father, Making Wise Choices, Overcoming Struggles, pity, presence of God, rest, self-defeat, take care of your heart, thankful, transformation, unlovable, What we feed grows
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Posted: December 10, 2023
It was May 2020 and three months had gone by without me receiving any human connection or a hug. The isolation of Covid did that to us. We were saving lives by locking ourselves up in our homes; so they said. Being single, an extrovert and someone who thrives on the companionship and joy of being with other people, I was slowly dying inside. It was the end of May and I agreed to meet my friend Joanne to remove rocks in preparation of a horse compound. We arrived together, got out of our cars, looked both ways (to make sure nobody was watching us hug) and hugged like crazy. It felt so good and right, and tears flowed down my cheeks. Oh the power of a loving hug. When we’re thrown in jail for a crime we’ve committed, the biggest punishment is being put into solitary confinement. Society knows…
Posted in: alone, alone at Christmas, Christmas, companionship, Covid-19, failure to thrive, happiness needs to be shared, hugs, isolation, loneliness epidemic, power of hugs, singleness at Christmas, suffering, we need each other
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Posted: November 9, 2023
It feels like we’ve lost trust the last few years. Trust in our relationships, workplaces and churches. Because I’m a curious person I’ve felt this for some time and it was affirmed to me in the last Global Leadership Summit in October of this year. Craig Groeschel, pastor of Life Church hit it out of the park with his opening keynote session on trust. It gripped my heart as he affirmed what I’ve been feeling for some time. The loss of trust. I think most of who listened to this nodded as well. He said that to rebuild trust we need: transparency + empathy + consistency=trust. Wow that hit me. Over the past few years it seems we’ve split into camps through Covid, politics, the state of the world and our daily interactions. I think one thing missing out of that formula is TIME. We need to make time to…
Posted in: adversity, ask question s, ask questions, authentic, betrayal, Communication, companionship, confront conflict, consistency, Differences, empathy, Expectations, Friendship, honesty, Listening, trust, Understanding each other, unity, vulnerable, walk in my shoes
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Posted: October 7, 2023
When a word keeps showing up I believe God is trying to teach me something. That’s part of the enchantment. Today I was intentional about practicing enchantment. Here’s what is looked like. On my 5 km walk I decided to put away my phone and NOT listen to any sermons or podcasts, I chose to let God enchant me. Let me explain. Today before Canadian Thanksgiving 2023, the day is showing off its glory. It’s 22 degrees Celsius, no clouds in the sky, the trees and foliage are golden yellow and orange and from just the angle the lake is a sparkling diamond. With every step I soak in the extravagant beauty and at times almost overcome with tears. Walking up towards the Mission Hill Winery I encounter 2 beautiful young women who are awkwardly trying to take a selfie. I offer to take their picture, and then have a…
Posted in: ask God, Awe of God', be creative, beauty, beauty and joy, beauty in God's creation, enchantment, glimpse of Heaven, glory of God, God's creation, majesty of God, nature, practice enchantment, presence of God, thanksgiving
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Posted: September 17, 2023
Beware of the deadly 3 “D’s”. It starts with discouragement, catapults into despair and may end up in depression. Some how you’ve ventured into a dark cave and found there was no light to guide you out. Your aching body feels heavy and fatigued. Your mind is ruminating, you can’t focus and you keep chewing over the scene of your mess, failure, loss or disappointment. I know every one of you reading this has experienced at least one of the deadly “D’s”. It’s a horrible place to be in, and we need to help one another getting out of our cave. That’s where you come in. We all need to take part in being God’s hands and feet on earth to lift up those going through one of the 3 “D’s”. If you are the one going through one of the “D”s right now, I pray that someone reading this…
Posted in: adversity, ask for help, ask God, be a blessing, caves, companionship, cover each other's backs, darkness, depression, despair, disappointment, don't give up, Encouragement, failures, faulty thinking, feeling bad, Finding Truth, Friendship, Making Wise Choices, one-another, Overcoming Struggles, power of words, Prayer, rescue, seasons of darkness, self worth, show up, we need each other
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Posted: August 21, 2023
If you knew you only had thirty days to live, what is one thing in your life that you would stop right now?” This provoking question started a lively discussion amongst my group of friends. After much animated banter, one main theme came into focus; stop the life-sucking “shoulds”out of our daily activities. We agreed that many of us cave into guilt-induced obligations. We are afraid that we will disappoint people or they might not like us. The discussion became livelier as we tried to determine the obligations we needed to let go so that we could enjoy the vibrant, fulfilling life that Jesus came to model for us. There is one prevailing statement I hear these days: “I am so tired!”It is a proven statistic that today we sleep 1-1/2 hours less that we did one hundred years ago.[i] More motor vehicle accidents are being reported because both men…
Posted in: anxiety, ask for help, ask God, chaos, Conflict, each day has enough troubles of its own, Encouragement, Expectations, Freedom from Busyness, frustrations, grace, live one day at a time, Making Wise Choices, Overcoming Struggles, perfectionism, re-evaluate, Say no, should, trust God for today
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