Don’t You Care? – by Heidi McLaughlin
Posted: February 9, 2026
Blog: Overcoming Struggles
When Life Suddenly Shatters-Heidi McLaughlin
Posted: October 30, 2025
When a beloved spouse dies suddenly, the world stops in an instant. One moment life is full of laughter, anticipation, conversation and plans for the day. The next moment everything shatters. Everything feels unfamiliar. People are talking but nothing makes sense. There is the noise of ambulances, paramedics, machines and tension-filled voices. But in my mind, everything has stopped and I am in my own world of silence. Something has just happened where I know life will never be the same again. This is what happened to both of my beloved husbands. The next morning you wake up and are faced with a life you never wanted. People ask me which is harder. When someone dies slowly through cancer or a long-term illness, or the sudden death where they are gone in seconds? They are both the hardest things we will ever go through, but they are different. Sudden death…
Smells, Sights and Sounds of Grief-by Heidi McLaughlin
Posted: July 7, 2025
An emotional lightning bolt hit me on the golf course. I saw the backside of a man about Jack’s age, wearing a Puma golf hat, with black golf shorts and a blue shirt. That’s exactly what Jack always wore. My heart started to pound; I stopped and couldn’t take my eyes off him. I’m not crazy. Of course I knew it wasn’t Jack. My brain knows Jack died a long time ago. But our grief saturated minds can play powerful tricks on our feelings. The desire to see our loved ones again is so powerful, our hearts become irrational with that deep longing. We’re not crazy we’re just sad. Some smells and sounds trigger emotional responses that are quite shocking. Jack and I had a favorite restaurant which is quite expensive, so we went there only on special occasions. Months after Jack died a family member (who didn’t now it…
The Unpredictability of Grief-by Heidi McLaughlin
Posted: June 3, 2025
I often hear grieving people say: “No one ever told me it would be like this. One moment you feel composed, like you may be able to handle it. The next, a smell, song or the name of a restaurant strikes like lightening.” There is no logic to grief. Nogrie timeline, seven steps or neat stages to follow to get you through the most painful journey you will ever take. I call it the grief monster. It has different colours, voices and moods. It’s like a cycle that loops, jumps, surprises and shifts. Grief is a monster that comes out of nowhere. I believe that is why people shy away from us because they don’t know what to do with us or what to say. It seems all wrong. Of course people want to support us but most often words fall short and well-meaning cliches, Bible verses or quotes feel…
Grief is a Lonely Road-by Heidi McLaughlin
Posted: May 1, 2025
Never in my lifetime have I seen the faces of so much grief and loss. Not just death, but the loss of divorce, miscarriages, home, business, a child on drugs or in prison, a medical diagnosis, the loss of a hope or dream or even your church or country. When I speak to an audience ask them about their losses. Their answers rock my soul. Most people in grief feel unheard and walk alone.. For the next year I will write about grief and losses with the goal to always bring you to hope. We are not meant to grieve alone. The Bible tells us to: “Mourn with those who mourn” (Romans 12:15). Mourn with those who mourn. I thought my lonely and misunderstood personal struggle of grief was mine to bear…alone. In January of 2023 I posted a Facebook meme that said: “Grief is the loneliest road you’ll ever…
Courage to be Encouraging-by Heidi McLaughlin
Posted: April 7, 2025
Consider this. Your three-year-old son is working up courage to ride his two-wheeler. You’re holding onto him and also running behind him to “encourage” him to have the courage. These two words are deeply interconnected, and each playing a vital role in helping each other to overcome challenges, grow and flourish. Courage is the inner strength that pushes us to step into our fear, uncertainly or discomfort and take risks. Courage often needs an external supportive force. This is where God, you and I come in. The Bible tells us in many places to “encourage one another.” It says: “Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just in fact you are doing” (1 Thessalonians 5:11). Like gigantic trees whose roots intertwine and hold each other up, we are created in Christ to play that same role. Our courage first comes from God and the Holy Spirit that lives…
FINDING REST IN 2025-By Heidi McLaughlin
Posted: January 13, 2025
People seem tired. Overwhelmed. Don’t know how to fix it. This generation has more conveniences and shot-cuts than any other portion of history, so why are we so weary? Around 2005 when the Internet revolutionized the world we became global stalkers with 24/7 access and information. Don’t even get me started on what technology has done to our lives. Let’s move toward solutions. Firstly, ask yourself what kind of rest you need. Do you need physical rest that craves more sleep, naps, sitting and doing nothing? Do you need social rest that demands freedom from the onslaught of screen times and dopamine stimulation? Do you struggle with FOMO (fear of missing out) and need a break from social activities? Do you need to take a break from your daily demands and lean into something that will stimulate your creative energy? To discover what kind of rest you need I highly…
Everything in Life is Temporary-by Heidi McLaughlin
Posted: September 8, 2024
The single mom and I sat on the beach in our chairs, with our feet dangling in the warm lake water. The setting was glorious but the conversation was hard and I knew my friend needed some practical advice. As I listened and prayed (in my mind while she was speaking) I asked God to give me some words to give her hope. Immediately I remembered the five simple words that helped me through my darkest journey. Everything in life is temporary. As soon as I said these words her shoulders relaxed and I could see peace invade her heart. When we’re in the middle of suffering everything feels dark and hopeless and often we can’t see how that will ever change. We feel lost, alone and weak. Often times we feel stuck. Our difficult circumstances overwhelm us and darkness is all we can see. It drains the life and…
DISAPPOINTMENTS-by Heidi McLaughlin
Posted: August 4, 2024
Disappointments are part of every day life. We didn’t get that parking spot, the food didn’t match up to the price, and your flight was delayed or cancelled. The new outfit doesn’t look as great as you thought and the summer company you were excited about ended up causing chaos. Often we glibly say: “We need to just get over it.” But disappointments can leave us mildly irritated or they can crush our soul. Because there are disappointments that are life changing. They may not be a death but it actually feels like it. The Doctor told you it was multiple myeloma or brain tumour, you find out your grandchild is addicted to drugs or gambling, you discover your business is going bankrupt and you will lose the house you love. Your spouse tells you he/she don’t love you anymore. Those disappointments are like a death. I’ve talked to many…
THE RESENTMENT BOX-by Heidi McLaughlin
Posted: June 10, 2024
We want to be nice girls so we stuff our feelings, paste on a plastic smile and carry on. Inwardly the heart churns and toxic fumes accumulate as we drink our own poison hoping the other person will die. Resentment is the number one killer of relationships, especially marriages. I consider myself an expert on this topic as I learned how to recognize and survive this toxic crisis in my first marriage. I recall how each time I felt resentment, I wanted to pick up a rock and throw it toward my enemy. But because I tried to have harmony in the home I hid the rock (my anger) and put it into a pretty little imaginary box where it would be nice and safe. I was clueless about the dangers of ultimate explosions. I did not know that resentment was: Feeling heartbroken after exerting a great deal of effort…
