Blog: cry
Posted: August 8, 2025
One of my simple pleasures is walking in the rain. Without hat, umbrella or rain proof coat; rain running down my face and soaking my body. Especially in the summer when the sun makes the rain sweet and warm. It refreshes and it feels like I’ve been washed from the inside out. But I lost that simple pleasure when grief knocked me flat on my face, broken and unable to get up on my own. I lost almost all my simple pleasures. Reading, enjoying a long sleep-in, a fresh cup of coffee, decorating my home and writing. When I looked in the mirror my eyes were no longer a bright blue, they turned grey. Every day was simply survival. I just wanted it to stop. While going through intense grief it feels like it will last forever. From our self-imposed inner reality we believe this is our new normal and…
Posted in: ask God, barefoot in the rain, beauty and pain coexist, beauty in God's creation, blessings, care, cry, darkness, death, despair, disappointments, empty soul, feeling bad, find the simple joys, gloomy days, God's creation, God's promises are true, goodness of God, grief changes us, grief is lonely, grief is temporary, grief is unpredictable, Hope, live one day at a time, mourn, new normal, scars are beautiful, scars are breautiful, scars heal, scars help us to remember, seasons of darkness, second chances, Simple, suffering, time doesn't heal, Uncategorized
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Posted: July 7, 2025
An emotional lightning bolt hit me on the golf course. I saw the backside of a man about Jack’s age, wearing a Puma golf hat, with black golf shorts and a blue shirt. That’s exactly what Jack always wore. My heart started to pound; I stopped and couldn’t take my eyes off him. I’m not crazy. Of course I knew it wasn’t Jack. My brain knows Jack died a long time ago. But our grief saturated minds can play powerful tricks on our feelings. The desire to see our loved ones again is so powerful, our hearts become irrational with that deep longing. We’re not crazy we’re just sad. Some smells and sounds trigger emotional responses that are quite shocking. Jack and I had a favorite restaurant which is quite expensive, so we went there only on special occasions. Months after Jack died a family member (who didn’t now it…
Posted in: alone, ask God, breathing, brokenness, circumstances, cry, darkness, death, despair, disappointments, emotional recovery, emotional triggers, empathy, Encouragement, feeling bad, grief affects the brain, grief changes us, grief is lonely, grief is misunderstood, grief is unpredictable, Hope, live one day at a time, Making Wise Choices, Overcoming Struggles, refining process, seasons of darkness, Self-compassion, special kind of love, suffering, take care of your heart, time doesn't heal, trauma, we need each other
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Posted: June 3, 2025
I often hear grieving people say: “No one ever told me it would be like this. One moment you feel composed, like you may be able to handle it. The next, a smell, song or the name of a restaurant strikes like lightening.” There is no logic to grief. Nogrie timeline, seven steps or neat stages to follow to get you through the most painful journey you will ever take. I call it the grief monster. It has different colours, voices and moods. It’s like a cycle that loops, jumps, surprises and shifts. Grief is a monster that comes out of nowhere. I believe that is why people shy away from us because they don’t know what to do with us or what to say. It seems all wrong. Of course people want to support us but most often words fall short and well-meaning cliches, Bible verses or quotes feel…
Posted in: adversity, alone, anxiety, brokenness, cry, darkness, disappointments, good shepherd, grief, grief affects the brain, grief changes us, grief is lonely, grief is misunderstood, grief is unpredictable, Hope, hurting world, loneliness, Overcoming Struggles, relationships, resilience, seasons of darkness, suffering
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Posted: August 4, 2024
Disappointments are part of every day life. We didn’t get that parking spot, the food didn’t match up to the price, and your flight was delayed or cancelled. The new outfit doesn’t look as great as you thought and the summer company you were excited about ended up causing chaos. Often we glibly say: “We need to just get over it.” But disappointments can leave us mildly irritated or they can crush our soul. Because there are disappointments that are life changing. They may not be a death but it actually feels like it. The Doctor told you it was multiple myeloma or brain tumour, you find out your grandchild is addicted to drugs or gambling, you discover your business is going bankrupt and you will lose the house you love. Your spouse tells you he/she don’t love you anymore. Those disappointments are like a death. I’ve talked to many…
Posted in: anxiety, chaos, crisis, cry, darkness, death, decisions, depression, despair, disappointments, empathy, empty soul, Expectations, feeling bad, Finding Truth, focus, friends, grief, lamenting, listen, mourn, Overcoming Struggles, relationships, seasons of darkness, sympathy, thankful, trouble, weeping
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Posted: May 15, 2022
An article on weariness is what brought me to tears. Whoa…what brought on those tears? I don’t think I feel weary why did this impact me so profoundly? I realized this article hit a trigger and I recognized my spirit was weary. Anyone knowing me would quickly respond by: “Well Heidi, you have too much on your plate, you’re always on the move, no wonder weariness has set in.” But that’s not it. My personality and passions do propel me to add many wonderful things to my calendar, but this is not a physical weariness. But this is not a physical weariness. For two years we’ve hung on by our fingernails waiting for Covid to be over. And yes for the most part we’re back to normal but there is underlying and lingering angst and anger. Too many of my friends are sick right now from Covid and stress. Angry…
Posted in: anxiety, ask God, circumstances, Conflict, Covid-19, cry, disappointments, do the right thing, don't give up, Encouragement, focus, God's creation, Hearing God, hiking, listen, Making Wise Choices, Overcoming Struggles, re-evaluate, resilience, rest, tender soul care, weariness
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Posted: July 7, 2019
I’ve earned the “School of Hard Knocks” degree of being a Grief Expert through no choice of my own. After being widowed twice, losing my dad through ALS, my mother through myelodysplasia plus a myriad of other loses; I’ve heard every encouraging, and not so, encouraging word. After reading that wonderful article by Celeste Headlee in her Huffpost article, I wanted to add a few of my personal favourites. Please don’t berate yourself if you find your words in any of the following scripts. Grief is the most painful feeling we encounter while we walk this earth. It’s outrageously personal. It’s love with no place to go. It’s awkward. It’s the walking wounded and nothing you say is right or wrong or will make it better. I love it when people try to say something, instead of not making eye contact or walking away. I’ve been one of the fortunate…
Posted in: alone, Christ, cry, death, Encouragement, friends, God's love, grief, Heavenly Father, honesty, joy, Kindness, laugh, listen, love never fails, pain, pray, relationships, smile, suffering
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