Blog: Beauty from the Inside Out
Posted: May 11, 2014
In my first marriage I was more concerned about getting my own way, rather than focusing on being a good wife. I thought if everything went my way, I would be happy and organically I would become that good wife. Selfishness is so blind and foolish. Let’s be very clear about something. Being a good wife does not mean being a door mat or a shrinking violet. For I am neither. I am still the student in my marriage, but there are a few things I have actually learned. Take today for example: Every spring when it’s time to clean up our yard I declare that “I am not going to pick pine needles out of the lava rocks this year.” But I see how hard my dear Jack works in the yard doing all the trimming and clean up, and I know someone has to pick up all those…
Posted in: Balancing life, Beauty from the Inside Out, Commitment, Communication, companionship, Encouragement, Expectations, Faith, God' Love, Good Marriage, Kindness, love, Making Wise Choices, Overcoming Struggles, Pleasure, Understanding each other
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Posted: April 15, 2014
An unrelenting knot in my stomach signals the beginning of my Easter week. My emotions become tender and anxious because Good Friday is approaching-– again. This tension started ten years ago on a Good Friday, when I heard the whispered, gut wrenching words, “Were you there when they nailed Him to the tree?” In that divine, hushed moment I became that mother gazing upon her own son hanging on a cross. I tried to envision my son in that scene—Donovan, the apple of my eye, with his wistful lopsided grin and dimples. The one who makes me double over in laughter, creates gourmet recipes, shops with me, and makes my buttons burst with pride. My whole life has been devoted to nurturing, loving and protecting him. So I am overcome with emotion when I place myself in that moment in time, where Mary stands, looking up at her son’s bloody,…
Posted in: Beauty from the Inside Out, Faith, Forgiveness, Freedom, God' Love, Hope, Life of Jesus, loneliness, love, Making Wise Choices
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Posted: February 8, 2014
The results are in and I want to share them with you. With Valentine’s Day just around the corner I know that you are looking to give a unique gift to the love of your life. Why not pick one of the following 13 items and surprise your man with promise to renew an area in your marriage where it might have gotten a little…sloppy? So here goes. Men like: 1. A self-confident woman, one who is confident in her own skin. Whether she is wearing stilettos or Air Jordan runners, she happy with herself and life. A woman who exudes confidence is totally irresistible in her husband’s eyes. 2. A women who treats men with the respect that they have earned. Nothing gives a man more self confidence than being treated by respect by the woman he loves. 3. Consistent temperament. A man loves it when he does not…
Posted in: Beauty from the Inside Out, Boring marriage, companionship, Expectations, Friendship, fUN, Good Marriage, Intimacy, Kindness, Laughter, love, Making Wise Choices, power of words, Respect, Uncategorized, Understanding each other
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Posted: January 25, 2014
Our greatest quest in life is to be happy. I read an article in a British Columbia newspaper last week that stated: “Canada had the highest, per capita, drug usage for depression.” Many people feel that they are entitled to “living the dream” but can’t seem to achieve their dreams, their perfect marriage or the happiness that they feel they deserve. I am curious about this state of happiness. Happiness depends on our circumstances and even when we achieve our goals, dreams and the perfect life, we all know that it only last for a little while. That “happy feeling” is so fickle and fleeting. It disappears much faster than we thought it would. So we’re onto the next thing that will give us that pleasure jolt of feeling happy, happy, happy. If something disappears that quickly, surely there must be something wrong with it.. This is especially true in…
Posted in: Beauty from the Inside Out, Boring marriage, Commitment, Communication, companionship, Expectations, Finding Truth, Freedom, Friendship, Good Marriage, Harmony, Intimacy, Laughter, love, Making Wise Choices, Power of the Tongue, Uncategorized, Understanding each other
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Posted: October 21, 2013
It’s a gift to be able to enjoy life by learning to live in the moment. But perhaps we’ve taken this too far. Even though we’ve overused the words “instant gratification”, I believe there is value in unpacking its dangers when it encroaches on our marriage and family life. Let me explain. Even as I am writing this, I am sitting by the bedside of my 88 year old mother who will soon come face to face with Jesus. Over the past week many of our family members have flown in to express their good-bye to this extraordinary woman.She is not extraordinary because of her many accomplishments. She never wrote a book, won any prizes, or made the newspaper headlines for some notorious act of valor or media releases.But she soaked our family with love through her unfailing prayers and gratefulness. Just this morning she softly breathed the words, “Our…
Posted in: Balancing life, Beauty from the Inside Out, Commitment, companionship, Encouragement, Faith, Finding Truth, God' Love, Legacy, love, Making Wise Choices, Peace, resilient, self gratification, Understanding each other
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Posted: September 6, 2013
Books can’t prepare you for this. Life is just not perfect. Real marriage starts when you wake up with someone day after day, through the laughter and the stomach flu; that you really find out who this” other person” is. While we are in the dating and “chemical stage” (pleasure chemicals flowing through our bodies) we don’t really let people know the authentic, and even darker sides of our personality. I had the great pleasure of observing a 21 year marriage recently, where the husband and wife have learned to cohabitate in chaos and in peace. The husband is stimulated by chaos. What I mean by that is that his office looks like the aftermath of a hurricane, yet he knows where everything is and everything gets all his work done successfully. While is he on his phone he is also able to fix machinery, empty a dishwasher, check invoices…
Posted in: Beauty from the Inside Out, Boring marriage, chaos, Commitment, companionship, Conflict, Differences, Encouragement, Expectations, Faith, Friendship, fUN, Good Marriage, Harmony, Intimacy, Making Wise Choices, Overcoming Struggles, Peace, Respect, Uncategorized, Understanding each other
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Posted: August 5, 2013
Laughter cuts tension and breaks down barriers. I observed this concept in my own children when they were little. I watched them play, and then fight, and then laugh hilariously about something silly. In the aftermath of that refreshing laughter, they completely forgot they were mad at each other. This concept still applies to us grown-ups. Life can get very serious these days and we desperately need to learn to laugh again. Yes, the butterflies of early romance quickly flutter away, but they can be replaced by something more substantive. In a New York Times article i. entitled Reinventing Date Night for Long-Married Couples, the writer concludes that “Simply spending quality time together is probably not enough to prevent a relationship from getting stale.” We’ve all heard the phrase “familiarity breeds contempt’ and I also believe that none of us want to become that “old boring couple”. I am passionate…
Posted in: Balancing life, Beauty from the Inside Out, Boring marriage, Communication, companionship, Conflict, dopamine, Encouragement, Expectations, Freedom from Busyness, Friendship, fUN, Good Marriage, Intimacy, Laughter, Norepinephrine, Pleasure, Uncategorized, Understanding each other
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Posted: July 13, 2013
I cringe when I remember saying to my children: “Oh you’re so sensitive.”At that time I did not realize the negative impact it would have on their spirits. Even though we are all grown up now, we still have those tender…“sensitive” feelings that cause us to react defensively. Let me explain. As we mature, we do not want to show our weaknesses. But each one of us has that tender spot in our spirit, or a red hot button, that when it is pushed or trammeled on, causes us to respond negatively. Most men have been taught to “suck it up… be a man… babies don’t cry…grow up”, and consequently have learned to build a wall around their weaknesses. But, those tender feelings are still deep inside their spirits and are easily evoked when the wrong thing is said. However, men… (and many women) have learned to hide weakness and…
Posted in: Balancing life, Beauty from the Inside Out, Communication, companionship, Encouragement, Friendship, Good Marriage, Harmony, Intimacy, Kindness, Making Wise Choices, Overcoming Struggles, Pleasure, Power of the Tongue, power of words, sensitive
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Posted: June 28, 2013
Nature abhors a vacuum. An emotional or spiritual vacuum is “destruction just waiting to happen.”In a marriage relationship, a vacuum is an alarming red flag. It defines a gnawing loneliness of the worst kind. Being attached to someone through the process of vows and signatures on paper, and then feeling emotionally alone and vacant, is worse than having been alone on the first place. It says in the first book of the bible in Genesis 2:18 “It is not good for man to be alone.” You and I were created for intimate relationship and when we feel disconnected we have a vacuum inside of us bigger than the Grand Canyon. Here is why it is so dangerous to walk around with a vacuum in our souls. When there is a vacuum in nature, it will do whatever it can to fill it immediately. In a flood, the water will directly…
Posted in: Balancing life, Beauty from the Inside Out, Commitment, Communication, Encouragement, Expectations, Freedom from Busyness, Friendship, Good Marriage, Harmony, Intimacy, loneliness, Making Wise Choices, Overcoming Struggles, power of words, Understanding each other, Valued
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Posted: June 14, 2013
Through 48 years consisting of 2 marriages, I have learned the significant parts that husbands have in alleviating family stress and tension and promoting peace and harmony.It simply requires that a man step up to be proactive, rather than withdrawing and isolating himself from what goes on in the home. I experienced a very positive example of this several years when my wife Heidi and I were invited to spend a weekend with a couple and their three children. We looked forward to the visit with keen anticipation of skiing on one of our British Columbia, Canada’s most outstanding mountains.It is to be understood that preparation for a family ski trip can be fairly chaotic with the amount of equipment that walks away and the socks that are eaten by the clothes dryer. However, in this case, the preparation for the departure was a thing of beauty. We woke up…
Posted in: Balancing life, Beauty from the Inside Out, Commitment, Communication, Encouragement, Expectations, Friendship, Good Marriage, Harmony, Intimacy, Kindness, Life of Jesus, Making Wise Choices, Pleasure, power of words, Prayer, Respect, Uncategorized, Understanding each other, Valued
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