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Posted: January 25, 2014

Couple Holding Hands on Swing Set

Our greatest quest in life is to be happy. I read an article in a British Columbia newspaper last week that stated: “Canada had the highest, per capita, drug usage for depression.” Many people feel that they are entitled to “living the dream” but can’t seem to achieve their dreams, their perfect marriage or the happiness that they feel they deserve.

I am curious about this state of happiness. Happiness depends on our circumstances and even when we achieve our goals, dreams and the perfect life, we all know that it only last for a little while. That “happy feeling” is so fickle and fleeting. It disappears much faster than we thought it would. So we’re onto the next thing that will give us that pleasure jolt of feeling happy, happy, happy.

If something disappears that quickly, surely there must be something wrong with it.. This is especially true in our marriages.  We were so happy, happy, happy when we were planning the wedding and visions a happy home, happy children and adoring spouse. We all know by now that this is a romance novel fantasy.

So what do we do?  Decide our spouse is no longer making us happy so we look for another one? In our present disposal society if something doesn’t work or doesn’t give us the pleasure we were seeking, we just buy another one. Let’s not accept that notion, instead let’s fix the one you’ve got.

The older I get I find that the most difficult things in life have the simplest answers. After doing research, listening to experts and seeking answers in the Word of God, our secret key to happiness is simply this. “A heart of gratefulness.” How does this work in a “supposedly” unhappy marriage? Gratitude is the greatest shortcut to happiness. Here are a few tips:

a.         Think back to when you first fell in love. What did you love about each other?  Rethink about what you were grateful for then. Be grateful for it again.

b.         Look for the simple treasures in your daily life.  Once you focus on the good things you have, all of the things you don’t have lose their power to control you.

c.         Maybe you think your spouse is no longer the person you want him to be with. Be grateful for him/her anyway.

d.         Thank God daily for all you have and all you are. Thank God in advance for all that He will do for you that day and wait for the blessings to come.

e.         Happiness is a state of your heart, not the product of your perfect environment. If you believe happiness will be found in things outside of you, your quest for happiness will never end.

f.          Every one of us already has everything we need to be happy. Be your own teacher to seek it in yourself and then cultivate it.

g.         Look for reasons to smile. Soon you will be smiling about many things.

h.         Decide whether you will choose happiness or chase it.

i.          There is something very beautiful, engaging and energetic about being around people who are grateful. It is an infectious energy.

To be really happy, be the most loving person that you can possibly be. This starts by cultivating a heart of gratefulness.  This beautiful transformation will infect the people around you and I guarantee it will make your spouse look at you differently. Being grateful for what you have, instead of all you want, could possibly make you fall in love with your spouse…all over again.

Be on a quest to be a grateful person. I guarantee it will create a new happy, happy, happy.





Posted in: Beauty from the Inside Out, Boring marriage, Commitment, Communication, companionship, Expectations, Finding Truth, Freedom, Friendship, Good Marriage, Harmony, Intimacy, Laughter, love, Making Wise Choices, Power of the Tongue, Uncategorized, Understanding each other

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