Blog: Beauty from the Inside Out
Posted: May 27, 2015
Let’s be honest. When we enter a room full or people, we love it when someone shouts, “Hey Carol, come over here with us. It’s so great to see you!” We feel noticed and valued. Admired and loved. On the contrary, it’s horrible when we stand beside someone who gets all the glory and attention. We go unnoticed. We feel invisible because we are standing in someone else’s shadow. We have to recognize that this also happens in our marriages. Especially these days with husband and wife both juggling careers, staying connected and involved in their community, perhaps competing in athletics or even running their own businesses. We have to make sure competition and recognition says healthy and balanced for both parties. For example: My husband Jack and I both have prominent positions in our community and our country. When we were first married and attended functions where he was…
Posted in: Beauty from the Inside Out, communicate, Good Marriage, happy, honest, invisible, recognition, Resentment, self worth, shadow, sun
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Posted: May 9, 2015
I was four the first time it happened. “Mommy why are we stealing these lilacs. Do they belong to us?” The snap of the branches and the sweet aroma of those vintage purple lilacs put such a radiant smile on my mother’s face that I must have been mistaken. My quiet and tender mother would never do anything wrong. As I clung to her hand I had a bounce in my step and felt secure as we headed back to our compact bungalow nestled in a small village in Germany. World War Two had left bomb shelters, broken dreams and poverty throughout Germany. Beauty and culture was beginning to emerge from all the rubble, but we still were still poor. We had no garden or flowerbeds to call our own, but there were misplaced lilac bushes and lonely fruit trees scattered throughout the countryside. My gentle mother was confined to…
Posted in: Beauty from the Inside Out, Beauty Unleashed, Encouragement, Legacy, love, Making Wise Choices, Overcoming Struggles, Pleasure, resilient
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Posted: March 3, 2015
There is one interruption that I know would put a huge smile on my face. Imagine this. It’s my birthday coming up and my husband gives me a simple card and an umbrella. Inside the card it says this. “I hear it rains in Paris at this time of the year.” It would take me but a minute to go down into the basement and get my suitcase. Most interruptions are not pleasant and come at inopportune times and have the possibility to wreck our ideal life. I’m not talking about the little annoyances like running out of gas in the middle of winter or spilling coffee all over your new white shirt. I’m talking about interruptions that change the course of our hopes and dreams. For Instance: One of your unemployed children is moving back home. You just discovered that your spouse is addicted to pornography. Your children are…
Posted in: Balancing life, Beauty from the Inside Out, Commitment, Communication, companionship, Conflict, Encouragement, Finding Truth, Friendship, Good Marriage, Harmony, Intimacy, Laughter, Listening, love, Making Wise Choices, Overcoming Struggles, Peace, pornography, power of words
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Posted: January 24, 2015
Let’s be honest, most of us are “stuff managers”. We go to work in the morning to make money to buy stuff. Then when we bring it home we have to find a place to put this stuff. When there is no more room, we put our stuff into plastic containers with labels on them and find room in the basement or the garage to store this stuff. Or, we might have to dig through our existing stuff so we can give it away to make room for more stuff. Or, we might have to rent a storage container or locker room to store our stuff. Often times we don’t even know what stuff to use; should we use our golf clubs, kayak, boat, swimming pool, bikes, motor home or just sit at home and linger on the deck? Or should we sit down with our day timers or phones…
Posted in: Balancing life, Beauty from the Inside Out, Communication, Encouragement, Good Marriage, Intimacy, Making Wise Choices, Overcoming Struggles, Understanding each other
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Posted: January 4, 2015
Prayer is the most uncomfortable yet powerful topic for marriages. I know it’s uncomfortable because every time I bring it up at any marriage teaching session or marriage mentoring, the room falls silent. Yet prayer is the most powerful source we have in our marriages to create intimacy, receive healing and find hope and peace in our tumultuous lives. What is it that is holding us back from embracing this supernatural FREE power that, reluctantly we know, will save most marriages? When Jack and I got married 18 years ago, we instantly became parents of a large blended family of 5 children and many grandchildren. They all lived away from us and we are smart enough to know that families run into difficulties, stresses, illnesses and they need help. But living so far away from everyone we could not be there to help them. Jack and I made a deliberate…
Posted in: Beauty from the Inside Out, Communication, Expectations, Finding Truth, Friendship, Good Marriage, Intimacy, love, Making Wise Choices, Overcoming Struggles, Pleasure, power of words, Prayer, Uncategorized, Understanding each other
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Posted: December 5, 2014
I have an addiction. You might say I get obsessed with a compelling story when I am in the middle of reading a great book. I simply can’t put the book down until I have some kind of resolve. I remember when I was nine, my mother would have to keep coming into my bedroom and make me put away my books and turn out the light. As soon as she closed the door, I would again slip under my covers with my flashlight and continue reading my favourite Nancy Drew cliffhangers. A great story keeps us turning the pages, staying up late on a work night and becoming familiar and deeply involved with the captivating characters. That kind of fascinating story keeps us turning the pages until we read, “The End.” Our marriages need a great story. I believe we all got married in the first place to find…
Posted in: Beauty from the Inside Out, Beauty Unleashed
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Posted: November 1, 2014
For the month of November my home church, Trinity Baptist in Kelowna, reaches out to the community with intentional acts of kindness. As I was writing an article about the different ways we can show kindness, I scoured my mind for creative and radical ways to show kindness throughout our city. One intentional act of kindness I always do is pay for the person behind me when I go to Wendy’s drive through for their Supreme Taco salad. I love driving away and wondering what the person behind me must be thinking. “Why in the world would that woman in front of me do that? I wonder what she’s up to? I always drive away fast enough so that they never catch up to me or find out. I love the intrigue knowing I have brought delight into someone’s life. This morning was my time to clean out all the…
Posted in: Beauty from the Inside Out, Beauty Unleashed, companionship, Conflict, Friendship, Good Marriage, Harmony, Intimacy, Kindness, Laughter, love, Making Wise Choices, Overcoming Struggles, power of words, Uncategorized, Understanding each other
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Posted: September 6, 2014
Our family has a zany sense of humor and any time we need a good belly laugh we pull up a Brian Regan YouTube video. One of our favorite videos always starts with the sentence: “I just want to get through life without looking stupid. So far it’s not working.” In light of this marriage topic, I would like to change that sentence to: “I just want to get through life without feeling shame or blame…so far it’s not working.” God designed “good marriages” by putting together two imperfect, vulnerable, insecure people and shaping them into the beautiful image of Jesus Christ. Nothing “sandpapers, cuts, moulds and shapes” people better than when they are living in close proximity and intimacy with each other. But sometimes the shaping of this good marriage can be so painful at times that all we want to do is run. Nothing makes us run faster and…
Posted in: Beauty from the Inside Out, Communication, companionship, Finding Truth, Good Marriage, Harmony, Hope, Intimacy, love, messes, Overcoming Struggles, Uncategorized, Understanding each other
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Posted: August 15, 2014
I get all warm and tingly when I find a gorgeous pair of designer shoes at 70% off the last sale price. Or, if I find out that one of my articles is being published and I’m actually going to get paid for it. But that glow quickly evaporates over the next couple of hours or days. I’m not “in love with the shoes or articles”; they just give me a lovely jolt of temporary bliss. But I’m afraid we might expect that same kind of pleasure rush in our relationships and it may be our gauge for determining whether or not we are in love. We live in a very selfish and pleasure seeking world and I think we have confused the definition of love. “Love is directed outward toward others and not inward toward ourselves. It is not a feeling but a decision to meet others’ needs.” So if…
Posted in: Beauty from the Inside Out, Commitment, Communication, Conflict, Differences, Encouragement, Expectations, Faith, Finding Truth, Forgiveness, God' Love, Good Marriage, Intimacy, love, Making Wise Choices, Overcoming Struggles, Patience, Pleasure, Resentment, Uncategorized, Understanding each other
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Posted: June 7, 2014
Conflict and crudeness seems to be the order of the day in our present throwaway generation. Just spend some time watching sitcoms and real life T.V., and it will quickly become evident that the concept of “Honor” appears to be a quaint notion from somewhere in the past. Yet I would submit that “Honor” is a widely taught subject of the Holy Scriptures. A simple definition of the word is “a value or appreciation, esteem, favorable, regard, respect.” A better understanding of the word may help if we take a look at its counterpart: “dishonored”, which in its strongest form means to “treat shamefully and even humiliated.” Beginning with God, we are taught to “Honor” a wide range of individuals including authorities, civil, social and church leaders, and parents. In addition, “Honor” is an essential ingredient in the home to bring about harmony and free couples to be all that…
Posted in: 5 things, Beauty from the Inside Out, Communication, companionship, Encouragement, Freedom, Friendship, God' Love, Good Marriage, Harmony, Intimacy, love, Making Wise Choices, power of words, Respect, Understanding each other
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