Blog: relationships
Posted: October 7, 2019
Living alone is hard, especially if you’ve always had someone by your side for a long time. Your body is jarred when your heart is exploding with joy and no one at home to share it with. Or, an unexpected bill arrives in the mail and now it’s up to you to handle it. You need to turn on the irrigation but don’t know where the knobs are, or you need to learn how to barbecue or change the filter in the furnace. In the almost three years of living alone, I’ve overcome all those frustrations and solitary adventures, but the aloneness is always there. I’m facilitating a group called Grief Share, where once again I’m confronted with the reality of people learning how to live alone. Some for the first time after fifty or sixty years. I ache for them and cry for them because this is hard. Now…
Posted in: alone, ask God, Christ, companionship, decisions, empty chair, Encouragement, Expectations, feeling good, friends, Friendship, happiness, havens, homes, hospitality, laughter, loneliness, Overcoming Struggles, pray, recapture your joy, relationships
Read More
Posted: July 7, 2019
I’ve earned the “School of Hard Knocks” degree of being a Grief Expert through no choice of my own. After being widowed twice, losing my dad through ALS, my mother through myelodysplasia plus a myriad of other loses; I’ve heard every encouraging, and not so, encouraging word. After reading that wonderful article by Celeste Headlee in her Huffpost article, I wanted to add a few of my personal favourites. Please don’t berate yourself if you find your words in any of the following scripts. Grief is the most painful feeling we encounter while we walk this earth. It’s outrageously personal. It’s love with no place to go. It’s awkward. It’s the walking wounded and nothing you say is right or wrong or will make it better. I love it when people try to say something, instead of not making eye contact or walking away. I’ve been one of the fortunate…
Posted in: alone, Christ, cry, death, Encouragement, friends, God's love, grief, Heavenly Father, honesty, joy, Kindness, laugh, listen, love never fails, pain, pray, relationships, smile, suffering
Read More
Posted: March 31, 2019
Why should we become like little children? After all they wear us out with their frenetic activity, messes to clean up, and their defiant “no’s” and “mine.” Not to mention the sleepless nights, the need for constant attention, whining and temper tantrums. Well, we don’t have to worry about becoming that, because we are that already. So when Jesus tells us in the Bible to become like little children, what do you think that means? And he said: “Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.” (Matthew 18:3) The key words here are “unless you change.”So how does that apply to us fully grown, responsible and efficient world changers? Let’s take a magnifying glass and zoom in. The simplicity of relationships. It takes very little to make little children happy. Last year I dedicated many hours to teaching little ones to blow bubbles…
Posted in: becoming, companionship, Encouragement, Friendship, God's love, happy, humility, Jesus, joy, Laughter, Life of Jesus, messes, Pleasure, Prayer, recapture your joy, relationships, Simple, simplicity, stuff managers
Read More
Posted: January 13, 2019
In our present “me first” generation how do we separate selfishness from self-compassion? Haven’t our last few decades erupted with some self-entitled children, and a society that is enamoured with happiness at all costs? Where did we go wrong? After all, the only thing we wanted was a happy life and happy children with solid self-esteem. Too often we felt the pain of disappointment and failure and wanted to protect our children from experiencing those devastating feelings at all costs. So everyone wins. Everyone gets a trophy. Yayy, you’re a winner and entitled to feel that way. We’ll do whatever it takes to make you happy again. But, this creates selfishness. Yes, it’s extremely important how we play the game, but the fact remains that life is also about losing. We have to learn to lose, to feel rejected and disappointed. We don’t always get our way, everyone doesn’t always…
Posted in: disappointment, Expectations, fulfillment, God's love, happiness, happy, loneliness, love, perfection, relationships, self worth, Self-compassion, self-esteem, selfishness, suffering, vulnerable
Read More
Posted: July 9, 2018
If you only had 30 days to live what would you do differently? I’m quite certain the first thing you would do is quit your job and lean into people and things that are most important to you. Many people are not really willing to live fully alive, until they know they’re going to lose what they already have. So why not start living full out, not stuck in the “if only’s”, letting go of resentment and past hurts and using your past adversity as a springboard into your very best life? Our world is infatuated with comfort and well-being. But we need to embrace our adversity. Each and every form of our trials brings a great opportunity to be seized for something much better. You and I, with the transforming power of the Holy Spirit, can turn every affliction and pain into a new advantage and lasting joy in…
Posted in: adversity, ask God, Balancing life, Beauty from the Inside Out, Christ, companionship, God's love, happiness, happy, honesty, joy, Kindness, Making Wise Choices, Prayer, relationships, resilient, self worth, trouble, trust, victory
Read More
Posted: March 12, 2018
I wrote a marriage blog for four years called the K.I.S.S. (Keep It Simple Sweetheart) Marriage, because I believe in the care and nurture of enjoying a loving marriage. So now that I am a widow why am I still writing about marriages? Because it wrecks my heart when I see husbands and wives not treating each other in ways that brings joy and fulfillment to their lives. God designed marriage to be good, so go for the good! Maybe you don’t have the perfect husband, but if he were gone tomorrow, you would treat him differently today. Marriage was not designed to be a power struggle, a wrestling match, or the biggest winner or loser. Marriage was designed to bring out the best in each other; the way God designed us to be. Yes, it takes sandpapering, but that is part of the loving process. Rick Warren in his…
Posted in: Families, fighting, God' Love, Harmony, homes, laughter, listen, love, marriage, pray, Prayer, relationships, time, Understanding each other, weaknesses, winning
Read More
Posted: December 3, 2017
Since I’ve come back from Romania many people have presented a valuable question. “So Heidi, what difference do you think you made over in Romania?” Initially this question caught me off guard and I responded with the most obvious answers, “Well, we helped clean a church, put on Ladies Teas and handed out gift bags, and helped create an atmosphere for a Canadian Thanksgiving.” Upon reflection I realize I did not change the world with those helpful gestures. I simply took two weeks out of my luxurious life to try to show God’s love to an impoverished country through acts and words of love and kindness. In the last three days I’ve taken long walks and asked God this puzzling question, “God, how did I make a difference?” Today the answer came as clear as though it was written on a banner in front of my eyes. “LOVE NEVER FAILS”…
Posted in: Encouragement, generosity, God' Love, Kindness, love, relationships, Romania
Read More
Posted: July 30, 2017
Two weeks ago I had the privilege of having a conversation with Don Piper, the author of the book and movie, 90 MINUTES ON HEAVEN. His gentle and kind words comforted me, gave me wisdom and put a smile on my face. His trouble came on a bridge, when his car collided with a semi-tractor truck and Don was pronounced dead. Ninety minutes later someone prayed over him, started singing a song, and soon Don sang along with him. His recovery was dreadfully painful and in the first year he had thirty-four surgeries. We will all face trouble, and sometimes within seconds we feel helpless when our lives change. The Bible says, “In this world you will have trouble” (John 16:33). My latest trouble came last November when my darling Jack, my second husband, dropped dead going for a cup of coffee. We don’t have a checklist on how…
Posted in: community, crisis, death, decisions, Faith, finances, grief, Hope, Jesus, love, Making Wise Choices, Overcoming Struggles, relationships, troubles, Uncategorized
Read More
Posted: February 7, 2017
I call it my “Black Friday.” Throughout the three weeks of my husband Jack’s death and funeral, my house was a revolving door with family, friends, neighbours and super sized casseroles. Then the day came when I drove my last child to the Kelowna airport and walked through my front door. Empty house. Alone. Then came Friday. The sky was heavy with winter gloom and grief stabbed at me with knives that shook me to the core. Never before had I experienced the depth of such pain, darkness and “aloneness”. I was startled when my cell phone rang and then heard the gentle and loving voice of a dear friend. Once I heard the emphatic tone in her voice all I did was sob. And sob. She didn’t try to console me, fix me or make things better. She simply cried with me and then listened. Once I was able…
Posted in: alone, death, empathy, friends, Friendship, funeral, grief, listen, pain, pray, relationships, sympathy
Read More
Posted: January 23, 2017
Since my last blog post I’ve had many women ask: “So Heidi, how do we build those loving and authentic friendships and relationships”? This past week I spent a delightful evening with one of my tribes and I posed that very question. The next hour was filled with honest and engaging conversation. Here are 7 basic tips we came up with: Know Yourself. Our soul must be nurtured to be healthy and strong so that we can overcome jealousy, offenses and negative situations. If we foster a victim mentality eventually we will feel disappointed, hurt, rejected and move onto what we think will be something better. Often times the best friendship is right under our nose but we don’t take the time to cultivate it. Our foremost and vital relationship is with God who is the only One who can grow us into the people He designed us to be….
Posted in: authentic, Expectations, Forgiveness, Friendship, loneliness, personalities, relationships, shame, time, vulnerable
Read More
