Don’t You Care? – by Heidi McLaughlin
Posted: February 9, 2026
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Windy Places-by Heidi McLaughlin
Posted: January 6, 2026
For twelve years my family lived in the windy city of Lethbridge, Alberta. Before we moved there people warned us about the horrific winds, but I dismissed their comments because I thought they were exaggerating. But when I saw ambulances pick up people that had been knocked over by wind, I knew my friends had under-exaggerated. Our family had to learn how to survive in windy places. Now that my children are older, we still have great conversations about the Lethbridge wind. Donovan likes to remind me that when he was between eight and ten all he wanted to do on a Saturday morning was lay in front of the TV and watch cartoons. Eventually mom would come along, take control, turn off the TV and tell both children, Michelle and Donovan. “Ok guys, it’s time to go outside and do some activities. Get some fresh air. Have some fun…
When Life Suddenly Shatters-Heidi McLaughlin
Posted: October 30, 2025
When a beloved spouse dies suddenly, the world stops in an instant. One moment life is full of laughter, anticipation, conversation and plans for the day. The next moment everything shatters. Everything feels unfamiliar. People are talking but nothing makes sense. There is the noise of ambulances, paramedics, machines and tension-filled voices. But in my mind, everything has stopped and I am in my own world of silence. Something has just happened where I know life will never be the same again. This is what happened to both of my beloved husbands. The next morning you wake up and are faced with a life you never wanted. People ask me which is harder. When someone dies slowly through cancer or a long-term illness, or the sudden death where they are gone in seconds? They are both the hardest things we will ever go through, but they are different. Sudden death…
When Life Changes from “WE” to “ME”-By Heidi McLaughlin
Posted: September 5, 2025
It’s shocking to walk down Aisle 5 of your favourite grocery store and have to restrain yourself from buying your spouses’ favorite pickles or seasonings. In that moment the harsh reality hits once again; the life you’ve known and loved is gone. It’s a punch in the gut. And now you’re shopping for one instead of two. You get to buy all the items that make you happy, but the happiness has vanished. But happiness has vanished. Another painful moment is buying birthday, anniversary or Christmas cards. You’re drawn to a card that says: “Happy Birthday from Both of Us.” But there is no “both” it is now just you. I loved being a “we” and did not want to reclaim my personal identity. So much of being a couple is intertwined: “we love this restaurant,” “we love vacationing in Europe,” “we love going to church together.” I am no…
SINGING IN THE RAIN-by Heidi McLaughlin
Posted: August 8, 2025
One of my simple pleasures is walking in the rain. Without hat, umbrella or rain proof coat; rain running down my face and soaking my body. Especially in the summer when the sun makes the rain sweet and warm. It refreshes and it feels like I’ve been washed from the inside out. But I lost that simple pleasure when grief knocked me flat on my face, broken and unable to get up on my own. I lost almost all my simple pleasures. Reading, enjoying a long sleep-in, a fresh cup of coffee, decorating my home and writing. When I looked in the mirror my eyes were no longer a bright blue, they turned grey. Every day was simply survival. I just wanted it to stop. While going through intense grief it feels like it will last forever. From our self-imposed inner reality we believe this is our new normal and…
Smells, Sights and Sounds of Grief-by Heidi McLaughlin
Posted: July 7, 2025
An emotional lightning bolt hit me on the golf course. I saw the backside of a man about Jack’s age, wearing a Puma golf hat, with black golf shorts and a blue shirt. That’s exactly what Jack always wore. My heart started to pound; I stopped and couldn’t take my eyes off him. I’m not crazy. Of course I knew it wasn’t Jack. My brain knows Jack died a long time ago. But our grief saturated minds can play powerful tricks on our feelings. The desire to see our loved ones again is so powerful, our hearts become irrational with that deep longing. We’re not crazy we’re just sad. Some smells and sounds trigger emotional responses that are quite shocking. Jack and I had a favorite restaurant which is quite expensive, so we went there only on special occasions. Months after Jack died a family member (who didn’t now it…
The Unpredictability of Grief-by Heidi McLaughlin
Posted: June 3, 2025
I often hear grieving people say: “No one ever told me it would be like this. One moment you feel composed, like you may be able to handle it. The next, a smell, song or the name of a restaurant strikes like lightening.” There is no logic to grief. Nogrie timeline, seven steps or neat stages to follow to get you through the most painful journey you will ever take. I call it the grief monster. It has different colours, voices and moods. It’s like a cycle that loops, jumps, surprises and shifts. Grief is a monster that comes out of nowhere. I believe that is why people shy away from us because they don’t know what to do with us or what to say. It seems all wrong. Of course people want to support us but most often words fall short and well-meaning cliches, Bible verses or quotes feel…
Grief is a Lonely Road-by Heidi McLaughlin
Posted: May 1, 2025
Never in my lifetime have I seen the faces of so much grief and loss. Not just death, but the loss of divorce, miscarriages, home, business, a child on drugs or in prison, a medical diagnosis, the loss of a hope or dream or even your church or country. When I speak to an audience ask them about their losses. Their answers rock my soul. Most people in grief feel unheard and walk alone.. For the next year I will write about grief and losses with the goal to always bring you to hope. We are not meant to grieve alone. The Bible tells us to: “Mourn with those who mourn” (Romans 12:15). Mourn with those who mourn. I thought my lonely and misunderstood personal struggle of grief was mine to bear…alone. In January of 2023 I posted a Facebook meme that said: “Grief is the loneliest road you’ll ever…
Courage to be Encouraging-by Heidi McLaughlin
Posted: April 7, 2025
Consider this. Your three-year-old son is working up courage to ride his two-wheeler. You’re holding onto him and also running behind him to “encourage” him to have the courage. These two words are deeply interconnected, and each playing a vital role in helping each other to overcome challenges, grow and flourish. Courage is the inner strength that pushes us to step into our fear, uncertainly or discomfort and take risks. Courage often needs an external supportive force. This is where God, you and I come in. The Bible tells us in many places to “encourage one another.” It says: “Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just in fact you are doing” (1 Thessalonians 5:11). Like gigantic trees whose roots intertwine and hold each other up, we are created in Christ to play that same role. Our courage first comes from God and the Holy Spirit that lives…
Barefoot in the Rain-by Heidi McLaughlin
Posted: March 10, 2025
Freedom for me is walking in the rain. I was six years old, and still living in Germany when sauntering home from school I had a grand idea. After a huge downpour of rain I thought it would be fun to walk in the rain filled ditches. It was exhilarating. I still remember the joy of the warm water swirling around my legs and the splashing and jumping. I made one huge mistake. I kept my shoes on and was punished when I got home. These days while living in Kelowna, British Columbia, in a semi-arid landscape, rain is quite rare. So when it comes I pull out my umbrella and walk in the sweetness of the rain. Oh the sounds and the pure smell of rain is so refreshing and joyful. The sounds and smells of rain is so refreshing. This past February and part of March I was…
