Blog: Hope
Posted: September 5, 2025
It’s shocking to walk down Aisle 5 of your favourite grocery store and have to restrain yourself from buying your spouses’ favorite pickles or seasonings. In that moment the harsh reality hits once again; the life you’ve known and loved is gone. It’s a punch in the gut. And now you’re shopping for one instead of two. You get to buy all the items that make you happy, but the happiness has vanished. But happiness has vanished. Another painful moment is buying birthday, anniversary or Christmas cards. You’re drawn to a card that says: “Happy Birthday from Both of Us.” But there is no “both” it is now just you. I loved being a “we” and did not want to reclaim my personal identity. So much of being a couple is intertwined: “we love this restaurant,” “we love vacationing in Europe,” “we love going to church together.” I am no…
Posted in: all alone, alone, becoming, brokenness, companionship, darkness, death, empty soul, finding yourself, From WE to ME, Good Marriage, grief, grief changes us, grief is lonely, grief is unpredictable, happiness, Hope, loneliness, mourn, Move on, new identity, Prayer, suffering, sympathy, trust God for today, weeping
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Posted: August 8, 2025
One of my simple pleasures is walking in the rain. Without hat, umbrella or rain proof coat; rain running down my face and soaking my body. Especially in the summer when the sun makes the rain sweet and warm. It refreshes and it feels like I’ve been washed from the inside out. But I lost that simple pleasure when grief knocked me flat on my face, broken and unable to get up on my own. I lost almost all my simple pleasures. Reading, enjoying a long sleep-in, a fresh cup of coffee, decorating my home and writing. When I looked in the mirror my eyes were no longer a bright blue, they turned grey. Every day was simply survival. I just wanted it to stop. While going through intense grief it feels like it will last forever. From our self-imposed inner reality we believe this is our new normal and…
Posted in: ask God, barefoot in the rain, beauty and pain coexist, beauty in God's creation, blessings, care, cry, darkness, death, despair, disappointments, empty soul, feeling bad, find the simple joys, gloomy days, God's creation, God's promises are true, goodness of God, grief changes us, grief is lonely, grief is temporary, grief is unpredictable, Hope, live one day at a time, mourn, new normal, scars are beautiful, scars are breautiful, scars heal, scars help us to remember, seasons of darkness, second chances, Simple, suffering, time doesn't heal, Uncategorized
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Posted: July 7, 2025
An emotional lightning bolt hit me on the golf course. I saw the backside of a man about Jack’s age, wearing a Puma golf hat, with black golf shorts and a blue shirt. That’s exactly what Jack always wore. My heart started to pound; I stopped and couldn’t take my eyes off him. I’m not crazy. Of course I knew it wasn’t Jack. My brain knows Jack died a long time ago. But our grief saturated minds can play powerful tricks on our feelings. The desire to see our loved ones again is so powerful, our hearts become irrational with that deep longing. We’re not crazy we’re just sad. Some smells and sounds trigger emotional responses that are quite shocking. Jack and I had a favorite restaurant which is quite expensive, so we went there only on special occasions. Months after Jack died a family member (who didn’t now it…
Posted in: alone, ask God, breathing, brokenness, circumstances, cry, darkness, death, despair, disappointments, emotional recovery, emotional triggers, empathy, Encouragement, feeling bad, grief affects the brain, grief changes us, grief is lonely, grief is misunderstood, grief is unpredictable, Hope, live one day at a time, Making Wise Choices, Overcoming Struggles, refining process, seasons of darkness, Self-compassion, special kind of love, suffering, take care of your heart, time doesn't heal, trauma, we need each other
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Posted: June 3, 2025
I often hear grieving people say: “No one ever told me it would be like this. One moment you feel composed, like you may be able to handle it. The next, a smell, song or the name of a restaurant strikes like lightening.” There is no logic to grief. Nogrie timeline, seven steps or neat stages to follow to get you through the most painful journey you will ever take. I call it the grief monster. It has different colours, voices and moods. It’s like a cycle that loops, jumps, surprises and shifts. Grief is a monster that comes out of nowhere. I believe that is why people shy away from us because they don’t know what to do with us or what to say. It seems all wrong. Of course people want to support us but most often words fall short and well-meaning cliches, Bible verses or quotes feel…
Posted in: adversity, alone, anxiety, brokenness, cry, darkness, disappointments, good shepherd, grief, grief affects the brain, grief changes us, grief is lonely, grief is misunderstood, grief is unpredictable, Hope, hurting world, loneliness, Overcoming Struggles, relationships, resilience, seasons of darkness, suffering
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Posted: May 1, 2025
Never in my lifetime have I seen the faces of so much grief and loss. Not just death, but the loss of divorce, miscarriages, home, business, a child on drugs or in prison, a medical diagnosis, the loss of a hope or dream or even your church or country. When I speak to an audience ask them about their losses. Their answers rock my soul. Most people in grief feel unheard and walk alone.. For the next year I will write about grief and losses with the goal to always bring you to hope. We are not meant to grieve alone. The Bible tells us to: “Mourn with those who mourn” (Romans 12:15). Mourn with those who mourn. I thought my lonely and misunderstood personal struggle of grief was mine to bear…alone. In January of 2023 I posted a Facebook meme that said: “Grief is the loneliest road you’ll ever…
Posted in: all alone, alone, beauty and pain coexist, brokenness, death, disappointments, empathy, empty soul, grief, grief is lonely, grief is misunderstood, healing, honesty, Hope, hurting world, It's going to be OK, loneliness, Overcoming Struggles, pain, relationships, sympathy, tender soul care, unheard and unseen, we need each other
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Posted: June 10, 2024
We want to be nice girls so we stuff our feelings, paste on a plastic smile and carry on. Inwardly the heart churns and toxic fumes accumulate as we drink our own poison hoping the other person will die. Resentment is the number one killer of relationships, especially marriages. I consider myself an expert on this topic as I learned how to recognize and survive this toxic crisis in my first marriage. I recall how each time I felt resentment, I wanted to pick up a rock and throw it toward my enemy. But because I tried to have harmony in the home I hid the rock (my anger) and put it into a pretty little imaginary box where it would be nice and safe. I was clueless about the dangers of ultimate explosions. I did not know that resentment was: Feeling heartbroken after exerting a great deal of effort…
Posted in: accusations, adversity, angry, Anticipation, anxiety, ask God, Assumptions, betrayal, confront conflict, disappointments, do the hard work, don't give up, Expectations, faulty thinking, Finding Truth, forgive one another, frustrations, grit, healing, honest, Hope, messes, Offenses, Overcoming Struggles, power of words, relationships, Resentment, set free, shame, take care of your heart, Tension, trouble, Understanding each other, worry
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Posted: March 12, 2023
What does it even mean to be “beyond ordinary?” The last 3 days I’ve been involved in a Global Conference with women around the world from 45 countries with the theme CALLED: BEYOND ORDINARY. I know we would all like to wake up one day, look in the mirror and reflect a woman that is smart, capable, enchanting and beautiful. After hearing many testimonies and keynote speakers, here’s what’ve learned about becoming “Beyond Ordinary.” BECOME UNCOMFORTABLE. Well, that’s not what we want to hear. To become something “more than ordinary” we have to step out of our comfort zone. Often times it’s with fear and trembling as we step into the unknown. Like stepping out of a plane and soaring effortlessly as Miss Wheelchair Canada Vahen King did so courageously. LOVE ME TO DEATH SO THAT HE CAN KISS ME TO LIFE. That’s a radical powerful statement made by Kathy…
Posted in: achievements, be a blessing, be a follower, Beauty through Boldness, beyond ordinary, brokenness, circumstances, Come to Jesus, comfort zones, disappointments, Encouragement, God's creation, God's goodness, God's love, Hope, hurting world, kiss of life, Lord, Overcoming Fear, Overcoming Struggles, pain, praise, seasons of darkness, success, thanksgiving, transformation, trouble, uncomfortable, victory, worship is a weapon
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Posted: January 15, 2023
Some days life feels like this doesn’t it? Immersed in fog, without clarity and everything seems eerie and quiet. Especially when Covid has hopefully seen it’s last visit, and there are hopes, dreams and expectations for the coming year. How do you find your way? Me? I want to be like the rhinoceros and zebra. Let me explain. I want to be like the rhinoceros and zebra. Rhinoceros – Though there no official statistics on how far a rhino can see, from research it is estimated that they can’t distinguish between a man and a tree at a distance of 20 meters. How is that good? It’s similar to being in a fog, if we can’t see what’s ahead of us, we don’t need to worry. The Bible tells us: “Don’t worry about tomorrow, because tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of it’s own” (Matthew 6:34). This…
Posted in: accumulate experiences, adversity, Anticipation, anxious, ask God, circumstances, Conflict, darkness, decisions, don't give up, each day has enough troubles of its own, Expectations, Fear, focus, foggy life, frustrations, gloomy days, God's promises, Hearing God, Hope, hurting world, live one day at a time, Making Wise Choices, Overcoming Struggles, rhinoceros, seasons of darkness, step into the future, trouble, trust, trust God for today, worry, zebra stripes
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Posted: February 7, 2021
When we’re caught in rip-tide of discouragement, aloneness and even medical issues, we need friends to pull us out. Yes Covid has restrictions but they cannot be used an excuse for not tenderly caring for one-another. There are ways. If you’ve been part of my Fresh Joy Book study you notice that I often refer to friendship circles as “tribes.” Tribes are vital to our soul and our health. Tribes are vital to our soul and health. A tribe is, “a distinctive or close-knit group.” We need people in our life who will engage with us, help us when we’re stuck, make us laugh and call us out on bad behaviour. Before Covid, this was done in face-to-face in groups (2 or more) celebrating victories, grieving together or just connecting heart-to-heart. The richness of this cannot be duplicated and must be pursued. During Covid we are limited but there are…
Posted in: alone, beauty and joy, Christ, companionship, Covid-19, disappointments, Encouragement, fresh joy, Friendship, girlfriends, good conversation, Hope, isolation, Jesus, joy, laughter, Lifter-uppers, loneliness, loneliness epidemic, relationships, tribes
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Posted: December 13, 2020
The movie “Home Alone” is a hilarious Christmas classic. But with the unwelcome guest of Covid, being alone at Christmas is not funny; it’s a harsh and ugly reality. Some of you might be rolling your eyes right now. You’re stuck in a house filled with people finding ways to pass the days, and would welcome a dose of being alone. And it’s true, aloneness can be a gift when we seek it and find contentment. But loneliness is different. This topic is no longer idle conversation; it’s become an emerging epidemic. People everywhere, especially singles and people in care homes, are suffering with loneliness. Loneliness is a reality. Many people are so busy at Christmas that they forget those who are grieving, depressed or simply don’t have any community or a loving tribe. I know…the world assaults us with too much information and we want to protect ourselves from…
Posted in: all alone, alone, alone at Christmas, Christmas joy, Covid Christmas, Covid-19, disappointments, God's love, Hope, hugs, joy, loneliness epidemic, single, singleness, singleness at Christmas
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