Feeling Offended-by Heidi McLaughlin
Posted: October 9, 2026
Yes, I get offended. I still live in a human body that feels pain—one that recoils when I am misunderstood or when someone attacks my character. Is that sinful or wrong? No. God gave us feelings as a dashboard, helping us recognize how we respond to life. The question is: What will I do with this ugly emotion? If I hold on to the offense and remain angry, resentment can grow into bitterness. And bitterness is like a weed in the heart, choking out love, grace, and forgiveness. That is when it becomes sinful.
Then it becomes sinful.
The Bible clearly tells us: “See to it that no one misses the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many” (Hebrews 12:15). Bitterness is dangerous. It not only defiles my heart; it can also become a toxin that infects those around me. So how do we release offense when we feel slighted, marginalized, or unseen for who we truly are?
It feels awful to be misunderstood.
Here is what I have learned to do. First, I allow myself to feel the hurt and seek to understand the offense. I ask myself:
- Was it intentional?
- Do I feel this because of my insecurity?
- Was the person trying to make a point that I need to pay attention to?
- Or is the person just being mean because of their own insecurity?
This process can take time, until my heart settles into a more reasonable understanding. Then comes the hard part: Do I confront the person, or do I let it go? In the past, I have confronted people, and it has not gone well. Most of us do not like being confronted or called to account for our behaviour. Defensiveness is a natural response, and it often leaves no room for resolution. We create stories to protect ourselves—and then we cling to them.
So what 
do we do?
An unresolved offense that grows into bitterness is like a curse the enemy uses to crush us, separate us, and divide us. I may not be able to fix the situation, but I can tend to my own heart. I do that in two steps:
- First, I forgive them in my heart. I speak their names out loud, and I do this again and again—until the hook releases my heart.
- Then, I pray a blessing over that person. Blessings break curses.
Over time, the sting fades and freedom returns. With it comes a renewed resolve: I will not let another offense crush my spirit. We still live in a messy, chaotic world, and each of us sees life through a different lens. May my eyes remain fixed on Jesus, the author and perfecter of my soul. May grace abound in me at all times and in every situation. Thank You, Jesus.
