Blog: brokenness
Posted: September 5, 2025
It’s shocking to walk down Aisle 5 of your favourite grocery store and have to restrain yourself from buying your spouses’ favorite pickles or seasonings. In that moment the harsh reality hits once again; the life you’ve known and loved is gone. It’s a punch in the gut. And now you’re shopping for one instead of two. You get to buy all the items that make you happy, but the happiness has vanished. But happiness has vanished. Another painful moment is buying birthday, anniversary or Christmas cards. You’re drawn to a card that says: “Happy Birthday from Both of Us.” But there is no “both” it is now just you. I loved being a “we” and did not want to reclaim my personal identity. So much of being a couple is intertwined: “we love this restaurant,” “we love vacationing in Europe,” “we love going to church together.” I am no…
Posted in: all alone, alone, becoming, brokenness, companionship, darkness, death, empty soul, finding yourself, From WE to ME, Good Marriage, grief, grief changes us, grief is lonely, grief is unpredictable, happiness, Hope, loneliness, mourn, Move on, new identity, Prayer, suffering, sympathy, trust God for today, weeping
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Posted: July 7, 2025
An emotional lightning bolt hit me on the golf course. I saw the backside of a man about Jack’s age, wearing a Puma golf hat, with black golf shorts and a blue shirt. That’s exactly what Jack always wore. My heart started to pound; I stopped and couldn’t take my eyes off him. I’m not crazy. Of course I knew it wasn’t Jack. My brain knows Jack died a long time ago. But our grief saturated minds can play powerful tricks on our feelings. The desire to see our loved ones again is so powerful, our hearts become irrational with that deep longing. We’re not crazy we’re just sad. Some smells and sounds trigger emotional responses that are quite shocking. Jack and I had a favorite restaurant which is quite expensive, so we went there only on special occasions. Months after Jack died a family member (who didn’t now it…
Posted in: alone, ask God, breathing, brokenness, circumstances, cry, darkness, death, despair, disappointments, emotional recovery, emotional triggers, empathy, Encouragement, feeling bad, grief affects the brain, grief changes us, grief is lonely, grief is misunderstood, grief is unpredictable, Hope, live one day at a time, Making Wise Choices, Overcoming Struggles, refining process, seasons of darkness, Self-compassion, special kind of love, suffering, take care of your heart, time doesn't heal, trauma, we need each other
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Posted: June 3, 2025
I often hear grieving people say: “No one ever told me it would be like this. One moment you feel composed, like you may be able to handle it. The next, a smell, song or the name of a restaurant strikes like lightening.” There is no logic to grief. Nogrie timeline, seven steps or neat stages to follow to get you through the most painful journey you will ever take. I call it the grief monster. It has different colours, voices and moods. It’s like a cycle that loops, jumps, surprises and shifts. Grief is a monster that comes out of nowhere. I believe that is why people shy away from us because they don’t know what to do with us or what to say. It seems all wrong. Of course people want to support us but most often words fall short and well-meaning cliches, Bible verses or quotes feel…
Posted in: adversity, alone, anxiety, brokenness, cry, darkness, disappointments, good shepherd, grief, grief affects the brain, grief changes us, grief is lonely, grief is misunderstood, grief is unpredictable, Hope, hurting world, loneliness, Overcoming Struggles, relationships, resilience, seasons of darkness, suffering
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Posted: May 1, 2025
Never in my lifetime have I seen the faces of so much grief and loss. Not just death, but the loss of divorce, miscarriages, home, business, a child on drugs or in prison, a medical diagnosis, the loss of a hope or dream or even your church or country. When I speak to an audience ask them about their losses. Their answers rock my soul. Most people in grief feel unheard and walk alone.. For the next year I will write about grief and losses with the goal to always bring you to hope. We are not meant to grieve alone. The Bible tells us to: “Mourn with those who mourn” (Romans 12:15). Mourn with those who mourn. I thought my lonely and misunderstood personal struggle of grief was mine to bear…alone. In January of 2023 I posted a Facebook meme that said: “Grief is the loneliest road you’ll ever…
Posted in: all alone, alone, beauty and pain coexist, brokenness, death, disappointments, empathy, empty soul, grief, grief is lonely, grief is misunderstood, healing, honesty, Hope, hurting world, It's going to be OK, loneliness, Overcoming Struggles, pain, relationships, sympathy, tender soul care, unheard and unseen, we need each other
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Posted: March 12, 2023
What does it even mean to be “beyond ordinary?” The last 3 days I’ve been involved in a Global Conference with women around the world from 45 countries with the theme CALLED: BEYOND ORDINARY. I know we would all like to wake up one day, look in the mirror and reflect a woman that is smart, capable, enchanting and beautiful. After hearing many testimonies and keynote speakers, here’s what’ve learned about becoming “Beyond Ordinary.” BECOME UNCOMFORTABLE. Well, that’s not what we want to hear. To become something “more than ordinary” we have to step out of our comfort zone. Often times it’s with fear and trembling as we step into the unknown. Like stepping out of a plane and soaring effortlessly as Miss Wheelchair Canada Vahen King did so courageously. LOVE ME TO DEATH SO THAT HE CAN KISS ME TO LIFE. That’s a radical powerful statement made by Kathy…
Posted in: achievements, be a blessing, be a follower, Beauty through Boldness, beyond ordinary, brokenness, circumstances, Come to Jesus, comfort zones, disappointments, Encouragement, God's creation, God's goodness, God's love, Hope, hurting world, kiss of life, Lord, Overcoming Fear, Overcoming Struggles, pain, praise, seasons of darkness, success, thanksgiving, transformation, trouble, uncomfortable, victory, worship is a weapon
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Posted: April 28, 2019
Christmas 1992 my first husband, Dick presented me with a precious gift, a new leather Bible. Oh the smell and beauty of this grand book. For twenty-seven years, through the death of both of my husbands, and travelling all over North American and beyond, this treasured book never left my side. It’s highlighted with notes, symbols and dates and I can’t perceive being without it. Being hauled around in suitcases, passed around at conferences and thrown into overhead airline bins, over the years my beautiful Bible literally fell apart. Silver duct tape did the trick until December 18th, 2018. I quit fighting the inevitable. I quit fighting the inevitable and took my Bible into a little Book Binding shop on a little side street in Kelowna, British Columbia. The owners were more than eager to help me find a new leather cover. As we passed through the back work area…
Posted in: ask God, brokenness, grief, messes, trust, trust Good
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