Don’t You Care? – by Heidi McLaughlin
Posted: February 9, 2026
“Don’t you care?” Such raw and haunting wods. They imply we feel unheard, unappreciated and invisible. Those words recall a time when I was immersed in a full-time career in a law office, a husband who travelled and two active and self-absorbed teenagers. I had worked all day and yet I knew I needed to provide a delicious and healthy dinner. Every day. In the middle of meal prep I often heard myself slamming cupboards and sighing. I was tired and didn’t anybody notice or care?
Does anybody care?
Many are familiar with the story where Jesus came to visit the home of Mary and Martha. There was Martha slaving away in the kitchen preparing food for company and doing what her culture expected of her. I can feel her angst. Company is coming, she feels distracted and overwhelmed because there is so much to do. And she feels alone. Finally she has had enough and confronts Jesus: “Don’t you care…?” Wouldn’t we love it if the kind and compassionate Jesus responded: “Oh Martha, forgive us, we are being selfish and unsupportive, we’ll be right there to help you.” Instead he gently reminds her that Mary is doing the better thing by sitting at his feet. Ouch.
Who is right and who is wrong?
In that culture it was unacceptable for women to partake in religious teaching and yet Mary was sitting and learning at Jesus’ feet. Again, by His words Jesus came to break all social, and religious barriers. In that moment it was better to spend time with Jesus. Jesus did not admonish Martha; he gently directed her to a place of rest and peace.
I have been a Martha all my life. The one you can count on to get it done and the last one out of the kitchen. Yet this story has impacted me profoundly. Being a Martha is not wrong and being a Mary is not being right. I had to learn to be a Mary. What a sweet privilege to sit at the feet of Jesus every morning to help me find my rhythm for that day. To find that balance of work and rest so that I don’t build up resentment, feeling like a martyr or becoming a grouch. I do not want to be that woman, with hands on hips, shouting to the world: “Does anybody care?”
Jesus cares deeply. He knows that we need Him to show us the way…every day. The world is a harsh and demanding place, and we need to know the power of our “yes” and “no.” We find that power at the feet of Jesus. Slamming cupboards does not get us what we need. Each day we need Jesus to help us find the better, the most excellent way.
Are you Martha or a Mary? Enjoy being both.
