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Where Have All The Relationships Gone?-by Heidi McLaughlin

Posted: May 19, 2019

I live alone, so relationships take top priority. I’ve come to realize it takes sacrificial time on all our parts to make relationships meaningful, intimate and joyful. Sixty years ago people had family and friends over for meals, sitting on the front porch or in the living room and having “interesting” conversations. Sometimes fun and meaningful and other times cringing with awkwardness. But at least people were connecting and talking. There are 24 hours in the day for all of us, but time has become our scarcest and most precious commodity. Let’s unpack T.I.M.E. and see where it takes us.

T.        Take time – In this generation one of our greatest expressions of love is when we make time for each other. You won’t recognize its significance or value until your life falls apart.  My friend Cheryl said this: “Many of my friends have lost loved ones and I’ve been around grief a fair amount in the last number of years. During that time I’ve observed that it’s the healthy relationships in those people’s lives that kept them going. We need our friends.”  Healthy relationships are important to our spiritual, emotional and physical health, and research shows that they also help us to live longer and more joyful lives. 

I.          It’s not about the blood – I have a large blended family that includes children of my bloodline, and many that don’t have my blood flowing throw their veins. But everyone has ALL of my heart. Bloodline doesn’t guarantee love, acceptance and family. It’s our soul and heart connections that make us a family. It’s love shared, sorrow carried and laughter multiplied. 

M.        Model relationships for our children – Children learn about relationships, resolving conflict, forgiveness and power of love through watching adults. Cheryl lets me quote this: “It’s good for children to see what healthy relationships look like with other adults so that they can re-create that with their peers and ultimately their own children. But if I don’t have healthy relationships in my life, where else will my children go?” Children live out what they see modeled for them.  What are we modeling for our children and grandchildren? Do they see us lavish our time on others, or hoard it for ourselves?

E.         Enjoy God’s gift of love – The feeling of love is the most delicious and irresistible feeling on this side of heaven. It’s available to all of us and it’s for us to enjoy. By the way, the number 1 thing we’re all looking for in relationships is for someone to listen to us.  All it takes is 2 ears, one mouth and on heart and lots of TIME. It’s something we all have and can do. It takes intentionality. It’s your choice. 

When we say, ”Were are too busy” in reality we’re saying, “You’re not important enough for me to make time for you.” How sad, to miss out on life’s most magical, fun and meaningful moments.

What are some things you do to build valuable and meaningful relationships?

Posted in: Communication, companionship, Encouragement, Faith, Families, feeling good, Friendship, girlfriends, good conversation, grief, happiness, homes, honesty, joy, Laughter, loneliness, love, recapture your joy, Understanding each other

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