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Women, Love Your Husbands-by Heidi McLaughlin

Posted: March 12, 2018

Respect evokes Happiness

I wrote a marriage blog for four years called the K.I.S.S. (Keep It Simple Sweetheart) Marriage, because I believe in the care and nurture of enjoying a loving marriage. So now that I am a widow why am I still writing about marriages? Because it wrecks my heart when I see husbands and wives not treating each other in ways that brings joy and fulfillment to their lives.

God designed marriage to be good, so go for the good!

Maybe you don’t have the perfect husband, but if he were gone tomorrow, you would treat him differently today. Marriage was not designed to be a power struggle, a wrestling match, or the biggest winner or loser. Marriage was designed to bring out the best in each other; the way God designed us to be. Yes, it takes sandpapering, but that is part of the loving process. Rick Warren in his book “The Purpose Driven Life” asks: “How do you spell love? T.I.M.E.” Take time to get to know each other. Take time to look up from you devices. Take time to listen. Take time to hear each other’s hearts. Take time to express your disappoints and pain.

Take time to grow in God and pray together.

While I am writing this I am looking after three of my grandchildren so that my daughter and son-in-law could get away on a much needed vacation. I do this because I am a cheering advocate that husband and wives need on-on-one time, to reconnect, take time to laugh and to remember the passionate love that compelled them to say: “I do.” After one of these vacations, one of my children said, “Thanks mom for giving us this break, I forgot how much we really liked each other.”

Since the destruction of the Twin Trade Towers we are afraid to leave each other without saying: “Love ya!” Each time we walk out the door or end a phone conversation, we quickly throw in: “Love ya!” Is this our new “good-bye” or do we really mean it? The Bible puts it so well: ““My dear children, let’s not just talk about love, let’s practice real love” (1 John 3:18 MSG). I beseech you my dear women friends, to love your husbands while you still can. Practice loving him in ways that may take you out of your comfort zone, but it will transform your marriage:

  • For the next two months do nothing more than pray every day: “God, teach me how to love my husband the way he needs to be loved.” We all need to be loved in certain ways. Do you know how your husband needs to be loved?
  • Quit trying to make him into something that is comfortable for you. Work on the old cliché: “Accentuate the positive, eliminate the negative.” It works!
  • Do something unusually nice for him. Just because.
  • Start praying together.
  • When you’re around him, listen to the tone of your voice, and observe your body language.
  • Pray for his weaknesses so that he will find victory.

My dear friends, for whatever reason these days my heart aches for marriages that are not enjoying the benefits God designed for you to have. The grass is not greener on the other side, your side just needs a little more fertilizer. Practice real love and enjoy what God has given you. Don’t wait for it to be taken away.

Posted in: Families, fighting, God' Love, Harmony, homes, laughter, listen, love, marriage, pray, Prayer, relationships, time, Understanding each other, weaknesses, winning

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