← Back to Blog


Posted: May 11, 2013

Jack & Heid cropped
There are a few things sadder than watching a marriage disintegrate to the point where a conversation consists of “Pass the peas, please”. The relationship that has brought you together does not simply decay overnight. When couples allow themselves to lose interest in each other, dry rot sets in and eventually the structure disintegrates. From a male perspective, I believe that a man’s wife retains her husband’s interest as she observes some of the following:
1. Allowing for the changes that occur as we become older; dress and attend to yourself in a manner that attracted him to you in the first place. I am not talking about dressing like a “femme fatale” but rather paying attention to neatness for which a husband can be justifiably proud.
2. Retain your intellectual curiosity and ability to carry on meaningful conversations.Contrary to opinion, a husband appreciates a good conversation with an informed spouse.Thus it is essential to keep your spirit and mind fed. It is good to challenge one another in matters of proper eating habits, rest and exercise. A shared activity is often helpful in this regard whether it is walking, biking or use of the local gym.
3. Utilize your intuition and powers of reason to persuade rather than using your emotions to manipulate. While tears may indicate one’s true feelings, a husband begins to shut down when tears are being used as a tactic to simply get one’s own way. I believe that a husband retains high regard for his wife if she is able to discuss the pros and cons in making a decision that affects both of you.
4. A husband has a high need to be considered number one in your life after God. This is above parents, your children and friends. If a husband has any doubt about your loyalty to him, he will soon check out. We just can’t stand the thought of being number two in our wife’s life.
5. Choose friends that will positively enhance your life and challenge you to maintain your highest values. A husband is aware that his wife will empathetically take on the actions, opinions and attitudes common to her closest friends. This has important implications for husbands as they are often drawn into the net of negative male generalizations through friends of a spouse who has been hurt in male-female transactions.
6. With regards to friendships there is one thing that stands alone. Husbands feel very betrayed when intimate matters which, ought to stay between husband and wife, are relayed to friends as grist for speculation and gossip. You would be shocked if you knew how husbands felt about disclosure as it undermines the “respect” which he wants to retain in the community. When a matter is serious, it ought to be taken rather to a professional counselor where a couple’s privacy can be assured.
In conclusion, the retention of love and mutual regard is dependent upon both parties to avoid the pitfalls that draw them apart and press on to bless and build one another up into all that God has designed them to be.

Posted in: Beauty from the Inside Out, Commitment, Communication, Encouragement, Friendship, Good Marriage, Intimacy, Making Wise Choices, Overcoming Struggles, Respect, Understanding each other

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *