BEAUTY TIP #12 – Don’t Spit in the Wind
Posted: February 27, 2010
Don’t spit in the wind.
Living in Lethbridge, Alberta, Canada is a windy proposition. I don’t know how many times my coat got caught in my car door, or the wind knocked me sideways while I was carrying bags of groceries. The trees along the Court House stand at an angle, and it is crucial that you have a hairdo that easily flows backwards. Those struggles are not much fun, and although I loved living in Lethbridge for thirteen years; I never got used to the wind storms.
After the third fierce windy day, employees in our office would start to gnarl at each other, and I was told that by the third day of a full force wind storm, the psychiatric wards were full. There is something mean about a wind that whips at your relentlessly and endlessly.
So I developed a new Heidi’sm. When something seemed futile or mean, I would say, “That’s like spitting in the wind.” My adolescent children would groan and say, “Oh mom, that is such a dumb saying.” Maybe it was-maybe it wasn’t.
I see spitting in the wind like grudges. When we hold a grudge against someone, it is like we are spitting toxins at them, hoping that somehow we will punish them or hope they will come groveling to us for their bad behavior. But I want to ask you, “How many times has someone come to you and cringed and groveled because they recognized they had hurt you or treated you badly?” That’s a fantasy we play in our mind in the middle of the night.
When we hold a grudge, the toxins that we think are spitting at someone else, are actually coming back at us. They are a deadly, heart destruction weapon that is sabotaging our freedom and joy-not theirs. They are probably not even aware of your hurt and getting on joyfully with their own life. I can assure you that poisonous spittle coming back at us is more dangerous than getting our coat caugh in a car door or getting our hairdo blown around in our faces. So what do we do with that grudge?
1. Admit your are hurt.
2. Decide if it is really important to confront the issue, or let it go and get on with your life. Remember, we all do hurt things to other people withour realizing it.
3. Remember, confronting takes a lot of love, wisdom, and right timing. If it is not done with the right motive, and the person you are confronting does not receive your words properly, there is a possibility of damaging the relationship even further.
4. God is the only one who can clean the toxins out of our hearts. FORGIVE that person the way Jesus forgives us for every thing we do. “Be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you” (Ephesians 4:32)
5. Get on with your one and only beautiful life.
When we hang onto a grudge, we are really punishing ourselves and it takes the beauty out of our soul.
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Thanks for that Heidi.
It reminds me of the time (not too long ago) that I went to a cardio class at the gym. I paid money to go, work out, and release a bit of stress. The instructor in my class was very angry with her employer – the gym I was at, at the time.
By the end of the hour, the instructor had talked herself into such a foul mood and worse she had projected her anger onto everyone in the class.
I left feeling deflated and miserable. Sadly our grudges are like bad viruses – they infect others.
Great word picture here, Heidi. I can imagine feeling my own wet saliva hitting my face on a windy day… yuck! Then I thought about what it might be like if I were chewing tobacco!!! Ha, ha!
Thank you for reminding us of the damage that living like this can do, both to others and to ourselves. Wise words in your blog and in you. Please keep sharing with us.
Hugs,
Lesley-Anne