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BEAUTY TIP #21-Be a “Lifter-Upper”

Posted: August 20, 2010


The deadly 3 “D’s”. It starts with discouragement, catapults into despair and may end up in depression. For some unknown reason you ventured into a dark cave and found there was no light to guide you out. Your aching body feels heavy and fatigued. Your mind is ruminating, you can’t focus and you keep chewing over the scene of your mess, failure or loss. I know every one of you reading this has experienced at least one of the deadly “D’s”.  It’s a horrible place to be in, and we need help getting out.

That’s where you come in. Yes YOU!  We all need to take part in being God’s hands and feet on earth to lift up those going through one of the 3 “D’s”. If you are the one going through one of the “D”s right now, I pray that someone reading this blog will jump in to rescue you from the cave. Here is how we can all help.

1. SHOW UP. We need to know that we are not alone in this cave. When people ask me what to do when someone is going through a hard time, my first response is always, “Just show up!” After the death of my husband, this was the greatest gift anyone could give me-just to show up and show me you cared.

2. COVER THEIR BACKS. There is a powerful story of a leader in the bible named Nehemiah. When he was helping to rebuild the wall of the Holy City of Jerusalem he ran into a cave. When the wall was half finished, and the workers were exhausted and discouragement ran rampant. I love what he did. First of all he prayed. Great start for any discouragement. Then God gave him the wisdom to have someone cover every worker’s back. This was to encourage and protect them from harm. So to cover your friend’s back-PRAY and tell them you have their backs covered through the power of prayer.

 3. CHANGE THE WORDS. Our greatest enemy can be us-and the lies we tell ourselves. After a while we begin to believe that: We are worthless, hopeless, you’ve been overlooked, forgotten, why bother trying, just give up. We need someone to come alongside of us and help us change the lies for truth.  God’s word reminds us that this might get us into trouble and He says:”Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will know what God wants you to do, and you will know how good and pleasing and perfect his will really is” (Romans 12:2 NIV). We may be so far gone into the cave that we have forgotten to change the way we think. We need someone to remind us and help us find the truth of the circumstance and hope for the future.

 4. HOLD UP. The bible tells us to: “Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love: (Ephesians 4:2 NIV). The Greek meaning for bearing is to “hold up.” Sometimes we literally have to go and hold up our friends to make sure they are taking care of their bodies by eating properly, sleeping and getting dressed in the mornings. It may seem insignificant but OH so practical and drenched in love.

 5. PRAY. Ok that sounds so simple, but if it was easy everyone would be doing it.  It should be the first thing we do, but often it is the last thought on our cave agenda.  Prayer has the power to shatter the darkness of the cave and bring in the light. If you can’t pray for yourself, ask your friends to help.

 Every one of us has a purpose on this earth. Perhaps today is your time to help someone with one of the deadly 3 “D’s”.



Posted in: Beauty from the Inside Out, Encouragement, Friendship, Making Wise Choices, Overcoming Stuggles

0 responses to “BEAUTY TIP #21-Be a “Lifter-Upper””

  1. Heidi ~

    What a practical post. Definite things we can do for each other, not just vague Christian platitudes. I especially love the one about the lies we tell ourselves … I am overlooked, I am worthless. These words are so prevalent. I have friends right now whose sense of worth remains so crushed they barely know they need help. My heart aches with theirs.

    Your words are so encouraging! Thank you!


  2. Jeannette says:

    Another great post! Thank you for reminding us of what true friendship is all about!

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