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Posted: October 3, 2015

IMG_1694I didn’t know. When a husband loves his wife, it compels her to return respect. When a wife respects her husband, it inspires him to love her. This is the perfect formula for a happy marriage. It took me years to figure this out but I testify it to be absolutely true. The bible says it this way: “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy…” (Ephesians 5:25). It goes on to say: “…and the wife must respect her husband” (Ephesians 5:33). This is a principle that will work in most marriages, because I believe for the most husbands and wives want to extend goodwill and have a happy marriage.

It saddens me to see marriages breaking up because of selfishness and a sense of entitlement that says: “He/she is not making me happy and meeting my needs, and I don’t want to be married anymore.” First of all, we are the only one responsible for our happiness. When we take ownership for our own happiness, it will astound us that when we show respect to our husbands the love that comes back and the happiness we experience,  will be more than the icing on the cake.

Here are 12 examples for showing respect to our husbands:

  1. Give them time to process decisions and conversations. Don’t over talk things. Don’t jump in and take over, this will make them feel stupid and useless.
  2. Support his decisions. If you disagree do so privately and with kindness. Honour his decisions before your friends, family or even the church.
  3. Don’t tell them how to drive. Women may be able to find a shorter route and better way, but when we tell them how to drive it makes them feel incompetent.
  4. Don’t discuss your personal marital issues with your girlfriends. This will makes them feel betrayed and you destroy his trust.
  5. Know his top three needs. If one of them is providing for his family, give him encouragement by letting him know how much you appreciate what he does for your family.
  6. If he comes to talk to you about anything, give him your FULL attention. Put down your phone, stop talking to the children and look at him.
  7. Let him know what makes you happy. Most men want to put a smile on their wife’s face and if he knows he has succeeded, it will make his day,
  8. Respect the fact that he might think a great afternoon with you is going to Home Depot or Tool House. Consider it his way of being romantic.
  9. Put him first. Before the children, the housework, the girlfriends and your present Netflix series.
  10. When he asks you to do something for him, write it down and do it.
  11. Flirt with him in public or in front of your family and friends. It will affirm that you are still attracted to him.
  12. Smile at him a lot, keep yourself physically attractive and don’t remind him of past failures or mistakes he made.

These are just a few ideas and I am sure you can think of many more. Once I realized how much my husband needs my respect, it turned my thinking, conversations and actions upside down. It healed my first marriage, and taught me how to be the happy wife. It’s amazing how this works.

Posted in: Commitment, communicate, companionship, decisions, Encouragement, good conversation, Good Marriage, happiness, happy, Harmony, Intimacy, Listening, Making Wise Choices, power of words, Respect, smile, Uncategorized, Understanding each other

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