← Back to Blog

UNLEASHING THE K.I.S.S. MARRIAGE – “Un-Complicate Your Marriage”

Posted: May 3, 2012

When life is complicated we get irritated and frustrated. When I drive down our highway I am saturated with billboards that tell me how unsatisfying my life is. But I am told that it will be better when I move into the new million dollar subdivision, listen to THIS radio station, have laser surgery, and find freedom by going to THIS restaurant and never again having to do dishes. For the life of me I cannot figure out our 5 remote controls at home and I almost panic when I get a new piece of technology or kitchen appliance because that means I will have to read 77 pages of instructions. The last thing we need is a complicated marriage. Our marriage is supposed to be a haven of peace and joy…a reprieve from the onslaught of our crazy whirlwind, complicated life.

One of the greatest ways to un-complicate your marriage is by letting go a lot of unnecessary stuff. Like:

  1. Quit arguing over unnecessary, non life threatening, energy wasting stuff.
  2. Think about this:  What will it benefit you to be right? Give up the power struggles in your marriage; at the end of the day most wins or loses probably won’t matter a hill of beans.
  3. How about re-wording and ending a disagreement by saying: “You’re probably right.”
  4. Re-think and re- frame your expectations. I said expectations not standards. Everything does not have to be done perfectly or right now. Breathe…let it go….
  5. Ask yourself this question: “Will it matter 10 years from now?”  That question eliminates a lot of clutter.
  6. Instead of getting mad, say something nice. Kindness defuses offenses.
  7. Change the wording in your conversations and re-think your responses when someone asks you to do something, be somewhere or get involved in something. When someone suggests “You should do something”, rephrase it in your mind to, “Yes I COULD do this…I am quite capable, but how will this affect my marriage and family?”
  8. Eliminate the small stuff. Yes you’ve heard this before but now go and do it.
  9. Spend more time finding things to laugh about and do projects that give you pleasure.

10. Stop taking yourself so seriously; nobody else does.

11. Leave past garbage out of your conversations.

12. Make intentional choices to regain the freedom you were created to enjoy. Find the clutter that is hiding your freedom and reclaim it.

Most of us had a longing in our hearts to be married because we believed that “it is good to be married.” God also designed the concept of marriages to “be good.” One way to make them “good again” is to start with some of the basics in life by getting rid of all the unnecessary clutter and noise, and get back to that place of joy and freedom that we were created to enjoy.

The bible tells us in John 8:36 Amp. Version:  “So if the Son liberates you (makes you free men), then you are really and unquestionably free.”

I crave freedom; I believe we all do, but it’s not going to come looking for us, we have to pursue it.

Posted in: Balancing life, Beauty from the Inside Out, Communication, Control, Finding Truth, Freedom, Freedom from Busyness, Friendship, Good Marriage, Hope, Intimacy, Kindness, Life of Jesus, Making Wise Choices, Overcoming Struggles, Patience, Pleasure, Respect, Self-Control, Tension

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *