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Posted: February 22, 2014

Woman looking at man

This is my second marriage, and I have been the only woman on management teams for over 30 years. I believe this qualifies me to take a realistic look at the good qualities in the opposite sex. One comment I hear from women over and over again: “I would rather work with men than women.”  So that shines the spotlight on some of men’s great attributes. Let’s unpack them.

Generally speaking, women like men who:

1.         Are uncomplicated.  Most men are easy going and don’t sweat the small stuff. They are forthright and clear about their thoughts and their words clearly express their expectations.  They don’t use drama or emotions to achieve their goals.

2.         Don’t hang onto disagreements. I like the way men can disagree with each other and not hang onto their hurt feelings. When an issue is resolved, they slap each other on the back and carry on with life. Once they make up their minds about something, they usually stick with it.

3.         Don’t gossip. Most males tend to be less catty than females. I can’t see men sitting around a table gossiping about all their friends and discussing all the details of their friends’ lives. I remember seeing a comedy stint by Brian Reagan where Brian spent 5 hours golfing with his buddy who had just separated from his wife. When Brian got home his wife wanted to know all the details of the separation. Brian didn’t know anything because he never asked. Brian was out golfing, not gossiping.

4.       Acknowledge that we are smart. We love it when men see as more than just a pretty face or good body. We need men to respect the fact that we are smart, we can run companies, fix computers, juggle children and career and so much more.

 5.      Are great rescuers.  Men love to rescue a woman in distress. I wonder how much of this characteristic comes from the early cave man days where men had to go out and provide the food and to take care of his woman.  He was in charge and I believe that is where a man shines the brightest.

6.       Can change the temperature in the room.   I don’t just mean the thermostat but the emotional temperature of a woman. We women can get so overwrought with our emotions that sometimes we lose perspective of the reality of a situation. A man can enter into the situation and apply a unique point of view through a different logical solution. I have lost track of the number of times my husband has brought a healthy perspective and good judgment back into my emotional, distorted thinking.

7.         Are fixers. I know this can drive us insane when we are immersed in telling our stories and the man is not really listening to all our emotion and is already on track on how to “fix the situation.” But we love it when they can fix something or offer solutions for something that is actually broken. I absolutely love it when my husband “fixes” my golf shoes, light switches, washing machines, the TV channel and anything around the house or yard that seems too difficult for me. Let’s face it we also love it when they “fix” our complicated schedules and relationships.

8.         Have strength. Yes, men love to prance around the local gym and show off their muscles and lift heavy machinery. Just watch a Ford Truck commercial on TV and you’ll know what I’m talking about. I am focusing in on their confidence and strength in protecting us when we are in a vulnerable and complicated situation.  Please remember girls that men love it when we lean on them to help us.

9.         Have a very tender heart. I don’t think we realize the depth of tenderness in a man’s heart. He has been taught that it’s not cool to let his tears or emotions show, but I know for a fact that behind all that bravado and strength lays a very tender heart.  I am deeply moved when a see a man with tears in his eyes.

10.        Shine when they know they are in control. We love it when they carry in the groceries, check the oil gauge on the car, open a jar of pickles or fix the 5 different remote controls for the T. V. When men know we look to them to be the providers and…yes fixers, their shoulders pull back and they emerge as Superman of the day.  Let’s face it, when this happens all we can do is stand back, admire and melt.

11.        Treat women with courtesy. Oh how we love it when our man opens a door for us, pulls out a chair, hold our hands to cross the street or help us jump over a mud puddle…  I love it that my husband makes coffee for me every morning and polishes my shoes. I know of a woman whose husband warms her housecoat for her in the mornings. It’s those simple, “old fashioned” courtesies that turn our men into every day heroes.

 I hope these ten points will help you to look at the man in your life through different eyes.  Why not take one or two of these items as suggestions to tell him TODAY how much you admire him for who he is.  Watch his shoulders straighten up and his face light up.


Posted in: Communication, companionship, Differences, Friendship, fUN, Good Marriage, Intimacy, intimacy destroyer, love, Making Wise Choices, Overcoming Struggles, Pleasure, power of words, sensitive, Uncategorized, Understanding each other

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