Blog: Resentment

UNLEASHING THE K.I.S.S. MARRIAGE-“Cutting down the Male Species”

Posted: June 25, 2011

This was one of the most bizarre stories I ever heard. My son-in-law Tim was telling me how he grows hybrid canola. This is what he told me, “Hybrid canola is grown in rows with the ‘females’ in one row, and the ‘males’ in adjacent rows.  Then they import honey bees and leafcutter bees to pollinate the canola.  After pollination is complete, the ‘male’ rows are mowed out, since they do not produce the desired type of seed.”  This seems to be the sequence of events in many marriages. Man and woman fall in love, they pollinate (have babies) and once the male is no longer useful, he is being mowed down. I don’t believe I am being to brazen by saying this so bluntly, because I have heard women “mowing down men” in various, cutting ways. Once men no longer meet our expectations, we can cut them down by…

Posted in: Balancing life, Beauty from the Inside Out, Communication, Encouragement, Expectations, Finding Truth, Forgiveness, Good Marriage, Intimacy, Kindness, Making Wise Choices, Pain Pleasure, Resentment, Understanding each other, Valued

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UNLEASHING THE K.I.S.S. MARRIAGE – Expectations

Posted: June 4, 2011

 Every one of us is a minefield full of treasures. Most of those minefields are pain, frustration, disappointment, bitterness and anger because of unmet expectations. So how does that turn into a treasure?  Follow me along on a treasure hunt. To do that I need to tell you a little story.  There was a man who ran across American, coast to coast. When he completed this arduous, compelling and harsh task, he was met by the news media, with TV cameras and microphones being shoved into his face. The reporters asked him, “What was the hardest part of this year long trek? Was it the heat in the summer? Was it the fatigue? Was it the loneliness? Was it the relentless distance?” The runner replied without any hesitation, “No, it was the sand in my shoes.”  Ok what does that have to do with expectations?  Everything! When we have expectations,…

Posted in: Balancing life, Beauty from the Inside Out, Beauty through Boldness, Beauty Unleashed, Communication, Encouragement, Expectations, Fear, Finding Truth, Forgiveness, Friendship, Good Marriage, Hope, Intimacy, Kindness, Life of Jesus, Making Wise Choices, Pain Pleasure, Resentment

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UNLEASHING THE K.I.S.S. MARRIAGE-The Deceptive Gucci Luggage

Posted: May 24, 2011

“Have you left your luggage unattended at any time?” This is one of the questions the girl at the airline check-in counter asks before she allows me to plunk my luggage onto her conveyer belt.  I know this simple, ridiculous question is for my safety; to protect me from terrorism or any other harm.   Yet so many of us, before we say our “I do’s” and get ready to fly into our marriage; don’t ask each other that straightforward, life saving question.  We arrive at the marriage alter dragging our gorgeous, deceptive Gucci luggage which holds all of our garbage and secrets. There probably has not been any reason to unzip the baggage; after all you have both been in a magical, endorphin induced courtship. Now the day to day routine of life begins with its challenges and obstacles, and before you know it you are pulling the luggage zipper…

Posted in: Balancing life, Beauty from the Inside Out, Beauty Unleashed, Communication, Encouragement, Expectations, False Belief Systems, Finding Truth, Forgiveness, Friendship, Good Marriage, Hope, Intimacy, Making Wise Choices, Pain Pleasure, Resentment, Understanding each other

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UNLEASHING THE K.I.S.S. MARRIAGE – “Think Again”

Posted: May 6, 2011

For over twenty-five years I have been the only woman in the Boardroom and in Manager’s Meetings.  You would think that by now I would know how to phrase my questions and conversations so that I can engage men in productive and meaningful conversations. Think again. Apparently not;I am constantly learning. This week my question was, “Hey guys, I need to order a cake for the Retirement Party; should we get fancy or funny?” They looked at me as though I was Neanderthal woman, turned away from me and broke into animated conversation with each other about the hockey play-offs. That ended the conversation. If the majority of men are interested in talking about cakes; think again. In all my blogs about marriage, please know there is always a disclaimer. Keep in mind that I am writing about men in general. There are certain men that if you asked them…

Posted in: Beauty through Boldness, Encouragement, Expectations, Expectations, Finding Truth, Forgiveness, Good Marriage, Hope, Intimacy, Kindness, Making Wise Choices, Overcoming Struggles, Pain Pleasure, Resentment, Uncategorized, Understanding each other

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UNLEASHING THE K.I.S.S. MARRIAGE – “ASK”

Posted: April 22, 2011

For many years, when my alarm went off at 6:00 a.m.; I would start to pray. “God, please help me to get out of this bed. Help me get one foot on the floor and then the other one. Please God help me to start this day.” Those were the days when I was employed full time, taxied two children to endless activities, baked my own bread, sewed my own clothes, taught Sunday School…in other words; every morning I had to go into the telephone booth and change into the image of  Super-woman of this present generation. On Saturday mornings while the children were cuddled in their pajamas, munching cereal, playing with the dog and my husband watching basketball, any person watching this peaceful family scene would probably sigh and comment on this blissful Rockwell family. Wrong. In the meantime I was in the kitchen banging pots, dragging out the…

Posted in: Balancing life, Beauty from the Inside Out, Encouragement, Expectations, Finding Truth, Freedom from Busyness, Good Marriage, Hope, Intimacy, Kindness, Making Wise Choices, Overcoming Struggles, Pain Pleasure, Resentment, Uncategorized, Understanding each other

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UNLEASHING THE K.I.S.S. MARRIAGE – Pain or Pleasure

Posted: April 1, 2011

Humans seek pleasure. Most people believe that this essential pleasure will be found in a marriage relationship and that it will ultimately fulfill their soul craving for acceptance, understanding and of course…love. This powerful, plan was created by God and He said that “it was good.” Something has gone awry, or has it? For the next few months I will be writing on K.I.S.S. (Keep it simple sweetheart) simple, yet powerful steps to build the kind of marriage that God intended us to enjoy. Marriages can indeed be the joyful, fulfilling relationships God intended them to be. I was married at nineteen, a young clueless woman, thinking that my husband would make me happy and enrich my life. I had no one to mentor, or teach me as to what it takes to build a marriage. I went through years of resentment, pain and feeling I had made a dreadful…

Posted in: Beauty from the Inside Out, Beauty through Boldness, Expectations, Good Marriage, Hope, Making Wise Choices, Overcoming Struggles, Pain Pleasure, Resentment

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BEAUTY TIP #38 – CHOOSE…and Your Feelings Will Follow

Posted: March 26, 2011

We are obsessed with knowledge.  Then why, to recapture an old phrase, are we “going to hell in a hand basket?” I won’t list all the statistics and atrocities; but you know from your own area of influence what I’m talking about. We seem to be getting smarter but yet insensible. The answer is really quite simple. Knowledge without action = zero.  When we come to an intersection in life that begs action, simply knowing the right answer but not doing anything about it perpetuates more pain, rejection, disappointment, anger, and resentment. As Albert Einstein said, “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.” You can talk about writing a book year after year, but if you don’t hit the SEND button on your computer, you will never know if you will be a published author. You can speak endlessly about being a better mother,…

Posted in: Beauty through Boldness, Encouragement, Fear, Finding Truth, Forgiveness, Friendship, Hope, Making Wise Choices, Overcoming Struggles, Resentment

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BEAUTY TIP #36 – Loneliness

Posted: February 25, 2011

These words made the hair stand up on the back of my neck. Loneliness is ignorance. What an irreverent and accusing comment about one of the most painful and heart wrenching human conditions.  This citation (which came out of a commentary) had such a huge impact on me that I chose to study it in greater depth to try to understand the author’s point of view.  It has been a startling revelation. Loneliness is in fact ignorance. We were created to be connected to our Heavenly Father and to other people; that is the only way we can function in this world if we want to live fulfilling, joyful lives.  Nature abhors a vacuum and will do anything to fill it.  Water flows into any empty crevice.  Fires explode with a vengeance when it has produced a vacuum. When you and I are hungry we need food. When our souls…

Posted in: Beauty from the Inside Out, Beauty through Boldness, Encouragement, Finding Truth, Friendship, Hope, Making Wise Choices, Overcoming Fear, Overcoming Struggles, Resentment, Uncategorized

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BEAUTY TIP #34 – Sand in my Shoes

Posted: January 29, 2011

The feeling of being barefoot and squishing sand between my toes evokes a giddiness of freedom. If I nudge near the ocean just near enough to get the occasional splash of gorgeous, turquoise sea water, and the sun warming my cheeks; I feel like a child again. Free to frolic, run, laugh and giggle. Being barefoot in the sand unleashes a brazen abandon that I find in no other place. I cannot get this freedom when I wear shoes. It is blatantly unrealistic of me to think that I can frolic in the sand and not expect to get sand in my shoes. Those irritating grains of sand that will find that little crevice and rub away at me until I either take off my shoes or leave the beach. Annoying, hurtful and disappointing!  An unrealistic expectation is like an irritating grain of sand-a silent thief that will rob us…

Posted in: Beauty from the Inside Out, Beauty through Boldness, Expectations, False Belief Systems, Finding Truth, Hope, Making Wise Choices, Overcoming Struggles, Resentment

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BEAUTY TIP #12 – Don’t Spit in the Wind

Posted: February 27, 2010

Don’t spit in the wind. Living in Lethbridge, Alberta, Canada is a windy proposition. I don’t know how many times my coat got caught in my car door, or the wind knocked me sideways while I was carrying bags of groceries. The trees along the Court House stand at an angle, and it is crucial that you have a hairdo that easily flows backwards. Those struggles are not much fun, and although I loved living in Lethbridge for thirteen years; I never got used to the wind storms. After the third fierce windy day, employees in our office would start to gnarl at each other, and I was told that by the third day of a full force wind storm, the psychiatric wards were full. There is something mean about a wind that whips at your relentlessly and endlessly. So I developed a new Heidi’sm. When something seemed futile or…

Posted in: Beauty from the Inside Out, Resentment

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