Blog: Overcoming Struggles

UNLEASHING THE K.I.S.S. MARRIAGE- “Checkin In”

Posted: August 8, 2011

Dentists remind us of our checks ups so that we don’t get rotten teeth; we go to the doctor so that he can find diseases before they kill us, and girls; we need to have regular mammograms. If we don’t schedule these assessments, one day we may find our bodies in need of serious medical care. It’s no different with our cars or pets; so why would we overlook the most valuable part of our lives on this planet…our husbands? I did a check-in with my husband on our vineyard walk this week, and realized we had been missing a fun component that got lost in the distractions and demands of life; our trips to Seattle for the Washington Huskies football games.  As soon as I mentioned this forgotten dream, his face lit up like a socket; and the minute we walked in the door of our home he got…

Posted in: Balancing life, Beauty from the Inside Out, Beauty Unleashed, Communication, Encouragement, Expectations, Finding Truth, Forgiveness, Freedom from Busyness, Friendship, Good Marriage, Hope, Intimacy, Kindness, Making Wise Choices, Overcoming Struggles, Tension, Understanding each other, Valued

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UNLEASHING THE K.I.S.S. MARRIAGE – “Hands Off”

Posted: July 2, 2011

I’m going to give you a radical challenge that just may change the dynamics of your marriage. For the next 30 days, let’s agree to do this: “Hands off” your spouse. Here are some examples of what I mean. If your husband forgot to put out the garbage, don’t berate him. Let it go and take it out yourself.  You may say something like this, “Honey, I saw that you forgot to put out the garbage, but don’t fret; I took it out for you.” Your husband is watching sports but he should be helping you bathe the children or clean up the kitchen. Remember I said radical!  Go over to him and say, “Sweetheart, I am more than happy to clean up the kitchen myself and bathe the children. You enjoy your football game. By the way, can I bring you a cold drink?” Don’t manipulate him to come…

Posted in: Balancing life, Beauty through Boldness, Communication, Encouragement, Finding Truth, Forgiveness, Good Marriage, Hope, Intimacy, Kindness, Life of Jesus, Making Wise Choices, Overcoming Struggles, Pain Pleasure, Resentment, Uncategorized, Understanding each other, Valued

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UNLEASHING THE K.I.S.S. MARRIAGE-Pay Attention to the Tension

Posted: June 10, 2011

Tension in a marriage can be good. But by the time some people finish reading this blog about tension they may be shouting, “Get rid of the jerk, he/she’s not worth it.” Apparently they were worth it at one time; the day you were both all dressed up in your finest attire, surrounded by family and friends and declaring your love for each other for the “rest of your lives.”  Our modern day lifestyle plays havoc with our marriages; especially during the years where we are cultivating our careers, nurturing our children, trying to stay in the black in our bank accounts and carving out some fun recreational activities. I believe that much of the tension arises by both spouses feeling exhausted, overwhelmed, frustrated and then angry. Instead of throwing in the towel and saying, “I don’t love you anymore, and I’m leaving”…see the tension as a golden opportunity for…

Posted in: Balancing life, Beauty from the Inside Out, Beauty through Boldness, Communication, Expectations, Finding Truth, Forgiveness, Good Marriage, Intimacy, Kindness, Overcoming Struggles, Overwhelmed and Undervalued, Tension, Uncategorized, Understanding each other, Valued

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UNLEASHING THE K.I.S.S. MARRIAGE – “Think Again”

Posted: May 6, 2011

For over twenty-five years I have been the only woman in the Boardroom and in Manager’s Meetings.  You would think that by now I would know how to phrase my questions and conversations so that I can engage men in productive and meaningful conversations. Think again. Apparently not;I am constantly learning. This week my question was, “Hey guys, I need to order a cake for the Retirement Party; should we get fancy or funny?” They looked at me as though I was Neanderthal woman, turned away from me and broke into animated conversation with each other about the hockey play-offs. That ended the conversation. If the majority of men are interested in talking about cakes; think again. In all my blogs about marriage, please know there is always a disclaimer. Keep in mind that I am writing about men in general. There are certain men that if you asked them…

Posted in: Beauty through Boldness, Encouragement, Expectations, Expectations, Finding Truth, Forgiveness, Good Marriage, Hope, Intimacy, Kindness, Making Wise Choices, Overcoming Struggles, Pain Pleasure, Resentment, Uncategorized, Understanding each other

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UNLEASHING THE K.I.S.S. MARRIAGE – “ASK”

Posted: April 22, 2011

For many years, when my alarm went off at 6:00 a.m.; I would start to pray. “God, please help me to get out of this bed. Help me get one foot on the floor and then the other one. Please God help me to start this day.” Those were the days when I was employed full time, taxied two children to endless activities, baked my own bread, sewed my own clothes, taught Sunday School…in other words; every morning I had to go into the telephone booth and change into the image of  Super-woman of this present generation. On Saturday mornings while the children were cuddled in their pajamas, munching cereal, playing with the dog and my husband watching basketball, any person watching this peaceful family scene would probably sigh and comment on this blissful Rockwell family. Wrong. In the meantime I was in the kitchen banging pots, dragging out the…

Posted in: Balancing life, Beauty from the Inside Out, Encouragement, Expectations, Finding Truth, Freedom from Busyness, Good Marriage, Hope, Intimacy, Kindness, Making Wise Choices, Overcoming Struggles, Pain Pleasure, Resentment, Uncategorized, Understanding each other

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UNLEASHING THE K.I.S.S. MARRIAGE – 3 MAIN THINGS

Posted: April 15, 2011

Once the chemical magic wears off in a relationship, we get into the nuts and bolts of what makes us tick. There has to be more to a fulfilling home life than the grinding routine of vacuuming dog hairs, running children to soccer, paying the mortgage and fertilizing the grass. If we don’t know what makes our spouses’ hearts pound, gives them fulfillment and spurs them on to become better people, we miss the mark in what marriage was intended to be. One of the hardest questions we will ask each other is this, “What are your 3 greatest needs?” We may actually think this is a dumb, easy question, but in fact it is the most essential one you will ever ask your spouse AND yourself. We all have deep emotional needs, physical, spiritual needs, that if they are not met, we will slowly die inside. So first ask…

Posted in: Beauty from the Inside Out, Encouragement, Expectations, Friendship, Good Marriage, Intimacy, Making Wise Choices, Overcoming Struggles, Pain Pleasure

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UNLEASHING THE K.I.S.S. MARRIAGE – Pain or Pleasure

Posted: April 1, 2011

Humans seek pleasure. Most people believe that this essential pleasure will be found in a marriage relationship and that it will ultimately fulfill their soul craving for acceptance, understanding and of course…love. This powerful, plan was created by God and He said that “it was good.” Something has gone awry, or has it? For the next few months I will be writing on K.I.S.S. (Keep it simple sweetheart) simple, yet powerful steps to build the kind of marriage that God intended us to enjoy. Marriages can indeed be the joyful, fulfilling relationships God intended them to be. I was married at nineteen, a young clueless woman, thinking that my husband would make me happy and enrich my life. I had no one to mentor, or teach me as to what it takes to build a marriage. I went through years of resentment, pain and feeling I had made a dreadful…

Posted in: Beauty from the Inside Out, Beauty through Boldness, Expectations, Good Marriage, Hope, Making Wise Choices, Overcoming Struggles, Pain Pleasure, Resentment

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BEAUTY TIP #38 – CHOOSE…and Your Feelings Will Follow

Posted: March 26, 2011

We are obsessed with knowledge.  Then why, to recapture an old phrase, are we “going to hell in a hand basket?” I won’t list all the statistics and atrocities; but you know from your own area of influence what I’m talking about. We seem to be getting smarter but yet insensible. The answer is really quite simple. Knowledge without action = zero.  When we come to an intersection in life that begs action, simply knowing the right answer but not doing anything about it perpetuates more pain, rejection, disappointment, anger, and resentment. As Albert Einstein said, “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.” You can talk about writing a book year after year, but if you don’t hit the SEND button on your computer, you will never know if you will be a published author. You can speak endlessly about being a better mother,…

Posted in: Beauty through Boldness, Encouragement, Fear, Finding Truth, Forgiveness, Friendship, Hope, Making Wise Choices, Overcoming Struggles, Resentment

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BEAUTY TIP #37 – “Wide Awake and Curious”

Posted: March 16, 2011

Many of my readers know that I have shown up at work wearing two different shoes. Obviously I was still sleepwalking. I had a boss that constantly reminded me, “The best way to succeed is to PAY ATTENTION to the details.” That expression resonated in my brain and to this day I focus on having a curious perspective on life. Try to focus in on details when you are on an airplane flying at 30,000 feet. All you can see is blotches, lines and squares. Travelling on a hi-speed bullet train in France allows you to see clearer outlines and pictures but no details. Driving slower in a car; is better. Walking is good. Stopping is vital. We have to remember that to succeed, emerge and blossom in our spiritual journey we have to pay attention and “taste and see that the Lord is good…” (Psalm 34:8 NIV).  SEE AND…

Posted in: Beauty from the Inside Out, Beauty Unleashed, Encouragement, Expectations, Finding Truth, Freedom from Busyness, Hope, Making Wise Choices, Overcoming Struggles

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BEAUTY TIP #36 – Loneliness

Posted: February 25, 2011

These words made the hair stand up on the back of my neck. Loneliness is ignorance. What an irreverent and accusing comment about one of the most painful and heart wrenching human conditions.  This citation (which came out of a commentary) had such a huge impact on me that I chose to study it in greater depth to try to understand the author’s point of view.  It has been a startling revelation. Loneliness is in fact ignorance. We were created to be connected to our Heavenly Father and to other people; that is the only way we can function in this world if we want to live fulfilling, joyful lives.  Nature abhors a vacuum and will do anything to fill it.  Water flows into any empty crevice.  Fires explode with a vengeance when it has produced a vacuum. When you and I are hungry we need food. When our souls…

Posted in: Beauty from the Inside Out, Beauty through Boldness, Encouragement, Finding Truth, Friendship, Hope, Making Wise Choices, Overcoming Fear, Overcoming Struggles, Resentment, Uncategorized

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