Blog: Overcoming Struggles

UNLEASHING THE K.I.S.S. MARRIAGE – Climbing the Christmas Hill

Posted: December 18, 2011

A number of years ago I had an insightful, explosive conversation with a group of men that I work with.  It started out as a simple conversation about Christmas preparations. It got more specific as we started to define “what the women do, and the things men do to help out with all the responsibilities.” It got animated and intense as the men got defensive about helping out and then all of a sudden it got real quiet.  One of the men made this statement, “I don’t do Christmas stuff; on Christmas morning I show up!”  I had to breathe and tell myself, “Back up Heidi and walk away…walk away!” Generally speaking, for many women Christmas preparations have become an intense journey of “climbing the Christmas Hill.” It starts somewhere in November (or earlier if you’re more organized than I am) and begins with the climb towards completing all the…

Posted in: Balancing life, Beauty from the Inside Out, Communication, Control, Encouragement, Freedom from Busyness, Good Marriage, Hope, Intimacy, Kindness, Life of Jesus, Making Wise Choices, Overcoming Struggles, Pain Pleasure, Patience, Resentment, Respect, Tension, Understanding each other, Valued

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UNLEASHING THE K.I.S.S. MARRIAGE-“Do you Hear Me?”

Posted: December 2, 2011

This is a guest post from a young woman that I have been mentoring for the past 15 years. Cheryl Klippenstein and her husband Rod are the beautiful parents of 3 boys. I love the way they are raising their boys, not only to know God, but guide them to  become young men who will exemplify the beautiful and powerful qualities that God has given them. You will love Cheryl’s story; because I think each one of us has been there.  It was supposed to be a great weekend.  My husband was away with the military so I had planned a fun weekend with my three boys.  I had rented a movie for Friday night and then on Saturday we were going for a play and lunch date at a friend’s house. Sunday would be church and a quiet afternoon of football and some games. Then everything changed at supper when my oldest son…

Posted in: Balancing life, Beauty through Boldness, Beauty Unleashed, Communication, Encouragement, Expectations, Finding Truth, Forgiveness, Good Marriage, Hope, Intimacy, Kindness, Making Wise Choices, Overcoming Struggles, Respect, Tension, Understanding each other

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UNLEASHING THE K.I.S.S. MARRIAGE – When Life Squeezes You

Posted: November 22, 2011

“What comes out of you when life squeezes you?” I think about that quite a bit actually, because I’ve had a bit of “squeezing” going on in my life. No matter how I act, or “fake it until I make it”…when life squeezes me, the REAL ME SHOWS UP! It’s not always pretty, but it is the truth. How does this reality affect your marriage; because life can be tough. ©       You find out a child has an addiction. ©       The balance in the bank account is so much lower than you anticipated. ©       You find out your spouse had an affair, or a friend deceived you. ©       Your career change is so much harder than anticipated. ©       Your spouse will not take on spiritual leadership. ©       You found pornographic sites on your spouse’s computer. ©       Some you love-dies. ©       You lost your job. ©       You got a life threatening…

Posted in: Balancing life, Beauty from the Inside Out, Beauty through Boldness, Communication, Encouragement, Expectations, Fear, Finding Truth, Forgiveness, Freedom, Friendship, Good Marriage, Intimacy, Kindness, Life of Jesus, Making Wise Choices, Obligations and Offenses, Overcoming Struggles, Pain Pleasure, Resentment, Respect, Tension, Uncategorized, Understanding each other

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UNLEASHING THE K.I.S.S. MARRIAGE – Manipulation or Influence

Posted: November 13, 2011

Women can be powerful, influential leaders in society; but especially in the home. From the time we were little girls, we have learned some tricks to getting what we want.  We may have heard words like, “Oh my, Susie you are so pretty.” So we learn to use our beauty to entice and meet our needs. Or we may have heard, “You are so smart…athletic…creative…happy…”, and then we may have learned to use these power tools to manipulate people to provide things to make us happy or to feel better about ourselves. Manipulation in a marriage has the potential to be a deadly tool that may end up boomeranging and cause built up resentment and hostility in your marriage and family. Manipulation:I once heard a well known speaker/author-namely Beth Moore, say that “Anything we have to manipulate is rarely ours to keep.” Those words have been seared into my soul…

Posted in: Beauty from the Inside Out, Beauty Unleashed, Communication, Control, Encouragement, Fear, Freedom, Friendship, Good Marriage, Hope, Intimacy, Kindness, Overcoming Struggles, Pain Pleasure, Resentment, Respect, Tension, Uncategorized, Understanding each other, Valued

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UNLEASHING THE K.I.S.S. MARRIAGE – Lunch Boxes and Roles

Posted: November 6, 2011

I had a fascinating encounter with one of my colleagues last week. As I walked by his work area I saw him pulling items out of his lunch cooler and describing each item to a customer.  The encounter looked so intriguing that I was curious to see what all the fuss was about. I went up to his counter and say, “So Colin (not his real name), what’s going on here?”  His face lit up and he could hardly wait to show me his lunch. “Look at these barbecued ribs, a salad with homemade dressing on the side and real bacon bits. And look, here are roasted potatoes, a drink, cutlery, salt and pepper and a little dessert.” My mouth hung open and I said, “Wow, you go to a lot of trouble with your lunches.” “Oh no”, he responded, “My wife always packs my lunch. She’s amazing!” Now my…

Posted in: Balancing life, Beauty from the Inside Out, Communication, Control, Encouragement, Expectations, Finding Truth, Forgiveness, Freedom, Freedom from Busyness, Good Marriage, Hope, Intimacy, Kindness, Life of Jesus, Making Wise Choices, Overcoming Struggles, Patience, Resentment, Respect, Understanding each other, Valued

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UNLEASHING THE K.I.S.S. MARRIAGE-“Broken or Blended – Part 2”

Posted: October 2, 2011

Strangely enough whether a second marriage is the product of divorce or death, they are indeed different but both are painful. When a spouse has died the marriage is still painful but somewhatl easier because everyone involved does not have to deal with rejection. Blended families that emerge out of divorce, have to deal with anger, rejection, disappointment, regrets, resentment…only to mention a few. In both cases, the blending of families in a second or third marriage is hard, because change is hard. One of the greatest gifts you can give you new blended family is:  1. Make sure you have dealt with your own painful issues so that you are not dragging a lot of baggage into this new relationship.  2. Acknowledge that other people involved may still be suffering with any of the emotions I listed above.  3. Be aware and willing to help the members of the family…

Posted in: Balancing life, Beauty from the Inside Out, Beauty through Boldness, Communication, Encouragement, Expectations, Finding Truth, Forgiveness, Freedom, Friendship, Good Marriage, Hope, Intimacy, Kindness, Life of Jesus, Making Wise Choices, Overcoming Struggles, Pain Pleasure, Patience, Resentment, Tension, Uncategorized, Understanding each other, Valued

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UNLEASHING THE K.I.S.S. MARRIAGE-“Home Depot and Tool Time”

Posted: September 11, 2011

When Tool Place opened up in Kelowna, my son-in-law Tim said that, “the highlight of his visit would have been to spend one whole day at Tool Place.” My brain almost ached when I heard that; because that would have been absolute torture for me. I don’t like tools, gadgets or putting together anything that involves a tool or piece of machinery. Tonight on TV I watched Extreme Makeover and again, I saw the look of delight and the adrenaline high on the men’s faces as they drove huge semis right through someone’s home.  I completely understand now; this is what excites men and gets their jets going.   So ladies, let’s not be surprised when you get a text message from your husband or significant other the day before Valentine’s Day that says, “Hey Honey, what can I get you for Valentine’s Day?” We have to understand that this is…

Posted in: Balancing life, Beauty from the Inside Out, Beauty through Boldness, Beauty Unleashed, Communication, Encouragement, Expectations, Finding Truth, Freedom, Friendship, Good Marriage, Hope, Intimacy, Kindness, Making Wise Choices, Overcoming Struggles, Pain Pleasure, Patience, Understanding each other, Valued

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UNLEASHING THE K.I.S.S. MARRIAGE –“Fatal Distraction”

Posted: September 5, 2011

  Just in the last week several people have died because they were distracted while driving a motor vehicle.  Recent statistics show that many motor vehicle accidents are no longer due to alcohol; but because the driver is distracted. Some of the distractions listed were, of all things, watching TV, texting, on the phone, reading or just not paying attention. Bottom line; because of a distraction they died.  Our marriages are bombarded with that same game of jeopardy. When we recognize that this little piece of wires and plastic, (our cell phones, iPads or computers) takes precedence over “eyeball to eyeball” conversations, we’re on our way to a marriage wreck.  I have witnessed couples out on a dinner date and the husband (or wife) looking at the top of each other’s heads as they are clicking away on text messages or checking their e-mails or Face book messages. Really, can this…

Posted in: Balancing life, Beauty from the Inside Out, Communication, Control, Encouragement, Expectations, Finding Truth, Forgiveness, Freedom from Busyness, Friendship, Good Marriage, Intimacy, Kindness, Life of Jesus, Making Wise Choices, Overcoming Struggles, Overwhelmed and Undervalued, Pain Pleasure, Resentment, Tension, Understanding each other, Valued

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UNLEASHING THE K.I.S.S. MARRIAGE –“Fences/Freedom – Part 2”

Posted: August 28, 2011

I saw the movie “The Help” this past week, and once again I saw and felt the burning passion in all of us to be free. Toward the end of the movie, one of the main characters, Aibileen finds the courage to stand up to the self-serving, manipulating, big bad Hilly Holbrook. Aibileen boldly claims that through the process of being able to speak about her life and bring her pain into the open, it validated her as a person and she found her voice. Those words were a spear into my heart because they are so true. When we are validated and accepted for who God created us to be, we find the confidence to speak up and defend our self worth. When we discover our self worth; it unleashes confidence and freedom.  I believe God puts two imperfect people together to help them to chisel their characters into…

Posted in: Balancing life, Beauty from the Inside Out, Beauty through Boldness, Beauty Unleashed, Communication, Control, Encouragement, Expectations, Finding Truth, Forgiveness, Freedom, Friendship, Good Marriage, Hope, Intimacy, Kindness, Life of Jesus, Making Wise Choices, Overcoming Struggles, Pain Pleasure, Patience, Tension, Understanding each other, Valued

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UNLEASHING THE K.I.S.S. MARRIAGE –“Fences/Freedom – Part 1”

Posted: August 19, 2011

When someone in society breaks the law, the greatest punishment we can give them is to put them into prison. Lock them up; take away their freedom. Ask yourself this question right now, and try to visualize the answer; “What would my greatest freedom look like today?” If you have an answer to that question, let me ask you another question. “Is that picture of freedom within the boundaries of your marriage?” One of the greatest joys we can experience in this life is to be free in who God created us to be. Jesus Christ died on the cross to set us free from our self imposed prisons of guilt, shame and punishment. Yet, without realizing it, we create our own prisons in our marriages with that ugly word, control. To some degree we are all little control freaks. We have a vision of what life/marriage/husbands/children should look like,…

Posted in: Balancing life, Beauty from the Inside Out, Beauty Unleashed, Communication, Control, Fear, Freedom, Freedom from Busyness, Friendship, Good Marriage, Hope, Intimacy, Kindness, Life of Jesus, Making Wise Choices, Overcoming Struggles, Resentment, Tension, Uncategorized, Understanding each other

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