Blog: Overcoming Struggles

UNLEASHING THE K.I.S.S. MARRIAGE-“What my 2 Husbands Taught Me” (Part 1)

Posted: October 22, 2012

Intimacy unleashes unexpected and strange gifts. At this juncture in life I consider myself mature enough to be able to look back in my marriages and realize how these sacred unions have made me a better person. But, this learning curve was not without some excruciating, self inflicted pain. Fact is, when we take the time for some self examination of our weaknesses and ugliness, it is never pretty. Marriage can be like the sandpaper that rubs off all our pretenses to reveal our true self. After 28 years of marriage with my first husband, before he tragically died on the basketball floor 2 weeks before Christmas, and now 16 years into my new marriage, I believe I have gained some crucial insight into who I am and what will make me a better, nicer and more loving person. Here is what I have learned: Cut the drama. Men can’t…

Posted in: Beauty from the Inside Out, Beauty Unleashed, Communication, Encouragement, Expectations, Finding Truth, Forgiveness, Friendship, Hope, Intimacy, Kindness, Making Wise Choices, Overcoming Struggles, Pain Pleasure, Pleasure, Respect, Uncategorized, Understanding each other, Valued

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UNLEASHING THE K.I.S.S. MARRIAGE – “MISGUIDED “MIS”-SILES

Posted: October 1, 2012

Past hurts make us say crazy things. Hurtful words can be like an ugly misguided scud missile that has the power to rip apart our tender and easily wounded hearts. I have been the receiver and giver of those “miss”-guided words. Our wounds MAY cause us to misinterpret the intent of someone’s words to us. This is so true in a marriage where we carry on conversations every day of the year. Imagine the “miscommunications” that can occur on a daily basis. Example: I am very familiar with the story of a wife who wanted new blinds for the bedroom. She asked if it would be OK if we spent XX dollars on new blinds. The husband immediately responded No. MISCONCEPTION and MISCOMMUNICATION: Wife:  She is a home-maker who loves to create a beautiful home. The sun shines into the bedroom at uncomfortable hours of the day.  She wanted to…

Posted in: Balancing life, Beauty Unleashed, Communication, Encouragement, Expectations, Finding Truth, Forgiveness, Friendship, Good Marriage, Intimacy, Kindness, Life of Jesus, Listening, Making Wise Choices, Offenses, Overcoming Struggles, Pain Pleasure, Pleasure, Power of the Tongue, Resentment, Respect, Tension, Uncategorized, Understanding each other, Valued

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UNLEASHING THE K.I.S.S. MARRIAGE- “The Miracle of Compliments”

Posted: July 18, 2012

“You know what I heard today?” Nancy said that she saw you at the shopping centre and she thought you looked great.  She wanted to know if you have lost some weight.”  Those are words that make our skin flush, our hearts pound just a little bit harder, and our spirits are filled up to the brim with new confidence and joy.  A “passed along compliment” is one of the greatest confidence boosters. It affirms our sense of value and makes us feel that we just might have something worthwhile to offer this world. I know when I hear a compliment it’s enough to keep me floating two feet off the ground for the next couple of days. So if a “passed along compliment” has such much power; imagine the energy and strength we receive when our spouses give us a compliment right to our face.  The bible tells us:…

Posted in: Anticipation, Beauty from the Inside Out, Beauty Unleashed, Communication, Encouragement, Forgiveness, Friendship, Good Marriage, Hope, Intimacy, Kindness, Listening, Making Wise Choices, Overcoming Struggles, Pleasure, Power of the Tongue, Understanding each other

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UNLEASHING THE K.I.S.S. MARRIAGE- “What I’ve learned So Far-Part 2″

Posted: July 2, 2012

I went into my first marriage as a young, insecure nineteen-year-old expecting my husband to love me, fulfill all my desires and complete me as a woman. I was in for a painful discovery that he expected the same from me. I am now in my second marriage and I learned some powerful life changing concepts from my first marriage. When the policeman stood at my door 2 weeks before Christmas in 1994 to tell me my husband died suddenly while he was playing basketball; I felt like my life had also ended. My future seemed endless and meaningless and when I read in the bible that: “I will turn their mourning into laughter and their sadness into joy” (Jeremiah 31:3), it almost irked me. Well, that’s fine for somebody else, I thought, but I can’t ever imagine feeling joy again. Looking back I also realize that through our deepest…

Posted in: Balancing life, Beauty from the Inside Out, Encouragement, Finding Truth, Good Marriage, Intimacy, Kindness, Making Wise Choices, Overcoming Struggles, Pain Pleasure, Prayer, Resentment, Respect, SEX, Understanding each other, Valued

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UNLEASHING THE K.I.S.S. MARRIAGE- “What I’ve Learned So Far”

Posted: June 23, 2012

Today I am celebrating sixteen, fulfilling, joyful years of marriage. Yes, this is my second marriage. My first husband died suddenly two weeks before Christmas while he was playing basketball. This utterly shattered my life and I clearly recall thinking I would never experience happiness again. I remember looking in the mirror and seeing my once blue, sparkly eyes, now dull grey, lifeless and heavy with sadness. The future seems endless and meaningless. For those of you are going through a season of sadness or grief through the loss of death, divorce or separation; please hang on dear ones. Joy does come again in the morning. Our God is a God of restoration and second chances.  Even though it does not feel like joy right now, believe it, pray for it and wait expectantly. But I am a firm believer in that we “must never waste our pain.” If it…

Posted in: Balancing life, Beauty from the Inside Out, Communication, Encouragement, Finding Truth, Forgiveness, Friendship, Good Marriage, Intimacy, Kindness, Listening, Making Wise Choices, Overcoming Struggles, Pleasure, Prayer, Respect, Understanding each other

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UNLEASHING THE K.I.S.S. MARRIAGE-Being a Wife is not for Sissies

Posted: May 31, 2012

The last 2 months I have had many conversations with women all across our wonderful nation of Canada. Whenever I speak at conferences on the topic of relationships, many women take the opportunity to talk to me about their marriages. I confess that right now my heart is just about breaking with the horrific reasons for so many recent divorces. It is not easy being a wife when husbands have so much liberal free access to pornography on the internet. It’s a free drug accessible 24 hours a day and it is breaking up marriages. Many men actually go one step further and have affairs.  What wife can measure up to the air brushed women that are paid to act seductively? It makes me angry that so many wives feel they have to harness this ugly secret so that no shame will fall on their children and families. What woman…

Posted in: Beauty from the Inside Out, Beauty through Boldness, Beauty Unleashed, Communication, Encouragement, Finding Truth, Good Marriage, Hope, Intimacy, Making Wise Choices, messes, Overcoming Struggles, Pain Pleasure, Prayer, Self-Control, SEX, Understanding each other

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UNLEASHING THE K.I.S.S. MARRIAGE – Sex or Love

Posted: May 19, 2012

I rarely bring up the topic of sex, because I don’t want “sex lurkers” hitting my blog and web site. But I do need to address this topic because it sensuously invades almost every aspect of our lives. It is the glaring lure or innuendo behind many billboards, sitcoms, TV commercials, romance novels and movies.  It seems as though sex is the driving force that titillates us to catch our attention.  Yes, sex is a very important part of a healthy, beautiful marriage relationship, but we need to understand how it truly fulfills us. God said that “it is not good for man to be alone”; and He created us to enjoy the beauty and fulfillment of that intimate union. But we have to understand that it is the culmination of love, not the initiation to a healthy, long lasting relationship.  For Women: We are the emotional creatures and for…

Posted in: Beauty from the Inside Out, Beauty through Boldness, Communication, Encouragement, Expectations, Finding Truth, Friendship, Good Marriage, Intimacy, Kindness, Making Wise Choices, messes, Overcoming Struggles, Pain Pleasure, Respect, SEX, Uncategorized, Understanding each other

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UNLEASHING THE K.I.S.S. MARRIAGE – “Un-Complicate Your Marriage”

Posted: May 3, 2012

When life is complicated we get irritated and frustrated. When I drive down our highway I am saturated with billboards that tell me how unsatisfying my life is. But I am told that it will be better when I move into the new million dollar subdivision, listen to THIS radio station, have laser surgery, and find freedom by going to THIS restaurant and never again having to do dishes. For the life of me I cannot figure out our 5 remote controls at home and I almost panic when I get a new piece of technology or kitchen appliance because that means I will have to read 77 pages of instructions. The last thing we need is a complicated marriage. Our marriage is supposed to be a haven of peace and joy…a reprieve from the onslaught of our crazy whirlwind, complicated life. One of the greatest ways to un-complicate your…

Posted in: Balancing life, Beauty from the Inside Out, Communication, Control, Finding Truth, Freedom, Freedom from Busyness, Friendship, Good Marriage, Hope, Intimacy, Kindness, Life of Jesus, Making Wise Choices, Overcoming Struggles, Patience, Pleasure, Respect, Self-Control, Tension

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UNLEASHING THE K.I.S.S. MARRIAGE – The 5 Minute Miracle

Posted: April 19, 2012

I am going out on a limb and making a radical declaration: “You can enrich your marriage in 5 minute increments.” You are probably thinking, “This is too good to be true!” No, this actually works because I stumbled across this miraculous piece of puzzle in my first marriage. It worked so well that over the years I have incorporated into my present marriage, and other relationships. One of the biggest, hurtful, destructive obstacles in marriages is that people simply don’t listen to each other. Let’s face it; we hear what we want to hear. We sift out the stuff that hurts too much, the words that we think don’t apply to us or seem irrelevant to the situation.  Women have to say everything with too many words, tears, drama and emotions. Men sometimes don’t say anything at all. Over time, we learn to edit our conversations, stuff away hurt…

Posted in: Anticipation, Beauty from the Inside Out, Communication, Encouragement, Expectations, Expectations, Finding Truth, Friendship, Good Marriage, Hope, Intimacy, Kindness, Life of Jesus, Listening, Making Wise Choices, Overcoming Struggles, Patience, Pleasure, Power of the Tongue, Respect, Tension, Understanding each other, Valued

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UNLEASHING THE K.I.S.S. MARRIAGE – “Be Strong Princess”

Posted: April 7, 2012

My heart was heavy and my feet felt like lead as I shuffled my way down the hallway of our local General Hospital.  My mother had fallen again and this time I was not sure that we would fully recover.  Beside me in the hallway was a young woman with the same plodding footsteps, shoulders slumped; and she was carrying a plastic bag that revealed items meant to cheer up and encourage a sick person. Then I heard the shout behind me, “Be strong princess, I love you!” It was the shout of either her husband or significant other. Instantaneously her footsteps became lighter and her body became straighter.  She turned around, smiled and walked on. To hear those words in that defining moment almost brought tears to my eyes. This man knew just the right thing to say. Women are emotional creatures who feel pain deeply. OK sometimes we…

Posted in: Balancing life, Beauty from the Inside Out, Communication, Encouragement, Finding Truth, Good Marriage, Hope, Intimacy, Kindness, Making Wise Choices, Overcoming Struggles, Patience, Pleasure

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