Blog: Making Wise Choices

UNLEASHING THE K.I.S.S. MARRIAGE – Skipping Christmas-Saving Tension

Posted: December 1, 2012

Five years ago my husband Jack and I “skipped Christmas”.  Quite simply, we wanted to know what it felt like to let go of all the Christmas expectations and self imposed tension.  What would a Christmas season be like without waiting in lines, looking for parking spots, finding the perfect gift and feeling exhausted from fulfilling all the traditions and obligations that are supposedly inflicted on us?   Just last week I was in a Christmas decoration aisle in a huge department store, buying ribbon for our office party. A young couple was pushing a shopping cart down the aisle and in the middle of an argument. I could see the tension and frustration on her face and the anger in her voice: “This is not just for me you know; this is for OUR Christmas. I am just trying to make it a nice Christmas for OUR family.” Sadly I…

Posted in: Balancing life, Beauty from the Inside Out, Communication, Encouragement, Expectations, Finding Truth, Freedom from Busyness, Friendship, Hope, Intimacy, Kindness, Life of Jesus, Making Wise Choices, Overcoming Struggles, Pleasure, Respect, Tension, Understanding each other

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UNLEASHING THE K.I.S.S. MARRIAGE-“What My 2 Husbands Taught Me” (Part 2)

Posted: November 23, 2012

 We don’t “fall in and out of love.”  Love is not just a feeling, because our feelings are very fickle and play tricks on our minds. We have a tendency to think that when we lose that glow of pleasure and excitement in our marriage, that we have “fallen out of love.” Not so. We may, temporarily, have fallen out of “like” for each other, but the love is still there. God places that love within us and it needs to nurtured. In the same way that we fertilize our flowers, water them and prune them, in the same way we need to nurture the love in our marriage relationship. When we fight FOR the values, intimacy and love in our marriages, and do no fight WITH each other, we will begin to experience a deeper level of that strange word called “love”. Here are 6 more things that my…

Posted in: Beauty from the Inside Out, Communication, Expectations, Finding Truth, Forgiveness, Freedom, Friendship, Good Marriage, Hope, Intimacy, Kindness, Life of Jesus, Listening, Making Wise Choices, messes, Overcoming Struggles, Power of the Tongue, Resentment, Respect, SEX, Tension, Understanding each other, Valued

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UNLEASHING THE K.I.S.S. MARRIAGE-“What my 2 Husbands Taught Me” (Part 1)

Posted: October 22, 2012

Intimacy unleashes unexpected and strange gifts. At this juncture in life I consider myself mature enough to be able to look back in my marriages and realize how these sacred unions have made me a better person. But, this learning curve was not without some excruciating, self inflicted pain. Fact is, when we take the time for some self examination of our weaknesses and ugliness, it is never pretty. Marriage can be like the sandpaper that rubs off all our pretenses to reveal our true self. After 28 years of marriage with my first husband, before he tragically died on the basketball floor 2 weeks before Christmas, and now 16 years into my new marriage, I believe I have gained some crucial insight into who I am and what will make me a better, nicer and more loving person. Here is what I have learned: Cut the drama. Men can’t…

Posted in: Beauty from the Inside Out, Beauty Unleashed, Communication, Encouragement, Expectations, Finding Truth, Forgiveness, Friendship, Hope, Intimacy, Kindness, Making Wise Choices, Overcoming Struggles, Pain Pleasure, Pleasure, Respect, Uncategorized, Understanding each other, Valued

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UNLEASHING THE K.I.S.S. MARRIAGE – “MISGUIDED “MIS”-SILES

Posted: October 1, 2012

Past hurts make us say crazy things. Hurtful words can be like an ugly misguided scud missile that has the power to rip apart our tender and easily wounded hearts. I have been the receiver and giver of those “miss”-guided words. Our wounds MAY cause us to misinterpret the intent of someone’s words to us. This is so true in a marriage where we carry on conversations every day of the year. Imagine the “miscommunications” that can occur on a daily basis. Example: I am very familiar with the story of a wife who wanted new blinds for the bedroom. She asked if it would be OK if we spent XX dollars on new blinds. The husband immediately responded No. MISCONCEPTION and MISCOMMUNICATION: Wife:  She is a home-maker who loves to create a beautiful home. The sun shines into the bedroom at uncomfortable hours of the day.  She wanted to…

Posted in: Balancing life, Beauty Unleashed, Communication, Encouragement, Expectations, Finding Truth, Forgiveness, Friendship, Good Marriage, Intimacy, Kindness, Life of Jesus, Listening, Making Wise Choices, Offenses, Overcoming Struggles, Pain Pleasure, Pleasure, Power of the Tongue, Resentment, Respect, Tension, Uncategorized, Understanding each other, Valued

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UNLEASHING THE K.I.S.S. MARRIAGE – “Do You Feel Married”?

Posted: September 16, 2012

“Do you feel married?” How do you feel when you are in a season where everything seems to be changing? When the last child is off to University, a change in careers and the marriage seems too predictable and comfortable.  I saw a movie a couple of weeks ago where the couple in the movie were considering divorce because “their marriage felt like a comfortable roommate”. Before I go any further let me just say that there are probably a million people out there who would love that “comfortable roommate.” But for those of you who have been married a long time, we have to realize that we go through different stages in our marriages. 1.         The “drug induced” stage. This is where your heart is overflowing with love and you in a pleasure filled state because your brain is flooded with feel-good neurochemicals. We think this is what love…

Posted in: Balancing life, Beauty from the Inside Out, Communication, Encouragement, Expectations, Finding Truth, Freedom from Busyness, Friendship, Good Marriage, Hope, Intimacy, Kindness, Listening, Making Wise Choices, Pleasure, Resentment, Respect, Tension, Uncategorized, Understanding each other, Valued

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UNLEASHING THE K.I.S.S. MARRIAGE – When we feel Mad and Mean

Posted: August 26, 2012

I find that the world is getting madder and meaner almost every year. Don’t you wish that some days we would all just hold hands, get along and sing kum-baya? I stood beside a woman in a line-up at grocery store last week, smiled and made a casual comment about groceries. She swirled around and with a frown on her face shot a mean response. Why? If we treat strangers this way, it makes me wonder if we bring some of that meanness into our homes and marriages. In the last while I have also felt like shooting back some of those angry responses and it has actually startled me. I would never, ever want to be mean to my husband, family or anyone. And yet it creeps in. If we feel mean and mad, there is a root to those feelings. I took a deep soul inventory of my…

Posted in: Balancing life, Beauty from the Inside Out, Communication, Encouragement, Expectations, Finding Truth, Forgiveness, Freedom from Busyness, Friendship, Good Marriage, Hope, Intimacy, Kindness, Life of Jesus, Listening, Making Wise Choices, messes, Patience, Pleasure, Tension

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UNLEASHING THE K.I.S.S. MARRIAGE – Blended Family Reunions

Posted: August 11, 2012

Many months ago my husband Jack and I announced: “It’s time for a Family Reunion!” It makes we wonder if some of our children secretly shuddered when they heard that we wanted everyone to come home for 3 days of blended bliss. Let’s be realistic, it’s not always easy blending two families! When you have a mixture of 19 people, all with different personalities, career paths and opinions, and who live spread across Canada and the United States, you have a potpourri of blended surprise.   This blog is to pay a tribute to my wonderful family, because I am so proud of each and every one of them. Some of our children and grandchildren had not seen each other for a long time, and yet I observed intentional acceptance and love. Here are some tips as to what I believe made our “Blended Family Reunion” a tremendous time of…

Posted in: Anticipation, Beauty from the Inside Out, Communication, Encouragement, Expectations, Friendship, Good Marriage, Hope, Intimacy, Kindness, Life of Jesus, Making Wise Choices, Pleasure, Prayer, Understanding each other, Valued

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UNLEASHING THE K.I.S.S. MARRIAGE- “The Miracle of Compliments”

Posted: July 18, 2012

“You know what I heard today?” Nancy said that she saw you at the shopping centre and she thought you looked great.  She wanted to know if you have lost some weight.”  Those are words that make our skin flush, our hearts pound just a little bit harder, and our spirits are filled up to the brim with new confidence and joy.  A “passed along compliment” is one of the greatest confidence boosters. It affirms our sense of value and makes us feel that we just might have something worthwhile to offer this world. I know when I hear a compliment it’s enough to keep me floating two feet off the ground for the next couple of days. So if a “passed along compliment” has such much power; imagine the energy and strength we receive when our spouses give us a compliment right to our face.  The bible tells us:…

Posted in: Anticipation, Beauty from the Inside Out, Beauty Unleashed, Communication, Encouragement, Forgiveness, Friendship, Good Marriage, Hope, Intimacy, Kindness, Listening, Making Wise Choices, Overcoming Struggles, Pleasure, Power of the Tongue, Understanding each other

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UNLEASHING THE K.I.S.S. MARRIAGE- “What I’ve learned So Far-Part 2″

Posted: July 2, 2012

I went into my first marriage as a young, insecure nineteen-year-old expecting my husband to love me, fulfill all my desires and complete me as a woman. I was in for a painful discovery that he expected the same from me. I am now in my second marriage and I learned some powerful life changing concepts from my first marriage. When the policeman stood at my door 2 weeks before Christmas in 1994 to tell me my husband died suddenly while he was playing basketball; I felt like my life had also ended. My future seemed endless and meaningless and when I read in the bible that: “I will turn their mourning into laughter and their sadness into joy” (Jeremiah 31:3), it almost irked me. Well, that’s fine for somebody else, I thought, but I can’t ever imagine feeling joy again. Looking back I also realize that through our deepest…

Posted in: Balancing life, Beauty from the Inside Out, Encouragement, Finding Truth, Good Marriage, Intimacy, Kindness, Making Wise Choices, Overcoming Struggles, Pain Pleasure, Prayer, Resentment, Respect, SEX, Understanding each other, Valued

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UNLEASHING THE K.I.S.S. MARRIAGE- “What I’ve Learned So Far”

Posted: June 23, 2012

Today I am celebrating sixteen, fulfilling, joyful years of marriage. Yes, this is my second marriage. My first husband died suddenly two weeks before Christmas while he was playing basketball. This utterly shattered my life and I clearly recall thinking I would never experience happiness again. I remember looking in the mirror and seeing my once blue, sparkly eyes, now dull grey, lifeless and heavy with sadness. The future seems endless and meaningless. For those of you are going through a season of sadness or grief through the loss of death, divorce or separation; please hang on dear ones. Joy does come again in the morning. Our God is a God of restoration and second chances.  Even though it does not feel like joy right now, believe it, pray for it and wait expectantly. But I am a firm believer in that we “must never waste our pain.” If it…

Posted in: Balancing life, Beauty from the Inside Out, Communication, Encouragement, Finding Truth, Forgiveness, Friendship, Good Marriage, Intimacy, Kindness, Listening, Making Wise Choices, Overcoming Struggles, Pleasure, Prayer, Respect, Understanding each other

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