Blog: Expectations

UNLEASHING THE K.I.S.S. MARRIAGE – Expectations

Posted: June 4, 2011

 Every one of us is a minefield full of treasures. Most of those minefields are pain, frustration, disappointment, bitterness and anger because of unmet expectations. So how does that turn into a treasure?  Follow me along on a treasure hunt. To do that I need to tell you a little story.  There was a man who ran across American, coast to coast. When he completed this arduous, compelling and harsh task, he was met by the news media, with TV cameras and microphones being shoved into his face. The reporters asked him, “What was the hardest part of this year long trek? Was it the heat in the summer? Was it the fatigue? Was it the loneliness? Was it the relentless distance?” The runner replied without any hesitation, “No, it was the sand in my shoes.”  Ok what does that have to do with expectations?  Everything! When we have expectations,…

Posted in: Balancing life, Beauty from the Inside Out, Beauty through Boldness, Beauty Unleashed, Communication, Encouragement, Expectations, Fear, Finding Truth, Forgiveness, Friendship, Good Marriage, Hope, Intimacy, Kindness, Life of Jesus, Making Wise Choices, Pain Pleasure, Resentment

Read More



UNLEASHING THE K.I.S.S. MARRIAGE-The Deceptive Gucci Luggage

Posted: May 24, 2011

“Have you left your luggage unattended at any time?” This is one of the questions the girl at the airline check-in counter asks before she allows me to plunk my luggage onto her conveyer belt.  I know this simple, ridiculous question is for my safety; to protect me from terrorism or any other harm.   Yet so many of us, before we say our “I do’s” and get ready to fly into our marriage; don’t ask each other that straightforward, life saving question.  We arrive at the marriage alter dragging our gorgeous, deceptive Gucci luggage which holds all of our garbage and secrets. There probably has not been any reason to unzip the baggage; after all you have both been in a magical, endorphin induced courtship. Now the day to day routine of life begins with its challenges and obstacles, and before you know it you are pulling the luggage zipper…

Posted in: Balancing life, Beauty from the Inside Out, Beauty Unleashed, Communication, Encouragement, Expectations, False Belief Systems, Finding Truth, Forgiveness, Friendship, Good Marriage, Hope, Intimacy, Making Wise Choices, Pain Pleasure, Resentment, Understanding each other

Read More



UNLEASHING THE K.I.S.S. MARRIAGE – “Think Again”

Posted: May 6, 2011

For over twenty-five years I have been the only woman in the Boardroom and in Manager’s Meetings.  You would think that by now I would know how to phrase my questions and conversations so that I can engage men in productive and meaningful conversations. Think again. Apparently not;I am constantly learning. This week my question was, “Hey guys, I need to order a cake for the Retirement Party; should we get fancy or funny?” They looked at me as though I was Neanderthal woman, turned away from me and broke into animated conversation with each other about the hockey play-offs. That ended the conversation. If the majority of men are interested in talking about cakes; think again. In all my blogs about marriage, please know there is always a disclaimer. Keep in mind that I am writing about men in general. There are certain men that if you asked them…

Posted in: Beauty through Boldness, Encouragement, Expectations, Expectations, Finding Truth, Forgiveness, Good Marriage, Hope, Intimacy, Kindness, Making Wise Choices, Overcoming Struggles, Pain Pleasure, Resentment, Uncategorized, Understanding each other

Read More



UNLEASHING THE K.I.S.S. MARRIAGE – “ASK”

Posted: April 22, 2011

For many years, when my alarm went off at 6:00 a.m.; I would start to pray. “God, please help me to get out of this bed. Help me get one foot on the floor and then the other one. Please God help me to start this day.” Those were the days when I was employed full time, taxied two children to endless activities, baked my own bread, sewed my own clothes, taught Sunday School…in other words; every morning I had to go into the telephone booth and change into the image of  Super-woman of this present generation. On Saturday mornings while the children were cuddled in their pajamas, munching cereal, playing with the dog and my husband watching basketball, any person watching this peaceful family scene would probably sigh and comment on this blissful Rockwell family. Wrong. In the meantime I was in the kitchen banging pots, dragging out the…

Posted in: Balancing life, Beauty from the Inside Out, Encouragement, Expectations, Finding Truth, Freedom from Busyness, Good Marriage, Hope, Intimacy, Kindness, Making Wise Choices, Overcoming Struggles, Pain Pleasure, Resentment, Uncategorized, Understanding each other

Read More



UNLEASHING THE K.I.S.S. MARRIAGE – 3 MAIN THINGS

Posted: April 15, 2011

Once the chemical magic wears off in a relationship, we get into the nuts and bolts of what makes us tick. There has to be more to a fulfilling home life than the grinding routine of vacuuming dog hairs, running children to soccer, paying the mortgage and fertilizing the grass. If we don’t know what makes our spouses’ hearts pound, gives them fulfillment and spurs them on to become better people, we miss the mark in what marriage was intended to be. One of the hardest questions we will ask each other is this, “What are your 3 greatest needs?” We may actually think this is a dumb, easy question, but in fact it is the most essential one you will ever ask your spouse AND yourself. We all have deep emotional needs, physical, spiritual needs, that if they are not met, we will slowly die inside. So first ask…

Posted in: Beauty from the Inside Out, Encouragement, Expectations, Friendship, Good Marriage, Intimacy, Making Wise Choices, Overcoming Struggles, Pain Pleasure

Read More



UNLEASHING THE K.I.S.S. MARRIAGE – Pain or Pleasure

Posted: April 1, 2011

Humans seek pleasure. Most people believe that this essential pleasure will be found in a marriage relationship and that it will ultimately fulfill their soul craving for acceptance, understanding and of course…love. This powerful, plan was created by God and He said that “it was good.” Something has gone awry, or has it? For the next few months I will be writing on K.I.S.S. (Keep it simple sweetheart) simple, yet powerful steps to build the kind of marriage that God intended us to enjoy. Marriages can indeed be the joyful, fulfilling relationships God intended them to be. I was married at nineteen, a young clueless woman, thinking that my husband would make me happy and enrich my life. I had no one to mentor, or teach me as to what it takes to build a marriage. I went through years of resentment, pain and feeling I had made a dreadful…

Posted in: Beauty from the Inside Out, Beauty through Boldness, Expectations, Good Marriage, Hope, Making Wise Choices, Overcoming Struggles, Pain Pleasure, Resentment

Read More



BEAUTY TIP #37 – “Wide Awake and Curious”

Posted: March 16, 2011

Many of my readers know that I have shown up at work wearing two different shoes. Obviously I was still sleepwalking. I had a boss that constantly reminded me, “The best way to succeed is to PAY ATTENTION to the details.” That expression resonated in my brain and to this day I focus on having a curious perspective on life. Try to focus in on details when you are on an airplane flying at 30,000 feet. All you can see is blotches, lines and squares. Travelling on a hi-speed bullet train in France allows you to see clearer outlines and pictures but no details. Driving slower in a car; is better. Walking is good. Stopping is vital. We have to remember that to succeed, emerge and blossom in our spiritual journey we have to pay attention and “taste and see that the Lord is good…” (Psalm 34:8 NIV).  SEE AND…

Posted in: Beauty from the Inside Out, Beauty Unleashed, Encouragement, Expectations, Finding Truth, Freedom from Busyness, Hope, Making Wise Choices, Overcoming Struggles

Read More



BEAUTY TIP #34 – Sand in my Shoes

Posted: January 29, 2011

The feeling of being barefoot and squishing sand between my toes evokes a giddiness of freedom. If I nudge near the ocean just near enough to get the occasional splash of gorgeous, turquoise sea water, and the sun warming my cheeks; I feel like a child again. Free to frolic, run, laugh and giggle. Being barefoot in the sand unleashes a brazen abandon that I find in no other place. I cannot get this freedom when I wear shoes. It is blatantly unrealistic of me to think that I can frolic in the sand and not expect to get sand in my shoes. Those irritating grains of sand that will find that little crevice and rub away at me until I either take off my shoes or leave the beach. Annoying, hurtful and disappointing!  An unrealistic expectation is like an irritating grain of sand-a silent thief that will rob us…

Posted in: Beauty from the Inside Out, Beauty through Boldness, Expectations, False Belief Systems, Finding Truth, Hope, Making Wise Choices, Overcoming Struggles, Resentment

Read More



BEAUTY TIP #33 “Radiance”

Posted: January 21, 2011

I yearn to be radiant. Not the kind where I walk into a room with the perfect outfit, a forced smile and all the right answers; but a radiance that has the effervescent glow of something more powerful, beautiful. I crave a radiance that does not scream my obvious striving, or cover my messiness and grittiness. I am helpless to attain this but I am on journey and quest to find it.  Every morning I start by talking to God about my plans for the day and off I go to embrace the day with a smile on my face.  Grittiness sets it.  I get irritated, people let me down, and I compare and feel insignificant and wonder if I will ever get it right. I’m not the only one; I hear weary sighs and laments from people everywhere. Demands and expectations have clogged our days and we lose sight…

Posted in: Beauty from the Inside Out, Beauty through Boldness, Encouragement, Expectations, False Belief Systems, Finding Truth, Freedom from Busyness, Hope, Making Wise Choices, Overcoming Fear

Read More



BEAUTY TIP #30 – “Tension into Tenderness”

Posted: December 3, 2010

The Christmas Season has many women struggling with a love/hate relationship. The first Christmas carols playing in the shopping mall get their hearts pounding, they break out in a sweat and their minds unravel like an out of control scotch-tape dispenser. The next minute they see a new purse or pair of earrings and they find themselves humming to “Deck the halls…” It’s strange and yet I know. Christmas is filled with tension. Will we have enough money to make it through the season? How will our marriage survive the holidays? There is no way we can fit all these activities into 23 days-absolutely not. I hate wrapping. All these expectations are killing me. I have nothing new to wear. Do we have the family gift exchange-give individual presents and to whom? It’s all too much I can’t handle it.   I know that you and I do not want…

Posted in: Beauty from the Inside Out, Encouragement, Expectations, Freedom from Busyness, Friendship, Hope, Overcoming Struggles, Uncategorized

Read More