Blog: Communication
Posted: July 2, 2011
I’m going to give you a radical challenge that just may change the dynamics of your marriage. For the next 30 days, let’s agree to do this: “Hands off” your spouse. Here are some examples of what I mean. If your husband forgot to put out the garbage, don’t berate him. Let it go and take it out yourself. You may say something like this, “Honey, I saw that you forgot to put out the garbage, but don’t fret; I took it out for you.” Your husband is watching sports but he should be helping you bathe the children or clean up the kitchen. Remember I said radical! Go over to him and say, “Sweetheart, I am more than happy to clean up the kitchen myself and bathe the children. You enjoy your football game. By the way, can I bring you a cold drink?” Don’t manipulate him to come…
Posted in: Balancing life, Beauty through Boldness, Communication, Encouragement, Finding Truth, Forgiveness, Good Marriage, Hope, Intimacy, Kindness, Life of Jesus, Making Wise Choices, Overcoming Struggles, Pain Pleasure, Resentment, Uncategorized, Understanding each other, Valued
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Posted: June 25, 2011
This was one of the most bizarre stories I ever heard. My son-in-law Tim was telling me how he grows hybrid canola. This is what he told me, “Hybrid canola is grown in rows with the ‘females’ in one row, and the ‘males’ in adjacent rows. Then they import honey bees and leafcutter bees to pollinate the canola. After pollination is complete, the ‘male’ rows are mowed out, since they do not produce the desired type of seed.” This seems to be the sequence of events in many marriages. Man and woman fall in love, they pollinate (have babies) and once the male is no longer useful, he is being mowed down. I don’t believe I am being to brazen by saying this so bluntly, because I have heard women “mowing down men” in various, cutting ways. Once men no longer meet our expectations, we can cut them down by…
Posted in: Balancing life, Beauty from the Inside Out, Communication, Encouragement, Expectations, Finding Truth, Forgiveness, Good Marriage, Intimacy, Kindness, Making Wise Choices, Pain Pleasure, Resentment, Understanding each other, Valued
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Posted: June 10, 2011
Tension in a marriage can be good. But by the time some people finish reading this blog about tension they may be shouting, “Get rid of the jerk, he/she’s not worth it.” Apparently they were worth it at one time; the day you were both all dressed up in your finest attire, surrounded by family and friends and declaring your love for each other for the “rest of your lives.” Our modern day lifestyle plays havoc with our marriages; especially during the years where we are cultivating our careers, nurturing our children, trying to stay in the black in our bank accounts and carving out some fun recreational activities. I believe that much of the tension arises by both spouses feeling exhausted, overwhelmed, frustrated and then angry. Instead of throwing in the towel and saying, “I don’t love you anymore, and I’m leaving”…see the tension as a golden opportunity for…
Posted in: Balancing life, Beauty from the Inside Out, Beauty through Boldness, Communication, Expectations, Finding Truth, Forgiveness, Good Marriage, Intimacy, Kindness, Overcoming Struggles, Overwhelmed and Undervalued, Tension, Uncategorized, Understanding each other, Valued
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Posted: June 4, 2011
Every one of us is a minefield full of treasures. Most of those minefields are pain, frustration, disappointment, bitterness and anger because of unmet expectations. So how does that turn into a treasure? Follow me along on a treasure hunt. To do that I need to tell you a little story. There was a man who ran across American, coast to coast. When he completed this arduous, compelling and harsh task, he was met by the news media, with TV cameras and microphones being shoved into his face. The reporters asked him, “What was the hardest part of this year long trek? Was it the heat in the summer? Was it the fatigue? Was it the loneliness? Was it the relentless distance?” The runner replied without any hesitation, “No, it was the sand in my shoes.” Ok what does that have to do with expectations? Everything! When we have expectations,…
Posted in: Balancing life, Beauty from the Inside Out, Beauty through Boldness, Beauty Unleashed, Communication, Encouragement, Expectations, Fear, Finding Truth, Forgiveness, Friendship, Good Marriage, Hope, Intimacy, Kindness, Life of Jesus, Making Wise Choices, Pain Pleasure, Resentment
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Posted: May 24, 2011
“Have you left your luggage unattended at any time?” This is one of the questions the girl at the airline check-in counter asks before she allows me to plunk my luggage onto her conveyer belt. I know this simple, ridiculous question is for my safety; to protect me from terrorism or any other harm. Yet so many of us, before we say our “I do’s” and get ready to fly into our marriage; don’t ask each other that straightforward, life saving question. We arrive at the marriage alter dragging our gorgeous, deceptive Gucci luggage which holds all of our garbage and secrets. There probably has not been any reason to unzip the baggage; after all you have both been in a magical, endorphin induced courtship. Now the day to day routine of life begins with its challenges and obstacles, and before you know it you are pulling the luggage zipper…
Posted in: Balancing life, Beauty from the Inside Out, Beauty Unleashed, Communication, Encouragement, Expectations, False Belief Systems, Finding Truth, Forgiveness, Friendship, Good Marriage, Hope, Intimacy, Making Wise Choices, Pain Pleasure, Resentment, Understanding each other
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