Blog: Communication
Posted: June 7, 2014
Conflict and crudeness seems to be the order of the day in our present throwaway generation. Just spend some time watching sitcoms and real life T.V., and it will quickly become evident that the concept of “Honor” appears to be a quaint notion from somewhere in the past. Yet I would submit that “Honor” is a widely taught subject of the Holy Scriptures. A simple definition of the word is “a value or appreciation, esteem, favorable, regard, respect.” A better understanding of the word may help if we take a look at its counterpart: “dishonored”, which in its strongest form means to “treat shamefully and even humiliated.” Beginning with God, we are taught to “Honor” a wide range of individuals including authorities, civil, social and church leaders, and parents. In addition, “Honor” is an essential ingredient in the home to bring about harmony and free couples to be all that…
Posted in: 5 things, Beauty from the Inside Out, Communication, companionship, Encouragement, Freedom, Friendship, God' Love, Good Marriage, Harmony, Intimacy, love, Making Wise Choices, power of words, Respect, Understanding each other
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Posted: May 11, 2014
In my first marriage I was more concerned about getting my own way, rather than focusing on being a good wife. I thought if everything went my way, I would be happy and organically I would become that good wife. Selfishness is so blind and foolish. Let’s be very clear about something. Being a good wife does not mean being a door mat or a shrinking violet. For I am neither. I am still the student in my marriage, but there are a few things I have actually learned. Take today for example: Every spring when it’s time to clean up our yard I declare that “I am not going to pick pine needles out of the lava rocks this year.” But I see how hard my dear Jack works in the yard doing all the trimming and clean up, and I know someone has to pick up all those…
Posted in: Balancing life, Beauty from the Inside Out, Commitment, Communication, companionship, Encouragement, Expectations, Faith, God' Love, Good Marriage, Kindness, love, Making Wise Choices, Overcoming Struggles, Pleasure, Understanding each other
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Posted: April 5, 2014
The movie, “I DON’T KNOW HOW SHE DOES IT” (starring Sarah Jessica Parker and Pierce Brosnan) caused me to ruminate about the feminism movement in the 60’s and 70’s. Looking back I realize I was a culprit in this portion of history to make women believe they could have it all. I was determined to do it and I was able to pull it off. But at times the fatigue almost killed me. I hope we have all learned something from the craziness of trying to juggle demanding careers, involving our children in every activity under the sun, and still keep up meaningful conversations over the dinner table. (What dinner table?) After watching that movie it brought me to the harsh reality that “if we don’t take the take for companionship with our family, we will lose everything.” We will lose the safety net and intimacy of our marriage, the…
Posted in: Balancing life, Boring marriage, chaos, Communication, companionship, Encouragement, Expectations, Freedom from Busyness, Friendship, fUN, Harmony, intimacy destroyer, Laughter, love, Making Wise Choices, Overcoming Struggles, Pleasure, Understanding each other
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Posted: March 8, 2014
Those boys hurt my feelings” pouted my little three year old granddaughter. As we walked I held her hand and consoled her. But I must confess that inwardly I was shocked that a three year old child had the insight to express how she felt. But then again, she is female and very much in touch with her inner self. But we have to understand that our feelings are fickle. They betray us because emotions don’t have intellect. They don’t think clearly, hardly ever steer us in the right direction and often they distort the truth. If we try to recount an emotional incidence that happened in the past, the story has great possibility to be distorted. Why…because our emotions can be stronger than the truth. As a speaker I often make this statement because I know it to be true: “My audience may not remember what I said, but they…
Posted in: Commitment, Communication, companionship, Finding Truth, Freedom, Friendship, Good Marriage, Harmony, Intimacy, love, Making Wise Choices, Overcoming Struggles, Pleasure, power of words, Tension
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Posted: February 22, 2014
This is my second marriage, and I have been the only woman on management teams for over 30 years. I believe this qualifies me to take a realistic look at the good qualities in the opposite sex. One comment I hear from women over and over again: “I would rather work with men than women.” So that shines the spotlight on some of men’s great attributes. Let’s unpack them. Generally speaking, women like men who: 1. Are uncomplicated. Most men are easy going and don’t sweat the small stuff. They are forthright and clear about their thoughts and their words clearly express their expectations. They don’t use drama or emotions to achieve their goals. 2. Don’t hang onto disagreements. I like the way men can disagree with each other and not hang onto their hurt feelings. When an issue is resolved, they slap each other on the back and carry…
Posted in: Communication, companionship, Differences, Friendship, fUN, Good Marriage, Intimacy, intimacy destroyer, love, Making Wise Choices, Overcoming Struggles, Pleasure, power of words, sensitive, Uncategorized, Understanding each other
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Posted: January 25, 2014
Our greatest quest in life is to be happy. I read an article in a British Columbia newspaper last week that stated: “Canada had the highest, per capita, drug usage for depression.” Many people feel that they are entitled to “living the dream” but can’t seem to achieve their dreams, their perfect marriage or the happiness that they feel they deserve. I am curious about this state of happiness. Happiness depends on our circumstances and even when we achieve our goals, dreams and the perfect life, we all know that it only last for a little while. That “happy feeling” is so fickle and fleeting. It disappears much faster than we thought it would. So we’re onto the next thing that will give us that pleasure jolt of feeling happy, happy, happy. If something disappears that quickly, surely there must be something wrong with it.. This is especially true in…
Posted in: Beauty from the Inside Out, Boring marriage, Commitment, Communication, companionship, Expectations, Finding Truth, Freedom, Friendship, Good Marriage, Harmony, Intimacy, Laughter, love, Making Wise Choices, Power of the Tongue, Uncategorized, Understanding each other
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Posted: September 28, 2013
We all have a dark side. Sexual scandals are rampant. Anthony Weiner, a former U.S representative and candidate for the mayoral race in New York is now called a “Sexter”. This was the second time he was caught in a sex scandal and it has probably ruined his reputation and career. Bob Filner, the 35th mayor of San Diego just stepped down, in disgrace, from his office after eleven women came forward and alleged he was a “serial sexual harasser.” Jerry Sandusky, the retired football coach who was an idol to thousands of young boys and men, is now in jail for being a “convicted serial child molester”. What a tragedy. Lives ruined forever. These men were exposed for their dark side. Many people are still seeped in their secret, destructive, addictive lives. If this is part of your story in your marriage…run for help. None of us can be…
Posted in: Communication, companionship, Conflict, counsellor, God' Love, Good Marriage, love, Making Wise Choices, messes, Pain Pleasure, Pleasure, pornography, Prayer, secrets, SEX, technology, Valued
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Posted: August 17, 2013
This summer I took the time to watch some reality T.V. about lavish weddings and wedding dresses. I saw snippets of Say YES to the Dress, Four Weddings, and Bridezillas. Some comments that made my jaw drop were: “Ever since I was a little girls I dreamed about having this….You can’t deprive me of this.” “It’s my day and you WILL wear this bridesmaid dress.” “I had to fire my first wedding planner because she wasn’t getting daddy to approve all my wishes.” “Daddy you’re breaking my heart because you know how much I want this. This is supposed to be MY perfect day.” To me it all sounded like these brides were preparing for the biggest, most fun and extravagant event of their lives. How many of us took the time to play the movie forward as to what this marriage would look like in the next 10-15 years….
Posted in: 5 things, Assumptions, Commitment, Communication, companionship, Conflict, Expectations, God' Love, Good Marriage, Harmony, Intimacy, Kindness, Listening, love, Making Wise Choices, Overcoming Struggles, Patience, power of words, Understanding each other, wedding day, weddings
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Posted: August 5, 2013
Laughter cuts tension and breaks down barriers. I observed this concept in my own children when they were little. I watched them play, and then fight, and then laugh hilariously about something silly. In the aftermath of that refreshing laughter, they completely forgot they were mad at each other. This concept still applies to us grown-ups. Life can get very serious these days and we desperately need to learn to laugh again. Yes, the butterflies of early romance quickly flutter away, but they can be replaced by something more substantive. In a New York Times article i. entitled Reinventing Date Night for Long-Married Couples, the writer concludes that “Simply spending quality time together is probably not enough to prevent a relationship from getting stale.” We’ve all heard the phrase “familiarity breeds contempt’ and I also believe that none of us want to become that “old boring couple”. I am passionate…
Posted in: Balancing life, Beauty from the Inside Out, Boring marriage, Communication, companionship, Conflict, dopamine, Encouragement, Expectations, Freedom from Busyness, Friendship, fUN, Good Marriage, Intimacy, Laughter, Norepinephrine, Pleasure, Uncategorized, Understanding each other
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Posted: July 19, 2013
My friend, Dr. Sylvia Frejd has written a book that hits the heartbeat of everyone that carries around a smart phone, i-phone, i-pad or is involved in any digital technology. I consider this well researched book a “must read” for every family because it shows us how our digital obsessions are affecting our relationships. Here is what Sylvia has to say about how our digital world can affect our marriages. 1. How can technology drive a wedge in a marriage? Our digital technology is a barrier and an intimacy destroyer. It connects us with those far away but disconnects us with those sitting in the same room. We are having a lot of connections but not conversations. To have true intimacy in our marriage we need to have face-to-face, heart conversations. The best advice I can give to a couple is to leave their technology out of the bedroom. 2….
Posted in: Balancing life, Communication, companionship, Control, digital obsessions, Expectations, Friendship, Good Marriage, i-phone, Intimacy, intimacy destroyer, Making Wise Choices, pornography, technology, Understanding each other
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