Blog: Beauty from the Inside Out

UNLEASHING THE K.I.S.S. MARRIAGE-My Daughter Speaks Candidly about Communication

Posted: March 24, 2013

A few weeks ago while visiting with my parents in Kelowna, British Columbia, my mom and I started talking about marriage. She looked me straight in the eyes and asked: “Sweetie, what do you think is one of the most important ingredients in a marriage to make it successful?” My instant and candid response was, “Communication”. My husband Tim and I have been married for over twenty years and, and in my experience, the happiest times in our marriage are the times when we are communicating well with each other. This is not something that happens overnight. When Tim and I started dating, we would sit side by side on a bench in the park for long periods of time and not say anything to each other. I remember thinking; “Is this really the right person for me? We hardly know what to say to each other?” Over the years…

Posted in: Balancing life, Beauty from the Inside Out, Communication, Control, Encouragement, Expectations, Finding Truth, Forgiveness, Friendship, Good Marriage, Intimacy, Listening, Overcoming Struggles, Patience, power of words, Resentment, Respect, Tension, Understanding each other, Valued

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UNLEASHING THE K.I.S.S. MARRIAGE-“Predictable Patterns”

Posted: March 14, 2013

Some predictable patterns evoke a sense of pleasurable anticipation. For example. My husband and I can’t wait for golfing season to start so that we can golf on every available Friday. This pattern is full of joy and freedom because it is something Jack and I love to do. But there are predictable patterns that turn into boredom, rob us of all freedom, suck away our joy and may leave us feeling depleted and even resentful. These are the patterns that evolve from repeated and endless duty and obligations. Once an obligation or duty becomes predictable…be prepared for the danger signs. Let’s be realistic. In all marriages there are obligations that must be met every day. But there comes a time when we have to change our routines or pull away from them for a short time so that we don’t turn into time management robots. As I observe marriages…

Posted in: Anticipation, Balancing life, Beauty from the Inside Out, Communication, Encouragement, Expectations, Freedom from Busyness, Friendship, Good Marriage, Intimacy, Making Wise Choices, Overcoming Struggles, Pleasure, Resentment, SEX, Understanding each other

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UNLEASHING THE K.I.S.S. MARRIAGE – 8 MORE THINGS MEN DISLIKE WHAT WOMEN DO. (Part 2)

Posted: February 7, 2013

I have had some very interesting conversations with men in the last couple of weeks. My dear reader, if we truly pursue to understand what is going on in a man’s mind, we can build bridges to greater understanding and in turn we will receive the love we so desperately need. I believe most women are eager to please our husbands, children, family, boss and friends. If we have a clearer picture of what is expected of us, and in turn make the men in our lives aware of our needs, this knowledge builds a great foundation for loving and joyful relationships. So let’s take another glimpse into the mystery of a man’s mind. Today these points are in not in any order of priority. 9. The Beauty Queen-These women think their looks will get them whatever they want. They can’t walk in front of a mirror without constantly primping….

Posted in: Beauty from the Inside Out, Communication, Encouragement, Expectations, Finding Truth, Friendship, Good Marriage, Intimacy, Kindness, Life of Jesus, Listening, Making Wise Choices, Overcoming Struggles, Pleasure, Power of the Tongue, power of words, Respect, SEX, Tension, Understanding each other

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UNLEASHING THE K.I.S.S. MARRIAGE – The Brilliance and Power of Seeds

Posted: January 5, 2013

  Every time I open my mouth I plant a seed.  There are days I wish this was not true, but there is no escape from this spiritual law. Surely those subtle, sarcastic remarks when I am standing in a tedious, long line-up can’t have much power. After all, I will probably never again encounter the people who heard them. But I have come to realize that you and I hold an astonishing power that can be absolutely brilliant or beastly.  It’s the words that come out of our mouths. My son-in-law Tim runs a huge farming operation in Southern Alberta. I love to drive by his fields and see the yellow canola, the rich beans, barley or the thirty other seeds he may have planted that year.  Whatever seeds he plants…that is what will grow and be produced. When he plants flax he does not get peas. When he…

Posted in: Beauty from the Inside Out, Beauty Unleashed, Communication, Encouragement, Forgiveness, Friendship, Good Marriage, Hope, Intimacy, Making Wise Choices, Pain Pleasure, Power of the Tongue, power of words, Prayer, Respect, Understanding each other

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UNLEASHING THE K.I.S.S. MARRIAGE – Skipping Christmas-Saving Tension

Posted: December 1, 2012

Five years ago my husband Jack and I “skipped Christmas”.  Quite simply, we wanted to know what it felt like to let go of all the Christmas expectations and self imposed tension.  What would a Christmas season be like without waiting in lines, looking for parking spots, finding the perfect gift and feeling exhausted from fulfilling all the traditions and obligations that are supposedly inflicted on us?   Just last week I was in a Christmas decoration aisle in a huge department store, buying ribbon for our office party. A young couple was pushing a shopping cart down the aisle and in the middle of an argument. I could see the tension and frustration on her face and the anger in her voice: “This is not just for me you know; this is for OUR Christmas. I am just trying to make it a nice Christmas for OUR family.” Sadly I…

Posted in: Balancing life, Beauty from the Inside Out, Communication, Encouragement, Expectations, Finding Truth, Freedom from Busyness, Friendship, Hope, Intimacy, Kindness, Life of Jesus, Making Wise Choices, Overcoming Struggles, Pleasure, Respect, Tension, Understanding each other

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UNLEASHING THE K.I.S.S. MARRIAGE-“What My 2 Husbands Taught Me” (Part 2)

Posted: November 23, 2012

 We don’t “fall in and out of love.”  Love is not just a feeling, because our feelings are very fickle and play tricks on our minds. We have a tendency to think that when we lose that glow of pleasure and excitement in our marriage, that we have “fallen out of love.” Not so. We may, temporarily, have fallen out of “like” for each other, but the love is still there. God places that love within us and it needs to nurtured. In the same way that we fertilize our flowers, water them and prune them, in the same way we need to nurture the love in our marriage relationship. When we fight FOR the values, intimacy and love in our marriages, and do no fight WITH each other, we will begin to experience a deeper level of that strange word called “love”. Here are 6 more things that my…

Posted in: Beauty from the Inside Out, Communication, Expectations, Finding Truth, Forgiveness, Freedom, Friendship, Good Marriage, Hope, Intimacy, Kindness, Life of Jesus, Listening, Making Wise Choices, messes, Overcoming Struggles, Power of the Tongue, Resentment, Respect, SEX, Tension, Understanding each other, Valued

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UNLEASHING THE K.I.S.S. MARRIAGE-“What my 2 Husbands Taught Me” (Part 1)

Posted: October 22, 2012

Intimacy unleashes unexpected and strange gifts. At this juncture in life I consider myself mature enough to be able to look back in my marriages and realize how these sacred unions have made me a better person. But, this learning curve was not without some excruciating, self inflicted pain. Fact is, when we take the time for some self examination of our weaknesses and ugliness, it is never pretty. Marriage can be like the sandpaper that rubs off all our pretenses to reveal our true self. After 28 years of marriage with my first husband, before he tragically died on the basketball floor 2 weeks before Christmas, and now 16 years into my new marriage, I believe I have gained some crucial insight into who I am and what will make me a better, nicer and more loving person. Here is what I have learned: Cut the drama. Men can’t…

Posted in: Beauty from the Inside Out, Beauty Unleashed, Communication, Encouragement, Expectations, Finding Truth, Forgiveness, Friendship, Hope, Intimacy, Kindness, Making Wise Choices, Overcoming Struggles, Pain Pleasure, Pleasure, Respect, Uncategorized, Understanding each other, Valued

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UNLEASHING THE K.I.S.S. MARRIAGE – “Do You Feel Married”?

Posted: September 16, 2012

“Do you feel married?” How do you feel when you are in a season where everything seems to be changing? When the last child is off to University, a change in careers and the marriage seems too predictable and comfortable.  I saw a movie a couple of weeks ago where the couple in the movie were considering divorce because “their marriage felt like a comfortable roommate”. Before I go any further let me just say that there are probably a million people out there who would love that “comfortable roommate.” But for those of you who have been married a long time, we have to realize that we go through different stages in our marriages. 1.         The “drug induced” stage. This is where your heart is overflowing with love and you in a pleasure filled state because your brain is flooded with feel-good neurochemicals. We think this is what love…

Posted in: Balancing life, Beauty from the Inside Out, Communication, Encouragement, Expectations, Finding Truth, Freedom from Busyness, Friendship, Good Marriage, Hope, Intimacy, Kindness, Listening, Making Wise Choices, Pleasure, Resentment, Respect, Tension, Uncategorized, Understanding each other, Valued

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UNLEASHING THE K.I.S.S. MARRIAGE – When we feel Mad and Mean

Posted: August 26, 2012

I find that the world is getting madder and meaner almost every year. Don’t you wish that some days we would all just hold hands, get along and sing kum-baya? I stood beside a woman in a line-up at grocery store last week, smiled and made a casual comment about groceries. She swirled around and with a frown on her face shot a mean response. Why? If we treat strangers this way, it makes me wonder if we bring some of that meanness into our homes and marriages. In the last while I have also felt like shooting back some of those angry responses and it has actually startled me. I would never, ever want to be mean to my husband, family or anyone. And yet it creeps in. If we feel mean and mad, there is a root to those feelings. I took a deep soul inventory of my…

Posted in: Balancing life, Beauty from the Inside Out, Communication, Encouragement, Expectations, Finding Truth, Forgiveness, Freedom from Busyness, Friendship, Good Marriage, Hope, Intimacy, Kindness, Life of Jesus, Listening, Making Wise Choices, messes, Patience, Pleasure, Tension

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UNLEASHING THE K.I.S.S. MARRIAGE – Blended Family Reunions

Posted: August 11, 2012

Many months ago my husband Jack and I announced: “It’s time for a Family Reunion!” It makes we wonder if some of our children secretly shuddered when they heard that we wanted everyone to come home for 3 days of blended bliss. Let’s be realistic, it’s not always easy blending two families! When you have a mixture of 19 people, all with different personalities, career paths and opinions, and who live spread across Canada and the United States, you have a potpourri of blended surprise.   This blog is to pay a tribute to my wonderful family, because I am so proud of each and every one of them. Some of our children and grandchildren had not seen each other for a long time, and yet I observed intentional acceptance and love. Here are some tips as to what I believe made our “Blended Family Reunion” a tremendous time of…

Posted in: Anticipation, Beauty from the Inside Out, Communication, Encouragement, Expectations, Friendship, Good Marriage, Hope, Intimacy, Kindness, Life of Jesus, Making Wise Choices, Pleasure, Prayer, Understanding each other, Valued

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