Blog: Balancing life

UNLEASHING THE K.I.S.S. MARRIAGE –“Fatal Distraction”

Posted: September 5, 2011

  Just in the last week several people have died because they were distracted while driving a motor vehicle.  Recent statistics show that many motor vehicle accidents are no longer due to alcohol; but because the driver is distracted. Some of the distractions listed were, of all things, watching TV, texting, on the phone, reading or just not paying attention. Bottom line; because of a distraction they died.  Our marriages are bombarded with that same game of jeopardy. When we recognize that this little piece of wires and plastic, (our cell phones, iPads or computers) takes precedence over “eyeball to eyeball” conversations, we’re on our way to a marriage wreck.  I have witnessed couples out on a dinner date and the husband (or wife) looking at the top of each other’s heads as they are clicking away on text messages or checking their e-mails or Face book messages. Really, can this…

Posted in: Balancing life, Beauty from the Inside Out, Communication, Control, Encouragement, Expectations, Finding Truth, Forgiveness, Freedom from Busyness, Friendship, Good Marriage, Intimacy, Kindness, Life of Jesus, Making Wise Choices, Overcoming Struggles, Overwhelmed and Undervalued, Pain Pleasure, Resentment, Tension, Understanding each other, Valued

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UNLEASHING THE K.I.S.S. MARRIAGE –“Fences/Freedom – Part 2”

Posted: August 28, 2011

I saw the movie “The Help” this past week, and once again I saw and felt the burning passion in all of us to be free. Toward the end of the movie, one of the main characters, Aibileen finds the courage to stand up to the self-serving, manipulating, big bad Hilly Holbrook. Aibileen boldly claims that through the process of being able to speak about her life and bring her pain into the open, it validated her as a person and she found her voice. Those words were a spear into my heart because they are so true. When we are validated and accepted for who God created us to be, we find the confidence to speak up and defend our self worth. When we discover our self worth; it unleashes confidence and freedom.  I believe God puts two imperfect people together to help them to chisel their characters into…

Posted in: Balancing life, Beauty from the Inside Out, Beauty through Boldness, Beauty Unleashed, Communication, Control, Encouragement, Expectations, Finding Truth, Forgiveness, Freedom, Friendship, Good Marriage, Hope, Intimacy, Kindness, Life of Jesus, Making Wise Choices, Overcoming Struggles, Pain Pleasure, Patience, Tension, Understanding each other, Valued

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UNLEASHING THE K.I.S.S. MARRIAGE –“Fences/Freedom – Part 1”

Posted: August 19, 2011

When someone in society breaks the law, the greatest punishment we can give them is to put them into prison. Lock them up; take away their freedom. Ask yourself this question right now, and try to visualize the answer; “What would my greatest freedom look like today?” If you have an answer to that question, let me ask you another question. “Is that picture of freedom within the boundaries of your marriage?” One of the greatest joys we can experience in this life is to be free in who God created us to be. Jesus Christ died on the cross to set us free from our self imposed prisons of guilt, shame and punishment. Yet, without realizing it, we create our own prisons in our marriages with that ugly word, control. To some degree we are all little control freaks. We have a vision of what life/marriage/husbands/children should look like,…

Posted in: Balancing life, Beauty from the Inside Out, Beauty Unleashed, Communication, Control, Fear, Freedom, Freedom from Busyness, Friendship, Good Marriage, Hope, Intimacy, Kindness, Life of Jesus, Making Wise Choices, Overcoming Struggles, Resentment, Tension, Uncategorized, Understanding each other

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UNLEASHING THE K.I.S.S. MARRIAGE –“Man Cave/Woman Cave”

Posted: August 15, 2011

It’s not easy being a feminine, masterpiece goddess amongst bar bells, pool tables, sweat, baseball trophies and football scores. But it’s also difficult for a man to feel like James Bond, 007 when he is surrounded by tasseled, fluffy throw pillows and pink and orange scented candles. So we have a dilemma.  Over the past number of years there has been animated talk and chuckles about the “man cave”; the escape hatch for a man from the daily demands of life. The Urban Dictionary describes the need for a man cave this way: “A room, space, corner or area of a dwelling that is specifically reserved for a male person to be in a solitary condition, away from the rest of the household in order to work, play, and involve himself in certain hobbies, activities without interruption. This area is usually decorated by the male that uses it without interference…

Posted in: Balancing life, Beauty from the Inside Out, Communication, Encouragement, Freedom from Busyness, Good Marriage, Hope, Intimacy, Making Wise Choices, Overcoming Struggles, Solitude, Tension, Understanding each other

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UNLEASHING THE K.I.S.S. MARRIAGE- “Checkin In”

Posted: August 8, 2011

Dentists remind us of our checks ups so that we don’t get rotten teeth; we go to the doctor so that he can find diseases before they kill us, and girls; we need to have regular mammograms. If we don’t schedule these assessments, one day we may find our bodies in need of serious medical care. It’s no different with our cars or pets; so why would we overlook the most valuable part of our lives on this planet…our husbands? I did a check-in with my husband on our vineyard walk this week, and realized we had been missing a fun component that got lost in the distractions and demands of life; our trips to Seattle for the Washington Huskies football games.  As soon as I mentioned this forgotten dream, his face lit up like a socket; and the minute we walked in the door of our home he got…

Posted in: Balancing life, Beauty from the Inside Out, Beauty Unleashed, Communication, Encouragement, Expectations, Finding Truth, Forgiveness, Freedom from Busyness, Friendship, Good Marriage, Hope, Intimacy, Kindness, Making Wise Choices, Overcoming Struggles, Tension, Understanding each other, Valued

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UNLEASHING THE K.I.S.S. MARRIAGE- “Playing Second Fiddle”

Posted: July 30, 2011

I learn everything the hard way and this time is was from burning baby back ribs.  My intentions were honorable, but it ended up all wrong.  I made a huge batch of baby back ribs; one serving for neighbors that were going through a difficult family circumstance, and one portion for our family. The ribs had cooked too long and so the outside sections were burned. I separated the ribs; the burnt ones for our family, and the succulent, perfect ribs for our neighbors. My husband Dick watched me separate the ribs and with a hurt, horrified look on his face, he quietly commented, “So we get the burnt ones?” My self-righteous, good neighborly reply was, “Yup!” I thought I was doing a good, Godly, neighborly act of love, but in the meantime I destroyed my husband and family’s valuable place in my life.  I realized I had placed more significance…

Posted in: Balancing life, Beauty from the Inside Out, Encouragement, Expectations, Finding Truth, Forgiveness, Friendship, Good Marriage, Intimacy, Kindness, Life of Jesus, Making Wise Choices, Pain Pleasure, Resentment, Understanding each other, Valued

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UNLEASHING THE K.I.S.S. MARRIAGE- “The Female Wikipedia”

Posted: July 20, 2011

I have also been doing the radical 30 day “hands off” challenge and at least twice I have failed miserably. No doubt about it; it’s a tough one especially if we are trying to break established patterns and bad habits.  Throw in some jet lag, heat, writing deadlines, a house full of company and fatigue, and those are deadly ingredients for caving in and throwing away all good intentions. I always say that fatigue makes cowards out of us and makes us want to give up, but tomorrow is a new day and we have the blessings of a new beginning. So don’t give up. Amongst all of the summer activity I have become acutely aware (again) how most women are the family Wikipedia; a wealth of knowledge for activities, social functions, grocery lists, birthdays, gift buying and having answers for continuous questions.  Here is how I see it. Imagine…

Posted in: Balancing life, Beauty from the Inside Out, Beauty Unleashed, Encouragement, Expectations, Finding Truth, Forgiveness, Good Marriage, Intimacy

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UNLEASHING THE K.I.S.S. MARRIAGE – “Hands Off”

Posted: July 2, 2011

I’m going to give you a radical challenge that just may change the dynamics of your marriage. For the next 30 days, let’s agree to do this: “Hands off” your spouse. Here are some examples of what I mean. If your husband forgot to put out the garbage, don’t berate him. Let it go and take it out yourself.  You may say something like this, “Honey, I saw that you forgot to put out the garbage, but don’t fret; I took it out for you.” Your husband is watching sports but he should be helping you bathe the children or clean up the kitchen. Remember I said radical!  Go over to him and say, “Sweetheart, I am more than happy to clean up the kitchen myself and bathe the children. You enjoy your football game. By the way, can I bring you a cold drink?” Don’t manipulate him to come…

Posted in: Balancing life, Beauty through Boldness, Communication, Encouragement, Finding Truth, Forgiveness, Good Marriage, Hope, Intimacy, Kindness, Life of Jesus, Making Wise Choices, Overcoming Struggles, Pain Pleasure, Resentment, Uncategorized, Understanding each other, Valued

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UNLEASHING THE K.I.S.S. MARRIAGE-“Cutting down the Male Species”

Posted: June 25, 2011

This was one of the most bizarre stories I ever heard. My son-in-law Tim was telling me how he grows hybrid canola. This is what he told me, “Hybrid canola is grown in rows with the ‘females’ in one row, and the ‘males’ in adjacent rows.  Then they import honey bees and leafcutter bees to pollinate the canola.  After pollination is complete, the ‘male’ rows are mowed out, since they do not produce the desired type of seed.”  This seems to be the sequence of events in many marriages. Man and woman fall in love, they pollinate (have babies) and once the male is no longer useful, he is being mowed down. I don’t believe I am being to brazen by saying this so bluntly, because I have heard women “mowing down men” in various, cutting ways. Once men no longer meet our expectations, we can cut them down by…

Posted in: Balancing life, Beauty from the Inside Out, Communication, Encouragement, Expectations, Finding Truth, Forgiveness, Good Marriage, Intimacy, Kindness, Making Wise Choices, Pain Pleasure, Resentment, Understanding each other, Valued

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UNLEASHING THE K.I.S.S. MARRIAGE-Pay Attention to the Tension

Posted: June 10, 2011

Tension in a marriage can be good. But by the time some people finish reading this blog about tension they may be shouting, “Get rid of the jerk, he/she’s not worth it.” Apparently they were worth it at one time; the day you were both all dressed up in your finest attire, surrounded by family and friends and declaring your love for each other for the “rest of your lives.”  Our modern day lifestyle plays havoc with our marriages; especially during the years where we are cultivating our careers, nurturing our children, trying to stay in the black in our bank accounts and carving out some fun recreational activities. I believe that much of the tension arises by both spouses feeling exhausted, overwhelmed, frustrated and then angry. Instead of throwing in the towel and saying, “I don’t love you anymore, and I’m leaving”…see the tension as a golden opportunity for…

Posted in: Balancing life, Beauty from the Inside Out, Beauty through Boldness, Communication, Expectations, Finding Truth, Forgiveness, Good Marriage, Intimacy, Kindness, Overcoming Struggles, Overwhelmed and Undervalued, Tension, Uncategorized, Understanding each other, Valued

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