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UNLEASHING THE K.I.S.S. MARRIAGE – Lunch Boxes and Roles

Posted: November 6, 2011

I had a fascinating encounter with one of my colleagues last week. As I walked by his work area I saw him pulling items out of his lunch cooler and describing each item to a customer.  The encounter looked so intriguing that I was curious to see what all the fuss was about. I went up to his counter and say, “So Colin (not his real name), what’s going on here?”  His face lit up and he could hardly wait to show me his lunch. “Look at these barbecued ribs, a salad with homemade dressing on the side and real bacon bits. And look, here are roasted potatoes, a drink, cutlery, salt and pepper and a little dessert.” My mouth hung open and I said, “Wow, you go to a lot of trouble with your lunches.” “Oh no”, he responded, “My wife always packs my lunch. She’s amazing!” Now my…

Posted in: Balancing life, Beauty from the Inside Out, Communication, Control, Encouragement, Expectations, Finding Truth, Forgiveness, Freedom, Freedom from Busyness, Good Marriage, Hope, Intimacy, Kindness, Life of Jesus, Making Wise Choices, Overcoming Struggles, Patience, Resentment, Respect, Understanding each other, Valued

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UNLEASHING THE K.I.S.S. MARRIAGE- “I’m not Dancing That Dance Anymore”

Posted: October 22, 2011

If you read my blog on a regular basis, you are familiar with my consistent inspiration to “show respect to your husband.” Yet, there is a yellow caution line that we need to be aware of; and that warning line is about knowing the difference between respect and enabling. This is where the danger lies.  Women are natural nurturers and nurses.  Many women feel it is their responsibility to make sure everyone and everything in life runs according to her inner, visual blueprint of life.  Let me explain the difference: Respect:  The bible tells us in Ephesians 5:33 “…and the wife must see to it that she deeply respects her husband-obeying, praising and honoring him.” We can give people respect when we see and acknowledge their God given characteristics and potential to grow and become more like Christ.  We show them respect so that it will “call out” their inner…

Posted in: Balancing life, Beauty from the Inside Out, Communication, Control, Expectations, False Belief Systems, Finding Truth, Friendship, Good Marriage, Hope, Intimacy, Kindness, Making Wise Choices, Pain Pleasure, Resentment, Respect, Understanding each other, Valued

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UNLEASHING THE K.I.S.S. MARRIAGE- “Picture Words”

Posted: October 16, 2011

“You never take out the garbage, you don’t help unload the dishwasher; you sit in front the TV and immerse yourself in football games instead of your family.” If you’ve ever heard yourself say all or any of those words, this article is for you. What you are probably trying to tell your husband is that you are tired, overwhelmed, feel like you’re the one running this household and your husband is emotionally distant and vacant to your needs.  Note to yourself: He might not understand your language. What he hears is that he never helps around the house; which he knows is not true; so he cannot figure out your problem so he has no way of “fixing” it. Words are supposed to be the gateway to an intimate and meaningful relationship; yet they have the potential to be the stick of dynamite that can blow it up. Women…

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Stephanie Shott’s new book-“Understanding What Matters Most”

Posted: October 11, 2011

Please meet my friend Stepanie who has just written an incredible, all powerful book on an intriguing book of the Bible; Ecclesiastes. You will fall in love with her and her writing, as your journey together through this great study. Stephanie is a gifted and passionate Bible teacher, speaker and author who inspires women to become who they were created to be in every area and season of their lives. Stephanie’s transparent, practical – often funny and always biblical messages present real life solutions to real life circumstances. As the result of a rape, a decade of child abuse and years of wandering in the wilderness of foolish choices, Stephanie loves to tell the story of God’s redeeming grace. Women’s ministry leaders trust Stephanie to inspire women to let God make beauty out of their own ashes, to call Christians to stand strong, live intentionally and believe God, and to…

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UNLEASHING THE K.I.S.S. MARRIAGE-“Broken or Blended – Part 2”

Posted: October 2, 2011

Strangely enough whether a second marriage is the product of divorce or death, they are indeed different but both are painful. When a spouse has died the marriage is still painful but somewhatl easier because everyone involved does not have to deal with rejection. Blended families that emerge out of divorce, have to deal with anger, rejection, disappointment, regrets, resentment…only to mention a few. In both cases, the blending of families in a second or third marriage is hard, because change is hard. One of the greatest gifts you can give you new blended family is:  1. Make sure you have dealt with your own painful issues so that you are not dragging a lot of baggage into this new relationship.  2. Acknowledge that other people involved may still be suffering with any of the emotions I listed above.  3. Be aware and willing to help the members of the family…

Posted in: Balancing life, Beauty from the Inside Out, Beauty through Boldness, Communication, Encouragement, Expectations, Finding Truth, Forgiveness, Freedom, Friendship, Good Marriage, Hope, Intimacy, Kindness, Life of Jesus, Making Wise Choices, Overcoming Struggles, Pain Pleasure, Patience, Resentment, Tension, Uncategorized, Understanding each other, Valued

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UNLEASHING THE K.I.S.S. MARRIAGE-“Broken or Blended – Part 1”

Posted: September 18, 2011

I attended a beautiful, outdoor wedding ceremony this weekend. Tucked among tall poplar, birch and evergreen trees was a beautiful white archway wrapped in morning glory and rich, flowered vines.   Underneath this serene, sacred enchanting portico, a man and a beautiful woman said, “I do.” This was a second marriage for both of them. A second chance.  A new beginning. What joy to know that God gives us second chances for a beautiful life. My ears were perked. I wanted to pay close attention to the words that the clergy woman was saying; I wanted to hear the words of encouragement she would give for making a second marriage thrive. I have also been married for the second time and I am a great advocate for making it work the second time around. After all, who wants to go through more, uninvited pain? Then I heard the words that resonated…

Posted in: Beauty from the Inside Out, Beauty Unleashed, Communication, Encouragement, Expectations, Fear, Forgiveness, Good Marriage, Hope, Intimacy, Pain Pleasure, Patience, Resentment, Uncategorized, Understanding each other

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UNLEASHING THE K.I.S.S. MARRIAGE-“Home Depot and Tool Time”

Posted: September 11, 2011

When Tool Place opened up in Kelowna, my son-in-law Tim said that, “the highlight of his visit would have been to spend one whole day at Tool Place.” My brain almost ached when I heard that; because that would have been absolute torture for me. I don’t like tools, gadgets or putting together anything that involves a tool or piece of machinery. Tonight on TV I watched Extreme Makeover and again, I saw the look of delight and the adrenaline high on the men’s faces as they drove huge semis right through someone’s home.  I completely understand now; this is what excites men and gets their jets going.   So ladies, let’s not be surprised when you get a text message from your husband or significant other the day before Valentine’s Day that says, “Hey Honey, what can I get you for Valentine’s Day?” We have to understand that this is…

Posted in: Balancing life, Beauty from the Inside Out, Beauty through Boldness, Beauty Unleashed, Communication, Encouragement, Expectations, Finding Truth, Freedom, Friendship, Good Marriage, Hope, Intimacy, Kindness, Making Wise Choices, Overcoming Struggles, Pain Pleasure, Patience, Understanding each other, Valued

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UNLEASHING THE K.I.S.S. MARRIAGE –“Fatal Distraction”

Posted: September 5, 2011

  Just in the last week several people have died because they were distracted while driving a motor vehicle.  Recent statistics show that many motor vehicle accidents are no longer due to alcohol; but because the driver is distracted. Some of the distractions listed were, of all things, watching TV, texting, on the phone, reading or just not paying attention. Bottom line; because of a distraction they died.  Our marriages are bombarded with that same game of jeopardy. When we recognize that this little piece of wires and plastic, (our cell phones, iPads or computers) takes precedence over “eyeball to eyeball” conversations, we’re on our way to a marriage wreck.  I have witnessed couples out on a dinner date and the husband (or wife) looking at the top of each other’s heads as they are clicking away on text messages or checking their e-mails or Face book messages. Really, can this…

Posted in: Balancing life, Beauty from the Inside Out, Communication, Control, Encouragement, Expectations, Finding Truth, Forgiveness, Freedom from Busyness, Friendship, Good Marriage, Intimacy, Kindness, Life of Jesus, Making Wise Choices, Overcoming Struggles, Overwhelmed and Undervalued, Pain Pleasure, Resentment, Tension, Understanding each other, Valued

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UNLEASHING THE K.I.S.S. MARRIAGE –“Fences/Freedom – Part 2”

Posted: August 28, 2011

I saw the movie “The Help” this past week, and once again I saw and felt the burning passion in all of us to be free. Toward the end of the movie, one of the main characters, Aibileen finds the courage to stand up to the self-serving, manipulating, big bad Hilly Holbrook. Aibileen boldly claims that through the process of being able to speak about her life and bring her pain into the open, it validated her as a person and she found her voice. Those words were a spear into my heart because they are so true. When we are validated and accepted for who God created us to be, we find the confidence to speak up and defend our self worth. When we discover our self worth; it unleashes confidence and freedom.  I believe God puts two imperfect people together to help them to chisel their characters into…

Posted in: Balancing life, Beauty from the Inside Out, Beauty through Boldness, Beauty Unleashed, Communication, Control, Encouragement, Expectations, Finding Truth, Forgiveness, Freedom, Friendship, Good Marriage, Hope, Intimacy, Kindness, Life of Jesus, Making Wise Choices, Overcoming Struggles, Pain Pleasure, Patience, Tension, Understanding each other, Valued

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UNLEASHING THE K.I.S.S. MARRIAGE –“Fences/Freedom – Part 1”

Posted: August 19, 2011

When someone in society breaks the law, the greatest punishment we can give them is to put them into prison. Lock them up; take away their freedom. Ask yourself this question right now, and try to visualize the answer; “What would my greatest freedom look like today?” If you have an answer to that question, let me ask you another question. “Is that picture of freedom within the boundaries of your marriage?” One of the greatest joys we can experience in this life is to be free in who God created us to be. Jesus Christ died on the cross to set us free from our self imposed prisons of guilt, shame and punishment. Yet, without realizing it, we create our own prisons in our marriages with that ugly word, control. To some degree we are all little control freaks. We have a vision of what life/marriage/husbands/children should look like,…

Posted in: Balancing life, Beauty from the Inside Out, Beauty Unleashed, Communication, Control, Fear, Freedom, Freedom from Busyness, Friendship, Good Marriage, Hope, Intimacy, Kindness, Life of Jesus, Making Wise Choices, Overcoming Struggles, Resentment, Tension, Uncategorized, Understanding each other

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